The raindrops fall over me as the flowers calls for spring
I watch at the tip of my nose; since how long
Since how long have I been staring, I know not
And I carry with my thoughts - your thoughts
I carry in my heart- your heart
You, Your tiny bits of memories
You, your heavy bits of silence
You, your sparse bits of words trying painfully to pull yourself away from me
And as I move backward
I get to see hollow sentiments
You see selfishness
How strange can love feel
How regretfully can these hearts fall apart
If only someone would give me anything
that could put my heart at ease
That would be the only thing you deny
Won't you love me too?
In this cold autumn rain, won't you take me home?
Will there ever be my heart that won't carry you

My number is blocked
I am restless
helpless
sleepless
I am already sober
Nothing worked
14 whatever
**** this ****
I can't even seem to make any sense
I can't write when I need it most
jdfkydymhfdkh

देशको आकार नहेर तिमी
छाप्रो नै होस् बरू
यहाँ सारा मन अटाउछ
आगँनको दुर्गन्धमा
तिमी मुख बिगार्लाउ
आमाले नै हो त्यो सफा गरिदिने
बुबाको पसिनामा नाक खुम्च्याउछौ भने
सम्झ, त्यही पसिनाले ले नै हो
तिम्रो भोक तार्ने

जब उदाउन छोड्नेछ सूर्य
तब घामको महानता हुन्छ ज्ञान
जब रोकिन थाल्दछ सास
तब हावाको मूल्य हुन्छ ज्ञान

देशको सिमाना कोर्ने रगत सम्झ
देश बनाउन कति घाम चाहिन्छ
राष्ट्रमा जीवन भर्ने ती योद्धा सम्झ
राष्ट्र जोगाउन कति सास चाहिन्छ

तिमी आज जात हेर
आफ्नो भेष भाषा हेर
तर एक पटक मन खोलेर हेर
त्यो सब जोगाउन कति ठुलो छत चाहिन्छ
माथिको त्यो आकाश हेर

पराईको तिमी हिरा भन्लाउ
आगँनको त्यो लालीगुरासँ हेर
हिराको चमक तिमी भन्लाउ
तर मन रमाउने सुगन्ध नभुल

छाप्रो नै नहोस् बरू
मन बिसाउने अरु काख हुन्न
आमालाई अत्याचार गर्ने
कदापी कहिल्यै सपूत हुन्न
दाजुभाइको हात हेर
घर जोगाउन अरु साथ हुन्न
त्यो छातीमा स्वाभिमान हेर
बुबाको जस्तो अरू आसिर्वाद हुन्न

I am always asked to
Stop it. Let go.
People are kind and open
at asking to do things
impossible, undesired
without leaving other options
I am asked to stop
Love, I wish I could
Love, I wish, I really do
I should have never
loved the one who would
try to block my fountain of joy
Love, I wish I could
After all, I owe you
You made my heart
do the best it could
feeling the worst it ever should
You made my heart jump in flames
You made my heart shrink in melancholy
You make my heart desire more of your denial
Love, I wish I could really
Stop loving you
I wish to let go
Love, once love was all I needed
now love is most uneasy conversation I have
Everytime they talk love
You make me realize
How bad
I am in it
love, if only I could
I think I should
erase all that carries you

we are always asked
to understand the other person's
viewpoint
no matter how
out-dated
foolish or
obnoxious.
one is asked
to view
their total error
their life-waste
with
kindliness,
especially if they are
aged.
but age is the total of
our doing.
they have aged
badly
because they have
lived
out of focus,
they have refused to
see.
not their fault?
whose fault?
mine?
I am asked to hide
my viewpoint
from them
for fear of their
fear.
age is no crime
but the shame
of a deliberately
wasted
life
among so many
deliberately
wasted
lives
is.

Forever swirling down the abyss
I have watched and exclaimed at faces
To those smiles who bear love
Exposing everything that made ne
To those heart sparkling with affection
Forever and still, I keep watching
and I have been watching
Those bodies turning back at me
Those smiles fading away
How much more, I wonder,
is remained of my heart
Turned to ashes with every denial
How much longer,I wonder,
till those ashes turn to stone
Forever cursed to swirl down the abyss

For all those moments, I tried so hard
You make me feel... bad
For all those lack of words,
oh! beauty, beauty...
How weak can you turn these words
What new words should I create
To pronounce your marvel inside out
You make me feel so new
yet I can't blossom nor bloom
How deeper intensity should it beget
The one word- that can recreate your grace
Of time- history to future
Where do you belong...
Oh darling, my darling
You are my mystery island
And for all these questions unanswered
Through words...mere words; so incomplete and fragile
For all these emotions unsettled
love and deeper, yours and mine
You make me feel so goodly bad
Yet in silence, you make me whole
Delightful with sweeping flashbacks
And still I feel so bad
For every thought, I lose words to poem you
For every second, I seem to miss you
For every moment, I miss to respire you
For every chance, I fail to whisper "I love you"