Your light outshines the rest

It's brighter and sweeter

It bekons me like a ship to a lighthouse

Like a moth to a flame

I can't get too close though,

I fear I might burn myself

I feel like you will push me away

That you'll ignore me

That you'll laugh at me  

Somedays, I see your light and think to myself,

What would I do to bask in your light?

To shine brighter than the rest

But you dont see me

You don't even know I'm alive

For I am just darkness

And you are light

Love between us is forbidden

And why would you love me?

I bring fear

You bring hope and happiness and life

You'll never feel the same

Why?

I am darkness

And you are light

I never believed that I needed my feet on the ground
to grow wings.

My heart beats like a drum.

It only beats that way for you.

The steady beat thrums in my chest.

'*** *** *** ***'

If you are near it speeds up.

'BumBumBumBumBum'

When you are away it gets softer.

'***        ***       ***       ***'

I love the sound, oh how beautiful it is.

I hear yours too when my head is on your chest.

It speeds up when I smile at you.

Does it slow when I leave you?

Or does it stay the same, unbothered by the lack of my presence.

I need to know, if your drum reacts the same as mine.

Two drums beating in harmony.

Two drums beating in time.

Darkness, thats all I can see.

No light, no glimmer of hope.

No way out, no way in.

How did I end up here?

How do I escape?

Simple, I don't.

When will the light kiss my face again?

When will the wind caress my skin?

When will the grass tickle my feet?

It wont.

I will never be allowed to leave.

I can never be who I once was.

I can never go back.

I might be happy now but that can change.

The darkness will slip it's cold dark hand into my heart and steal it away.

How long will this last?

When will it be over?

When will my cries be heard?

When will this darkness release me from it's grasp?

The answer?

Never.

My happiness is gone.

I don't know where it went.

It might have slipped out of my heart and up my throat while I was sleeping.

Or someone might have stolen it.

All I know is that it's gone forever.

I have my happy pills.

They force fake happiness into my brain.

They trick my heart into thinking that I'm happy.

They trick my friends into thinking I'm happy.

They trick him into thinking I'm happy.

They trick my family into thinking I'm happy.

But the worst of all is that they trick me into thinking I'm happy.

My happiness is gone.

Where could it have gone?

Maybe it's there behind your ear.

Or hidden in a hat.

Is this a magic trick?

One where you wave your hand over the hat and say the 'magic word'?

This is a cruel trick.

One that can't be undone.

My happiness is gone.

And its no where to be found.

When you say love what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

Does pain come up?

How about suffering?

How about tears?

Fights?

Yelling?

Yes, love can be bliss and it can be pure.

But that's not it.

Love isn't always kind.

Love can be cruel.

Cupid can shoot you with the arrow but not the person you now love.

Unrequited love is the worst kind.

But when two people are in love, it's a feeling that can't be expressed in words.

It can be hell.

But if you are truly in love, you can overcome anything.

Everyone fears something.

Whether it's the dark

Or spiders

Or thunder

Or people

Everyone has a fear

But some fears are worse than others

Some people fear the unknown

Some even fear, fear itself

Me? I have a lot of fears.

The one that outweighs the rest though,

Would have to be looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person looking back at me.

Your lies lured me in

They sounded sickly sweet

If only they were true

Maybe I would've stayed longer

Maybe I would never have walked away

Maybe we would still be together

But your lies stopped

I was no longer beautiful

I needed to lose weight

I was no longer your girl

I was your responsibility

I was no longer worthy of your love

I was only worthy of the truth

The painful painful truth

But no matter how painful it was,

I stayed

And I listened

Until one day you lied again

I finally saw through the facade of your lies

I no longer held onto the notion that I was nothing

I became myself again, well as much of myself that I could

I left you and never looked back

You called and texted, but I never answered

I finally had you out of my life

And I was going to be free

Until I wasn't

You showed up again

You sweet talked me into believing you again

This time it went too far

I believed you a little too much

So much that I'm now six feet under

In a way that's a good thing

It means that I don't have to hear your sweet lies ever again.