I want to dance with you to jazz music while we wear only our underwear at 2am. I want our bodies to know each other so well that our hearts start to beat in unison. I crave to hear the fluent Spanish flow off your lips when I make you feel something that English can not express. I want to call you mine before bed when you finally let your hair drape down past your shoulders, and when you make your first cup of coffee in the morning. It's 5 in the morning and I can't stop thinking about her loving you the way that I should be.
I remember the day my dignity was lost Not by choice but taken The air was dewy and the grass was layered with frost I recalled every word he said and was shaken I walked through campus looking like a freakshow for everyone to see I felt the blood trickling down me For years we were friends I thought I could trust him till the end I remember gaining my conscious back He whispered, "shh, it's okay I'm almost done" After those words the silence lacked With my tears drowning out his "fun"
I want to feel in love again, I want the comfort of it all. I want to rest my head in the lap of a new man and smile, happy that the first was not the last.
Have I forgotten about you? Do I feel the need to know what your up to? Do I let the pain of what you did to me bother me? Am I going to let you hold me down? Am I going to let you take away my future? Am I going to allow you to hold me back from people I want to be with? Am I going to let your drama stress me out? Am I going to let your parents control my actions? Am I going to return your friend requests, texts or calls?
I take hot showers. It's nice at first, The steam flowing around you. Gloriously warm, like an embrace. But it starts to burn, The water pelts against your skin, Stinging and turning it red. Revel in the pain, For when you get out, The numbness will return.