you are told
your whole life
to be beautiful
as if being beautiful is the only thing to be

but what if
i want to be
intoxicating
provocative
intelligent
sensual

to live a life
just being beautiful
is like
standing under an umbrella
while everything else rains down around you

what if i want to be the whole entire storm?

she believed that love was an unwritten language
and that his kisses were words
and each "I love you" was a novel that she could reread forever
but like all novels, this one came to a close
and she was left with nothing but a cliffhanger

Love isn't love unless it makes you mad
Not mad in the sense of being angry
And not mad in the sense of being upset

But mad in the sense of being so emotional
That the feeling of love is so over powering
That all you want is to take your significant other and hold them tight
And kiss them until they can finally see the light

The light of their love should make you mad in the best sense of the word
Because after all
We're all a little mad here.

I want to slow dance with you in the light
Of the stars that shine at night
I want to show you why this love is worth the fight
And give you something to believe in without a fright

I hope you look into my eyes and see waves
That continue to cave and cave and cave
And I hope they bring a smile that creeps up on your face
Whenever you think of you and I being in the same place

I transport myself
into a world that is a figment of my imagination
an irreplaceable destination
where I go to live vicariously through people
that don't even exist
but I still wish I was them
and I wish that their world was mine
and my world was nothing but a bad dream
being torn apart at every seam
but unfortunately that's not true
because in my world
there's no fine line
between what's real
and what we try to conceal

I know you're not good for me
but I secretly hope
that everytime my phone buzzes
it's your name that pops up

I know that you hurt me
more than once
but they say when you love someone
you never give up
no matter how much it hurts

and you hurt.
you hurt more than physical pain
your words continue to linger
you're the reason I'm not sane

but I love you
in an unspoken kind of way
in hopes that one day
I'll find the right words to say

All I know is that I lost myself
I lost who I was when I met you
And I don't mean that in a good way

I'm no longer the person I was
I've lost my smile,
My voice,
My wit,
And my spark.

I no longer see the beauty in the things I used to
The words in novels no longer engulf my thoughts
The artwork on the walls no longer catch my gaze
The lyrics of songs no longer make me sing along
The people around me are no longer people that I can confide in

I could write more but the letters of the alphabet don't arrange in such a way that I could accurately express how you have changed me

When you left, I left too
But only one of us ended up okay

he was a storm.
he came rolling in at unexpected times
he made my skies dark and drenched me in my own tears
he caused a commotion inside my mind and then he would disappear
like nothing had ever happened.
he caused destruction of my mental state and I wondered why for God's sake
he ruined everything in his path and didn't even bother to stick around and see the aftermath
he put out the fire inside my heart
he left me in the dark
like nothing had ever happened.

I said I would never give my love to just anyone
I said I would never give my trust to a lonely one
And I said I would never give in to lust to just have fun
But then I met you
And those nevers turned into maybes
And those maybes turned into oh yes baby
And then it hit me that you weren't just someone
You were the one
And for you,
I'd give it all.

I, am a paradox.
I want happiness but feel sad
I want everything but do nothing
I want success but always repress
I want the best of times but can't get past the worst
I want love but feel hatred
I want you but there's nothing left that I can do.

you, my darling,
are more beautiful than any painting I've ever seen
more intriguing than any novel I've ever read
your voice makes me smile more than my favorite song
you're every painting, novel, and song I've ever loved
but you, my darling, are my favorite work of art.

vying for oxygen
fighting for air
it felt like that when your hands were in my hair
but now you're gone and it feels like you didn't even care