i hurt myself from time to time
i get on my knees
i beg and cry
for someone to hear me
my pain inside
it tends to eat me alive

someone see
how badly i want to die
someone help
i'd **** myself so easily
if only i had the guts to try

"i love you...."
and a list of other things i shouldn't say

asterisks.
your name shall forever remain in a number of asterisks. you make me so miserable.

one indirect post after another. each one hurts a little more than the last. i'm not mentally prepared to see you again. please, just escape my brain.

i wish you had never hurt me. i wish i was never grounded, maybe that would have stopped you from leaving. maybe, just maybe. you were the best i ever had. i was the happiest with you. i love love loved you !! i think i still do.

please tell me those pretty lies once more

look at me. look at me, look at me, look at me. i want to be noticed.

please, don't ignore me.
i miss attention.

before, i used to hate being noticed. now, i'll beg you to just LOVE ME. i want to feel LOVED.

validate me.

saccharine eyes.
oh,
his beautiful, saccharine eyes.
ones i could get lost in
forever.

i told you i was busy. and i WAS busy, just in a way you would never understand. busy trying to forget about all of this, busy trying to remember it all. i was busy loving you while hatred ran through my veins. busy trying to convince myself that it would, indeed, be okay. that it’s MY fault you hurt me.

you occupy so much of my mind.

memories of you haunt me, lingering in the back of my mind every time i lay my head to sleep. get out of my head. get out of my head.