I am no where to be found
I do not nor will ever make a sound
Funny how the sun dies everynight for the moon
How I wish i would find someone like that soon
I am not so much of deep words
Just a little risky like the birds
Oh how they fly way up high
To the moon,yes beyond the sky
I wake up to this everyday
Remembering the month of May
Yes I get this
I am delusional in love
Hoping,one day--
Someday---
This day--
I could find my way.

As I frustratedly write this poem
I cannot find the right words to rhyme
All I'm asking is,who am I?
I do not mean to ask you that really
But its a question for myself
I could not clearly see what I'm here for
I sometimes barely stand on my own
For I shed a tear last night
On my pillow who I hugged tight
I'm lost in these valleys and plains
I run towards the hills,
Climb the impossible mountain
Swim the impossible sea
Reach for the stars
Very very far as I can see.
I lie down on my bed tonight
Slowly flashing every memory.
Oh so vivid!
Everytime it crosses my line
I draw it shorter in time
And find myself
Having the beginning and the end
At the same time.
How wrong of me to shorten my own race
I could not see my end nor my beginning
I stand infront slowly taking in every moment of a second
Minute by the clock
Blood running through my own vivid veins
Tears holding back
Fear tucked inside
And the clock yells GO!
And i run and run and run
Never to be seen again.

An open letter
To all the pieces of ****
Who use gay as an insult.
You really need to stop
Pretending that you are better
Than someone else
Because you prefer to
Put your **** in a different place.
You really need to stop
Pretending that being straight
Makes you more worthwhile.
You really need to stop
Pretending that "no ****"
Is an acceptable thing to say
Ever.
You really need to stop
Pretending that you're not afraid
That a man will look at you
The same way you look at women
You really need to stop.

Gay means happy
A ****** is a bundle of sticks
And you are homophobic.

I close my eyes.
There is a home inside here somewhere.
I remember.
It sinks slightly to the left.
My knees are covered in mud.
The trees have pushed into the living room,
sunflowers are rotting out the woodwork.
I have grown awkwardly into the floorboards.
They remind me that is okay.
I forget.
It keeps me full,
all this emptiness.
The windows are all open.
The hinges let go of every door.
I learn.
Trace the outline of each frame,
hear the echo of hollow footsteps:
"Love more,
love more,
love more."
I have never been here before.
This is what it must be like;
beginning.

There's something wrong with me
I don't have the key
to know who I should be
I don't want to pretend to be fine
when they can't see the sign
of how desperate I am to find
something better in my mind
I want to die
but i want to live
i want to dine
but I want to give
I want a purpose, something more than a cause
To leave and be free, to be my own boss
I don't want to feel things I shouldn't
I don't want to be forced to do things I couldn't
I feel alone
but there's something in my bone
that makes me hope
that when I let go of this rope
i'll find a maybe
that someday my heart would be put to safety
I am tired of being broken
not by life but words unspoken
I want to be okay
To sit by the bay
but I also want to be loved, my love
I want to be with you than anything else above
I want to sink in the waves of you voice
but that's not my choice
to envelop myself in your arms
not because of your charms
but because I love you too much
so it is my heart that I will clutch
to let you be free
even if you forget about me
Do I have to plea
just for you to see
that I should let you go
so we could grow
but every time I try
it makes me cry
you want me to stay
but you go far away
I don't know what say or what to do
but i feel rather blue

for there is something wrong with me
but in order to fix this I have to leave you be