I forget about the
moment and then it happens
I wish I was just
transparent and just

disappear.

Even in the song I'm listening
and in the photos of cats I found in the internet
In the cold air I feel in my face
or the hot cup of tea I drink in the morning

In all, I feel you

and I just cry, knowing you don't feel me in all those things like I do

I feel like drowning,
it’s my own self hate
and
I’m unable to go up.

So please
                   please

                                 please

Just let me drown.

I know you don’t love me anymore, and I’m just the chain to your past.
I know I’m contagious and that’s why you are sad now, and sick now, and anxious now.

I know you are just letting go the pieces of love that you had for me. Until there’s nothing of me in you.
I know it too well because it’s not the first time that you do it.
It’s not the first time that I feel you are going to leave me,
that you are no longer mine,
that maybe you found another one to care,
another one to love,
just another one.
But not me.

I can say that it’s ok?

But
I’m not okay, I’m crying and
you just don’t care anymore,
because my tears mean nothing to you,
and my lack of breathing means freedom to you,
and when I no longer be able to laugh
or smile
or cry
or breathe then I know for sure
it will mean nothing too.

I want to quit life
I'm just tired
So
So
So tired
I want to quit breathing, it's getting harder

I'm better at masking
Nobody knows how miserable I am
They just think I'm sad and stressed
But they don't know how many times it takes to me to not jump of this roof

I'm just so tired of everything
I'm sorry I'm so so sorry

I'm nothing.
Not sure about why I am this way,
Not sure why I don't change
Maybe is because I know I'm nothing
And nothing can't be changed

I'm air
What you can't see, but what you can feel it
I wish I could be something else
Something useful
Something that people can say it's worth it
But I'm nothing
I'm nothing

And maybe, just maybe
Nothing it's going to end tonight.

I have borderline personality,
I can be sad and happy,
I can feel the sad and happy of the days,
I'm always mad
I'm always bored
I'm just so empty
All the time

I have anxiety
I feel like dying every day
I wish everything could just disappear

I'm just illness and pain
I'm just sickness and destruction

I have borderline personality
I have anxiety
I have pain
I no longer have a life to live

Everything is cold out here. Everything is white out here.
I can no longer feel my hands, I can no longer feel my eyes.

Everything is getting worse than I thought, everything is getting colder than I thought.

I can not feel my toes, I can not feel my arms, everything is falling apart from my body,

I'm not longer a human,
I'm not longer a human,

I am getting colder,

I'm not longer a human,
Just a breath, just a breath, just a breath.