he was the best thing
to ever happen to her

but that never meant
they would last

for just like bouquets of roses
even the best things wilt

s.s

i wonder
if you still think about her
if you wish she was here
if you want what you were

if in the early hours of the morning
it's her in your head
her name on your lips
wanting her in your bed

as you silently look her
up
and
down
in your dreams
i know it must happen
it can't always be me

s.s

i
you will suddenly understand why home is not where you are, it's who you're with because their arms will feel safe like the home you never had and they will give you comfort like you've never felt

ii.
you will melt your bodies together like the way a million colors blend as the sun sets and the combination of your skin will be so stunning it won't seem real

iii.
it won't matter what the others say because every time you hear them laugh it is a reminder that they are your world and the other opinions are irrelevant

iv.
they will make the future seem bright and for the first time you won't be afraid to wake up in the morning because the thought of them is a driving force to keep trying

v.
together you will find yourself learning about life and how to fight through it and side by side you will be invincible because just their hand in yours will be enough armor to protect you from the world

vi.
you will find yourself staring at them in ordinary moments wondering how you got so lucky as to call this perfect human yours and you will thank the universe every night before you sleep for bringing them into your life

vii.
you will realise that "i love you" is so much more than three little words and that small sentence will never be enough to express how you feel about them

viii.
good news or bad they will be the first person you want to run too because they aren't just a lover they are your best friend and your day doesn't feel right without hearing about theirs

ix.
the world around you will always remind you of them and you will find pieces of them where ever you go because they are always in the back of your mind and any moment you are without them you will wish they were there

x.
you will finally understand why so many people would die for love because
you would do anything to keep them happy, to keep the light in their eyes, and to keep the smile on their face

s.s

"You should really stop that.”
I look over at her, quizzical.


She points to the cigarette dangling from my mouth and gives me the basic line that everyone says to a smoker. 

“It’s not healthy.”

“I could stop smoking at any given moment, yknow.” As I crush the supposed  cancer stick to the dirt, resisting the urge of an eye-roll. 
She’s watching me, obviously waiting for an explanation. 

God, why does she care? No one ever has before.
“It wouldn’t be hard, I mean, I’m not addicted or anything. ”

She laughs and suddenly I’m trying to ignore how good it sounds.
“Isn’t that what all addicts say?”

“I’m serious.” Judging by the look on her face, I know that wasn’t the answer she wanted. So I stopped sugar coating it.

“I just don’t quit because I’d rather **** myself in a way that’s more..socially accepted. People don’t notice as much- they call me a smoker, not suicidal. I like it that way. ”

sing lullabies
in between her things
and she will moan hymns
from pleasure within

s.s

muscles sore
from the day before
an ache you adore
wanting more

s.s

i don't want an easy stroll
into happily ever after
i want a passion
that will fight through anything
for the good ending
we deserve

s.s