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 Jun 2016 Alan Brown
Cyrus Gold
The eyes of the luthier are fixated
on the degrading and poorly fitted Dejacques bridge,
a small piece of wood that arches
at the top of the damaged instrument -
a prized 18th century treasure
originating from Brescia, a city in Northern Italy.

With a napkin in hand lightly
soaked in an oily substance,
he unhooks the piece,
then takes a replacement bridge
perfectly fitted for it. He cracks a smile.

This viola d'amore has seen better days,
with usage and prolonged handling
wearing the value of the instrument down.

Only an expert can bring a worn-out bird
seeking its once gracious and hypnotic voice
back to life with care and precision.

This luthier is a* surgeon,
a master at installing a sound-post replacement,
without gouging or harming
the quality of the instrument in the process.

This luthier is a
 listener;
as he retrieves and dusts off a case
filled with a spare set of strings,
he installs and finely tunes them
but never over the desired pitch.

Tense and crucial,
like the rising crescendo of a string quartet,
he strums the new strings for evidence of life,
listening to and directing the cry of each one,
like a composer.

This luthier is a
 healer,
repairing the cracks of the violin
by implementing a tactic he learned
on his many trips to Crawley, England,
where his teacher had once trained him;

by using cubic, wooden studs and small clamps,
he gains better control at closing the cracks just enough
to lace the opening with an adhesive
with little to no force or pressure.

This luthier is an
 artist,
*repairing the instruments
that yearn for the sound of music,
their very raison d'être.

His string and wooden patients
scream in agony for healing and peace
with voices unheard to the people,
but deafening to him.

He leaves his signature on each new patient
as their once damaged and lifeless souls
dance to the tune of his work,
healing them, promising the advent
of a future performance.

Let them rejoice. Let the music soar once again.
I love music. LOVE it.
Drown my screams out with your chatter
I'm unseen, I don't matter
Please don't give me another thought
In the grip of nothingness I was caught
Day by day I slowly slipped away
As I slowly faded to gray
You never noticed, you never knew
Noting in your life was askew
Once upon a time I use to cross your mind
The best erasing is done by time
Now I'm but a gray mist,that floats before your minds eyes
That before you can grasp the memory away it flies
I am sleepless and tormented by the contrast and volume
of hopes against fears.
So many of them.
Jagged lines and shapes jousting and scraping my inner psyche
of rich and intense colour pixelated and grainy
as is the web of events causing such fears
In contrast with the soft, yet sinister hopes looming in the future’s unseen

My limbs are a nuisance.
The physicality of their forms bring discomfort
Caused by imperfection of placement.
Whether imperfect, or perfect a form
firing fallacies neurologically implies imperfection.

Ambiguity of the source aids continuation of the problem.
Tears and years passing by and these shapes may change
and might even rearrange the thoughts of fears
Though the shapes volume grows
and the lines scrape and stab with ferocity and frequency.
An ardent soliloquy of effusive loneliness;
But a fervent display of fanciful companionship.
Fanciful, but of choice limited to one.
As soft lonesome light glows through a goblet;
Deep in red of fallacious blood,
And to speak of which I long, with one of similar mind,
Yet contradictory in gender,
Be it in terms as well.

Solitariness to me, seems bestowed.
And at times I see its light.
Or not so much light, more of a dim and distant glow,
Coming to me through that goblet,
Through the liquid lie it holds.

Imbued with the notion of these times,
I long to be, even an appendix to a Pantisocracy,
Where subjugation and self righteousness are equally redundant,
Not surplus; not wanted.
Perpetual anticipation for this future,
Is the ultimate test of faith in righteousness.
This is the ride
that I hate to take
Somber feelings
heart going to break

Time to leave
our little abode
Pulse is racing
I'm going to explode

In the car
I'm going to work
these aching feelings
hard to shirk

The miles are passing
each one like years
Down my cheeks
streams an ocean of tears

Is this the one ?
Is this the ride?
The last time
I'll feel you by my side

If this is the day
If this is the time
Never again
will my words rhyme

For you are my world
my life's destination
Without you in it
I'd have no inspiration
I count the miles
Between us like seconds.
Because every minute away
From you feels like
Days passing by
In a haze.
And though I never meant
To love you
I count it as a blessing.
 Apr 2016 Alan Brown
Grimmest
Possession
Of my mind
Of my heart
Tears of loneliness
Thinking of you
Your rejected love
My rejected thoughts
Of you and I together
Memories of other times
When you would smile at me
And I felt waves of passion
But that day has come and gone
You left me here
To bare the weight of this pain
The longing to see you one last time
The possession of my body and my courage
To hate to love you
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