i always start writing thinking the same thing
'this time i won't write about you'
but then i start writing
and suddenly
i'm writing about
how much i miss you
and how much i miss your comfort

i will never recover.

you **** every bit of me
when you say we've got eternity
or when you invade my thoughts
without any warning
i'm defenceless
and what i see is you

so tell me
why did you leave?

i want to feel something
i want to feel like the shore feels when it is kissed by the ocean
i want to feel like trees feel when spring begins
i want to feel like my favourite song
i want to feel like an artist feels after finishing their masterpiece
i want to feel like i should feel

i just
*want to feel

is this anger
is this anxiety
or is this madness?
days turn into nights
in the blink of an eye
and here am i
the whole day was wasted
in thoughts and suppositions
predictions maybe?
why do i pretend to care at all
when all this is just a walk
yes, i guess that's what it is
life is a walk
and i don't feel like sprinting
because if i sprint
i won't be able to see nature
and all its greenness
and the waves crashing

i guess you can say i'm mad
rather than say i'm sad

i've whispered your name to the wind
i've swimmed in oceans of thoughts of you
you're haunting me, and you love it

you love how you make me weak
everytime you touch my skin
how my guitar's strings play for you
and how the song they play is so perfectly out of tune

i love the way your eyes stare into mine
and how they say "sweetheart, i'm yours"

because we're a lost wave darling
and we love how we're never going to find the shore

you once told me things happen for a reason
somehow, that time it didn't sound like a chick flick cliche
no
that one time, i felt like you meant it

but, sometime later
you came around talking like things had no purpose
as if all we lived was pointless

but, darling, i remember it all
i remember how true and raw it was
and i remember you telling me things happen for a reason

we happened for a reason

and that reason is salvation from ourselves.
because deep down we know that if we fell for each other
we would be the rope that would save us from the dark pit
our souls created for us.