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courtney Jun 2019
i was clay that turned soft in your hands
you were the creator that taught me to stand
you sculpted my mind
ran ringers down my spine
you created something when i was nothing
and when you leave for something new
i will stand here waiting for you
because i am just a little clay girl
who has your signature in her skull
00/18
courtney Jun 2019
peel the flesh off my bone
reveal my soul to that of your own
let's create a moment of intimacy
intimacy, not between our bodies
but between our minds
let us dance among each other
and create a bind
that even the next love
cannot hide
11/08/18
  May 2018 courtney
Taylor
Love is texting you
A long paragraph
At 3am, telling you how much
You mean to that person

And they’ll talk about Disney Pixar characters
Because they know
You want to grow up
And be like Carl and Ellie from Up

Love is when you
Just Keep Swimming
Through all the bad
And come out from the jellyfish wall within,
Smiling faces,
Hand in hand, or fin in fin,
Depending on whether you’re a fish or not

Love tastes like what a rainbow
Would taste like,
Colorful and sweet,
Just like a candy

It tastes like the chocolate cake
He had before
He pressed his soft lips to yours

It feels like having a
Soft,warm and fuzzy blanket
Wrapped around you,
Keeping you safe
From the monsters in your
Closet

And when he wraps his arms
Around you
You feel protected,
Like nothing can hurt you…
And it’s an amazing feeling

And when he kisses you…
God, when he kisses you,
You feel like time stops
And everything is perfect
And you never want that moment
To end...

Maybe love is temporary
Or maybe it’s long lasting
Maybe love is meant for you
Or maybe it’s not

There will be heartbreak
There will be tears
But baby, I’ll tell her,
There are plenty of fish in this big ocean,
But maybe some of those fish are
Big, or mean, or maybe even broken,
Maybe some are colorful, sweet, nice, kind,
But you’ll find another “fish,”
That makes you...
Happy  

And she would look at me
With those wide eyes of hers,
And I’d hug her
And tell her,  love is out there for you,
You may not find it right away
But it’s there
Somewhere in this world
Maybe on the other side of the ocean
Or maybe it’s right across the street

Love can stay for months
Love can stay for years

Just wait
There is someone out there
Praying they get to be the one you love

Love comes
And love goes

“ Learn to love yourself
Before you love someone else,”
But don’t you dare let someone tell you
That you care only about yourself
Because I know you
And I know you care about everyone
And everything
And once you love yourself
And you’re happy with yourself,
Then you can love someone
The way you love yourself

And I’ll be here through it all
With chocolate and a tissue box
For when love fails you
You can come to me
For I shall always love you
Even if you found someone
Who loves you more than I do

But you’re young
Only in high school
You’ll see love
When it walks through the door
You’ll know it
I knew it, or, well,
At least I thought I did

But you’ll know
You won’t make the same mistakes as me
Because I’ll tell you what I did wrong
And you’ll stay away from the people
Who are just bad for you

And if your guy
Makes you cry
Leave him
Don’t go back to him
No matter how much you want to
Because he will take
That tiny, fragile little heart of yours
And run it over with a bus
Multiple times

And if your guy
Breaks your heart
Yes,
You can cry,
But no,
You cannot
Go back to him
You cannot cry your eyes out in front of him
And no,
You cannot beg
To get him back
And lie and say you miss him
Because I know you
And I’ve heard you cry about him
To your friends at 2 in the morning
Because you thought he didn’t love you anymore,
You don’t miss him
You’re better off without him
And you may think otherwise
But it’s the truth

I know what you’re going through
Trust me,
I’ve been through the same thing
Thinking he doesn’t love you anymore
Cry for a little bit
Then realize that he actually does love you
And then he says that he’ll never leave you,
Don’t fall for it, because you’ll fall
And he’ll leave you on the ground...

Yeah, I’ll admit,
The feeling of love
Is amazing...
And sadly yes, heartbreak *****
But remember,
You’ve got your whole life
In front of you
And that boy…

That boy
Was only there
For a few months of it
  May 2018 courtney
abby
We are the ones who are hard to understand
We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre
because the ending scene made us cry
We'll stop to smell the roses
because they deserve to be appreciated
We are the ones who will take the time
to learn what keeps you up at night
We are the ones who will imagine
an entire future of adventures
with the people who show us love

We are the ones who will love you more
than we love ourselves
We will give you our strongest parts
in hopes that we can make things better
We desire to see you become the best you
to make sure that you always feel our love
We crave affection and appreciation
We give a piece of ourselves away every day
sometimes to people who don't deserve it
Our love is easy to take advantage of
and sometimes we don't get back
the love that we give away

When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart
We constantly have to put ourselves back together
We are more fragile than we like to give off
We carry our emotions on our sleeves
Our flaws have the ability to consume us
We aren't afraid to give you the world
but we are afraid to feel unloved
We want you to see what we see
We want you to understand where we're coming from

We are good people with good intentions
We are stronger than we believe
Not everyone can feel the way we feel
We feel too much, too often
We are not hard to love
We are something not everyone knows how to love
But you need to remember that
your worth does not change just because
no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you

You are not any less lovable
You are the most lovable person in the world
You are a light that the world needs
Your kindness is not your weakness
You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance
You do not need to stop giving love
just because you don't get any back
Your heart is the best thing about you

And one day when you least expect it
someone will notice you from across the room
and know exactly how to love you
They will think all of these things are beautiful
They will deserve the love you can give
They will fill the empty space in your heart
But for now, don't stop feeling
We are the ones who feel everything so deeply
We are the ones who can't give up because
We are the ones who will teach the world
how to love
We are exactly who we are supposed to be
courtney May 2018
what is it that makes you so close-minded
so blind-sighted
by the world around you
you get offended by the smallest things
as if the world and the people in it owe something - as if you are the king
but you aren't are you
you are despicable, mad, and irritable
who has put that mask over your eyees
who has told you all of these lies
you are no different that us
no bigger, no better
we are the same
but you can't see it that way
you think we're different because we aren't your color
that we who are taller
are none less than a monster

so i am here to tell you that we are the same
we are the same species, phylum, and domain
our hair is different, yes, eyes and skin
but cut us open and you'll see that we're kin
open your eyes and realize
that we are made of the same ash and dust
that we all have the very same lust
the lust for freedom
for the death of jealousy
so don't come around just to claim
that you're bigger and better and that we're all insane
because i'll be quick to say that we are the same
like it or not
the fact cannot be fought

you are no different
no better, no more sane
so don't judge us because we won't be slain
by your filthy thoughts and hateful eyes
me and my guys - you cannot buy
so if you can't open your eyes, your mind, your thoughts
leave here and be gone
written: 11/22/17
courtney May 2018
though speaking is forbidden
thoughts are not
though love must be hidden
it is they who call the shots
we get no choice
no voice
no freedom
to do what we want
and where
they all preach freedom
they all claim equality
but where is freedom when you're bound by restraints
where is equality when you're shunned by your race
you can't change your heart, your mind, your path
you can't change your sad, your happy, your wrath
when it all comes down to it
it is up to them
what you do
when you do it
and where
you can't spin around and twirl in your favorite dress
for there are restraints and that's disrespect
you can't laugh aloud and smile real big
for there are restraints and that's completely rigged
restraints, restraints
i want you to be no more
my heart is bleeding from the label: you *****
my body is sore,
let me go
let me free
i want to soar like the birds above the trees
spread my wings and fly real high
if i falter, i'll just have to try
again and again until i get things right
i'll never stop, no not out of fright
i wont give up without a fight
all i want is to be free
to say goodbye to restraints
hello to the breeze
but that's not okay is it?
to want to be me
rules and regulations
they rule this world
society itself is a huge firebird
that plows through the cities,
fire on its wings
burning through the houses and girls' confidence
society is cruel, no not fair nor just
there is no freedom of speech or rights
restraints they are there
forever in a day
they tell you what to do
and they tell you what to say
and if you rebel
punishment will come your way
they take away your little freedom and send you into dispair
so you must play their games and deal with the rules
just count down the days until you can absolve into a big crowd and say goodbye
to this life you once lived with no freedom or life
one day their restraints will no longer contain you
you will be a bird in a cage with the door wide open
so wait little birdie
keep your strength hidden away
for one day you'll spread your wings and set to the sky
away and away from this terrible life
full of restraints,
no voice
no choice
no freedom

wait little bird
for your day to be free
written: 11/15/17
courtney Dec 2017
"mirror, mirror on the wall
who's the fairest of them all"

i see my reflection

is it broken
i'm not pretty
my eyes are too narrow
my legs are too long
my stomach is too big from dinner
how could i possibly be fair

"mirror, mirror on the wall
who's the fairest of them all"
i repeat it
over and over
but the image remains
angry
i swing my fists
and along with the shattered pieces
my reflection falls to the floor

i slump to the ground
"why won't you work"
i cry
then i look at the mirrored fragments
my reflection no longer there

on a slim piece near my hand
there's a reflection of a young girl
she's moving but her eyes are closed
she travels using only four senses
she has lost the fifth
the young girl stumbles
and flails her arms
she cannot see
for she is blind

she would be grateful for a set of working eyes no matter how narrow

on a long piece near my knee
there's a reflection of a young man
he's in a moving wheelchair
when it stops
the young man lifts himself out
using only his hands
the young man has no legs
for he had just come home from war

he would be grateful for two legs no matter how long

on a wide piece near my hip
there's a child
a child whose skin is tight around his bones
no meat to keep him warm
for he hasn't eaten in days
weeks
maybe months

that boy would **** to have his stomach big from dinner

unprivileged persons litter on the shattered pieces
blindness
starvation
deafness
illness
disorders
it's there
it's real

i piece back the mirror and seal the cracks with glue
'mirror, mirror on the wall
who's the fairest of the all"
i ask again
when i see myself
i nod

for i am privileged
i am grateful
i am fair
written: 09/04/17
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