Sands near the sea

Fill my mind

Like beaches

While storms tear

Through my happiness

And destroy my smile

Until there is nothing

But sand and seashells

Near waves in my eyes

You will make many mistakes
You will get your heart broken
You will wish you were dead
You will lose your mind
You will love again
And again and again
You will come back for more
You will always come back for more
Love is like fast food

People say
That jealousy is a female trait
I beg to differ
Everyone suffers from jealousy
Yes, I said “suffers”
Because jealousy is not a female trait
It is a disease
Wanting to have what someone else has
Wanting to look like someone else
Feeling threatened by someone
Experiencing uncertainty
Those are diseases

I need you
Like the moon needs the sky
Like the sky needs the stars
I need you
Like the sun needs the sky
Like the sky needs the sun
I need you
Like humans need hearts
Like hearts need blood
I need you
Like you are my drug
Like my drug is alive
And my drug is in love

hearts don't break even

they have jagged edges

blood lost, love lost

so much is lost

when trust leaves the room

and resentment takes its place

right by the fireplace while

you are pulling your hair out

because it happened again

you lost yourself

while simultaneously losing your lover

and you would rather sit in the fireplace

than wake up tomorrow

and realize it didn't have to end this way

but it did end this way

because you didn't throw

your ego in the fireplace

She was an angel
But I turned her into the devil
With my lies
With my carelessness
With my anger
With my hate

I set fire to a flower
And was shocked
When the flower
Fell in my lap
And set me on fire

All the flower needed
Was attention
And love
And effort
And everything I wasn't ready
To give

we collided that night
and caused a supernova
since then, it has been hell or heaven
no in between, no turning back
i want this forever
not just for a year or two
and i think you do too
but forever is a long time
and we don't know what forever looks like
but we know that people change
and feelings sometimes fade
i hope ours don't
i hope we fall for each other every day
like raindrops on window panes
like leaves from tall trees
like tears from newborn babies
i hope we fall, but never falter
because that fire in my soul
is alive and well
since we caused that supernova
i've been burning inside for you
and i just hope you have
the same sensation in your organs
i can only hope you feel the same way
and if you don't, i'll understand, i'll swallow it
like prescription pills

Even on your worst day
You shine like a thousand suns
If only you knew
How blinded I am
By how flawless you are
And why every syllable
I utter about you is the truth
When I describe you
From your head to your toes
I am speaking from the basement
Of my heart
Where I house memories
Of our first nights together
And our last nights
Where I fell in love
With your laugh
And the way you know yourself
Better than I know myself
And at night I pray
You never lose that spark
Deep inside of you
That caused a spark to ignite in me
Which will burn in my heart
And travel through every crevice
Of my soul
Until my heart has had enough
And suddenly stops on a dime
Never to beat again
For you
Or myself

i live inside my mind
it's a broken home
negative thoughts line the walls
insecurities cook in the kitchen
broken is an understatement
i'm internal
not external
i won't tell you i'm dying
you will see it, feel it, hear it
that's how i am
it's how i'll always be
i don't think i will ever be set free
from myself

we try to play numb
to our thoughts and feelings
like there's a chance
they will leave us alone
as if they will disappear
if we try to avoid them
but they never will
they have no days off on their schedule
they make us who we are
they're parts of ourselves no one can see
at night
during the day
every second
every minute
every hour
we can't avoid ourselves, our minds
we can't escape the mirrors, the reflections
we can't be numb, and refuse to ever feel

Bad relationships are good for you
Of course, they will end in disaster
You might lose yourself in the process
But you will be wiser than before
Bad relationships teach us about ourselves
They teach us about what we deserve
And what we do not have to put up with
Sure, we will forever be haunted by people who treated us like toilets
But someday, we will all be gold toilets
Given full attention
Shown respect
Treated with care
Intoxicated by love
We will be the most amazing gold toilets

weather is changing
for better, or worse

and i am changing
for better, or worse

days are turning darker
nights are getting colder

and i am growing numb
to everyone, everything

soon i shall be giving thanks
in a few days time

to the people who never left
and places which molded me

i will not be eating turkey
most likely, i will eat Chinese food
by myself, somewhere in this city

but i will give thanks
i must
shouldn't i?

to everyone who has stayed in my life
and every place that carved me out of stone

that will be my thanksgiving
that will be all
that will be it for me, this year

the waves in her mind
crash against her trust issues
as if thoughts of heartbreak
rest along the shoreline

painful memories from her past
live in her head like lyrics from love songs
she'll never forget the melodies of

skeletons in her closet, are catching dust
next to broken dreams of a perfect relationship
with someone who won't let her fall flat on her face
when she falls madly in love with them

reality keeps her up late at night
forever reminding her how fatal love can be
and what can happen if she loses herself
trying to find someone
who will make her heart beat right, again

if i could snap my fingers
and have you back in my arms
i wouldn't move a muscle
because you cracked my heart in half
and i still haven't recovered
you will never know
because it hasn't happened to you
and i hope it never happens
because putting the pieces
of your heart back together
is harder than any jigsaw puzzle
in the entire universe

i like the moon
more than the sun
no offense to the sun
but the moon is less arrogant
it is subtle
and doesn't feel the need
to let everyone in the world know
that it is the greatest thing since sliced bread
the moon goes to work
when the sun leaves its shift
it does its job, effortlessly
then slips away slowly
as the sun begins bragging again

i'm obsessed with you
but that's the best kind of love
in my opinion
i feel like if someone
isn't obsessed with the person they love
then they really don't care
about them at all

don't say it, i've heard it before

that word, which rolls off the tongue

as quickly as rain runs down window panes

forever, can be temporary

it can be a single moment

forever is scary, when you approach its meaning

don't say it, unless you mean it

i've heard it before

again and again, and once more

the last time i heard "forever"

"forever" lasted several months, until it was over

and even the one, who assured me eternity was in our future

had fled from my life, into someone else's

i guess, "forever" had a different definition

than the one found in the pages of a dictionary

saying "forever" is simple

but actually meaning "forever" is in the proof

they are two separate worlds

saying "forever", is in a world of spontaneity

actually meaning "forever", is in a world of endless effort, perseverance

along with blood, sweat, and few tears along the way

saying "forever", will leave you lonely someday

actually meaning "forever", will make you feel whole, and feel loved

words have no meaning, if they do not match actions

actions have all of the meaning, they are the proof

they are the truth

they are forever

I can't forget the past
Which shaped the way
My heart currently beats
With such irregularity
Heartbreak is painful
To say the least
But at best
You will never love again
For fear of having
Your happiness shattered
Your heart split in two
Your image of them tarnished
After they find someone
Who they think
Is better suited for them
Than you ever were
And the only thing you can do
Is wish you were dead
Because the person
Who used to make your heart beat
Will be the one
Who rips it out of your chest
And takes it with them
On their way off to forever
Forever, without you

the graveyard is in her mind

taking up space, next to broken memories

of better times and happiness

when she felt alive and hoped for the best

but now, her thoughts are buried

six feet below her nightmares

and ideas about what love is, and what it might do

if it finds her again

Today, today
I lost my mind
Because of you
And because of me

An explosion, an explosion
Happened somewhere in my mind
Because of harsh words
And quick tempers

We shouted, we shouted
Back and forth
Because of me
And we almost died

Can we, can we
Go on without fighting?
Because fighting destroys us
And I feel sick to my stomach when we battle

Will you, will you
Help me, help you
Because we need each other
And we always will

pick up the pieces of your heart

retrieve some glue and duct tape

because it's time to get to work

and it's time to stop sulking

you are the only person who can

pull yourself and keep yourself up

repair your heart, repair yourself

until your heartbeat isn't irregular

and breathing becomes easy again

you can make it, you will make it

believe that things will be better

and eventually they will be

if you never stop believing

She didn't remember who she was
Before they told her who to be
And what to wear, and how to act
She had no recollection at all

Society placed her in a cage
But not before beating her down
Until there was nothing left
But a lost girl
Who followed trends
Who feared being herself
Who hated herself
And became addicted to fitting in
And staying in

i am not ready for my grave
i haven't married
the girl of my dreams yet
she is studying
and she is thinking about me
while she should be thinking
about calculus or chemistry
and she is not ready for her grave
because she hasn't married
the boy of her dreams yet
he is here
writing a poem about how
he isn't ready to die yet
because he hasn't checked the last thing
off of his bucket list yet

my girl?
she is like lighting
deadly and quick

my girl?
she's beautiful
on the inside and the outside

my girl?
she has a big heart
if you had to draw it to scale
it would be the size of mars

my girl?
she laughs at everything
which makes me laugh at everything

my girl?
she is precious
like blood diamonds

my girl?
she is insecure
always critiquing herself
it breaks my heart

my girl?
she knows what she wants in life
and how she will get it
independent, to say the least
determined, would be the understatement of the century

my girl?
she keeps me happy
while i keep her happier

my girl?
she is far from perfect
but she is everything i could ever want

my girl?
she is asleep right now
i think i will send her a message
telling her why she makes my heart
act like a banshee in my ribcage

i found fragments of bullets

inside of me this morning

they've been there since the day

you shot me in the heart

then proceeded to exit out of my life

without even a goodbye

i never cried once when i thought about you

for days, weeks, months

told myself that everything would be fine

everything would be just fine

but i was lying to myself

as i did when we were together

every day i told myself

that we would last forever

there is never
a right time
there is only now or never
time doesn't exist
but death does
so before they bury you
tell them you love them
show them you love them
laugh until you collapse
speak up, speak out
love more
fight less
smile hard
frown less
be honest, open and forgiving
because you don't have time
you only have death
and it is waiting for you
around every corner

all we can do
is love each other
and never stop
because love is all we have
love is the adhesive
to our mosaic
without love
we are as good as dead
without love
we are finished

if your heart
no longer leaps and lurches
when i am near
then tell me

if my heart
no longer dances and dives
when you are with me
i will tell you

love is the fire
buried inside of us
that makes us fight for one another
and makes us act so crazy, from time to time
but mostly all of the time

Petrified of losing you
Never seeing you again
Living a day on Earth without you by my side
You showed me what love is
Which made me a better lover
Nothing like my last relationship which still haunts me
We fight for each other
Not with eachother
And that is what I live for
Knowing you want me as bad as I want you
So please be my rock, be my spine
Hold me down but lift me up
While we chase our dreams
And hopefully catch them someday

it was never time
for me to let go of you
you forced me to
by fleeing to someone else
when i showed you
no affection
and showed you little to no love
so to this day
and for this feeling i have  
i wonder if the fault
is in my stars or yours
because you could have left
instead of destroying my trust
and destroying the thought of loving you
by sleeping with someone else
and making me hate myself for so long
that i never thought i would
ever love myself again
but in retrospect, i understand
i would not stay with someone
who wouldn't take care of me either

thoughts of the future scare me
always have, always will
how can they not?
never knowing when it's my turn to go
when it's my turn to leave earth
not knowing if i will see old age
not knowing if my dreams will come true
it scares me like nothing else
the future is a mystery
today is a burden
yesterday was hell
i don't know where i am anymore

I caused the tears
To stream down her face
And wet her shirt

My mistakes are piling up
Higher and higher and higher
And I don't think she can take it anymore

Soon, I will be a distant memory
Soon, I will be her past
As she look towards a bright future
Without me
Without us
Without this

i didn't know
if i would ever see you again
and that put genuine fear in my soul
you were everything i wanted
and everything i needed
but the universe
had a different plan for us
and it took you away from me
but you weren't gone for good
the universe just created some distance
but we have made it work
through thick and thin
through hellfire and high-water
we haven't given up on each other
which isn't shocking
because we have both been given up on
so we know what it feels like
to be left in the dirt
with tears streaming down our faces
and love in our hearts
for someone who doesn't care that it's there
we met each other
after we had both been through
relationships that ended catastrophically
and we worked hard to reverse our thoughts
about love and life
and we have fought every day
to reverse the way our broken hearts beat

We let love wrap its hands
Around our necks
And watch us squirm for air
While it asked us
"Will you both be faithful?"
"Do you know each other's fears?"
"Do you know each other's favorite colors?"

We let love crush our throats
Until the only breath we had left
Was to ask
"Forever?"

i messed up before
it was the right person
but the wrong time
she was beautiful
from her head to her toes
she was everything to me
and she was the right person
but it was the wrong time for me
i didn't know then
what i know now
i didn't know how to handle
a delicate person
i didn't know how to take my ego
and put it away for a while
i didn't know
that you have nurture love
not ignore it
and hope it will stick around

time after time

we stood hand in hand

saying forever, saying nice things

maybe we meant them at the time

but time unravels all

and as time went on

those nice things we used to say

seemed like mirages in the distance

while i became monstrous  

and you became distant

we met fire with fire

but only i got burned in the end

nights are the worst
when the thoughts come in
from every angle
and i have no chance
of getting any sleep.

my problems become larger than life.
my past comes back to haunt me until i wish i was dead.
and i forget to breathe.

pain lets
you know
that you
are alive
it is
the only
thing you
can feel
everything else
is just
smoke and
sesame seeds

she is broken
mentally, not physically
you can see the pain
in her eyes
you can hear the pain
in her voice
you can taste the pain
in her tears
you can feel how broken she is
without touching her
lies made her cautious
broken thoughts made her bitter
love made her fall
loss made her crash

Getting led on
Is the worst
It's like getting on a roller coaster
Slowly going up the long steep incline
Your heart ready to exit your ribcage
Your stomach ready to plummet faster than the ride
Then just before the roller coaster drops
A gigantic soccer cleat appears out of thin air
And kicks you off the ride

you are miles away
we're separated by rivers, lakes, cities, mountains, highways
and breathing hasn't gotten easier
even when we're together, i know
i will have to leave again
and adjust to life without seeing you every day
which kills me
and takes hold of my lungs
and twists them
until i'm gasping for a breath
gasping for the feeling of your skin on mine
the feeling of your head on my chest
as you listen to my heart beat for you

her mind is a black hole
void of positive thoughts
she overthinks every decision
replays memories over and over
until she breaks down
and gasps for air
like there's none left in her bedroom

this happens once a night, every night
this madness, this episode, this panic, this destruction
but when the sun comes up
she looks for the mask
kept under her pillow like quarters for the tooth fairy
she puts on the mask, after she puts on makeup

the mask comes complete with a smile
comes with the happiest ****** expression imaginable
but under the mask is a frown
that would make the saddest clown shed tears
but she doesn't want her family to know
doesn't want her friends to know
how broken she is deep down inside

so she puts on the mask every morning
so no one asks questions
so no one knows

Let go of anger
Anger will not let go of you
You have to tell it
To leave you alone
It is easy to hold onto anger
To keep it in your back pocket
But realize that anger
Hurts you more than them

the stars
in the sky
are screaming at us
to shine like they do
but we refuse to
we make ourselves small
we don't let others
see our light
we are afraid of ourselves

I knew this day would find us

The day when it feels like we are at the end of our rope

And we would rather use the rope to strangle each other

Than work out our problems

When you stay quiet, I lose my mind

If I could read your mind, I wouldn't lose mine

But I can't, and you aren't speaking

So I begin to resemble the Incredible Hulk

And rage sets in while you have made the decision to ignore me

We have our ups and downs, good days and bad days

Our ups are cloud level, star level, sun level

Our downs are abyss level, hell level

Our good days are unforgettable, wish they would last forever

But our bad days are Hiroshima and Nagasaki

maybe i should
ask her to marry me
she is all i think about
i would die if i didn't have her
when i wake up
she is the first person i think about
before i shut my eyes at night
i see her in the dark
i see her in my heart
and in my soul
i will never let her go
i hope she is ready
because lord knows
i have been ready
for so long

i will annoy you
until the day i die
i will be more annoying
than you are
i will be the best boyfriend
you have ever seen
i will be the best boyfriend
this world has ever seen
because i will not stop annoying you
i will not stop kissing you
i will not stop calling you
i will not stop texting you
i will not stop telling everyone about you
never ever, ever ever

The same old story
Girl loved boy, boy loved girl
Boy did not appreciate girl
Boy found someone new
Girl was destroyed by the weight of her world
As it came crashing down on top of her
Boy left for good
Boy never looked back
Girl never recovered
The same old story

if i could snap my fingers

and have her in my arms

that snap would make sparks fly

and light the entire world on fire

for the rest of eternity

and although we would die

at least i would get to hold her

just one last time

the stone in my stomach
is filled with words i never said
whether out of fear, or anger
or other emotions which grasp my sanity

they remained unspoken
whether for my sake or yours

now they sit in silence
comfortably next to my dinner
keeping me heavy
keeping me down

i should have said everything
that was on my mind
while it was still there
and fresh, alive, and well

it is the little wars that destroy our minds
the words we don't say that haunt us

she wasn't the sun to my sky
she was the air in my lungs.

she wasn't my heart and soul
she was the blood in my veins.

she wasn't the only person i've ever loved
but was the only person i would've killed for.