The only person in this world whom I considered real turned out fake. With tears in my eyes and a knife in my hand, a cross on my neck and soon it will be the end. Don't worry too much, just feel less and ignore more everything's gonna be fine as I won't be here anymore.....!

You're the cause of my pain
And yet you're my only pain reliever
You give me hope
And the very next moment you shatter me
You love me
And yet you hate me
You hurt me
And then you console me
You dominate my thoughts and dreams
And yet I'm never there in your thoughts
I feel so strongly for you
I cry for your love and yet I don't seem to get it
And then you cry when I'm not there
I sometimes can't quite understand this contrast
Are we just meant to be this constant conflict of emotions???
Is togetherness never going to be a part of our script???
Will our love ultimately fade away into oblivion???

I'm like an open book
And yet I feel like I'm shrouded in secrets
Unsaid words...unshared feelings..unexpressed emotions
I'm a beautiful mess...
Chaos and clarity both co-exist in me so harmoniously
Conviction and doubts...they both are attracted to me
Love and hatred...I'm an equal receiver of both
I say so much
And yet I feel like I've never really said anything
I think too much
And at times my mind just feels like a blank vacant space..
...unable to process anything
I can't quite define myself..
...i keep asking myself strange questions...
...who am I?
...what am I?
...do I have any purpose and if so then what is it?
My days are mostly spent in sadness and regrets  
And yet I find joy when I'm able to pen down this sadness
Sure..i cry my soul out when I write about the pain and regrets
But just being able to write about it gives me a different kinda' high
I guess it makes me feel relieved in some ways..
...a strange sense of comfort about being able to write what troubles me

What good is my pen if it doesn't write about you
What good are my thoughts if you're not in them
To have spent a night without dreaming about you feels like a crime
My day feels lost if don't talk to you
Believe me when I say I love you
For me there's no one or nothing in this world above you
You are to me
What the waves are to the sea
We're inseparable
You're the oasis in my heart's desert
You are light that guides me through the darkness
You are the queen of my mind's forest
You are the goddess of my soul
I'm your dedicated devotee..
...your humble worshipper
I'm enchanted by your generosity and grace
You fill my soul with the most exquisite of colours
You carry me through on those difficult days
I can't quite describe it in proper words
But I feel so strongly for you
Ever since you came into my life
There's this incredible sense of positivity and hope that keeps running through my veins
My heart keeps pounding at the rate of knots
My mind is filled with your images
I feel you in every nerve of my body
I've never felt this way before
I think I've found my soulmate in you

Whenever I feel like crying my heart out
Whenever I feel like screaming my lungs out
Whenever I feel like I'm burnt by the sun of life
Whenever I feel engulfed by flames of sadness
Whenever I feel depressed and low...
...the room in the corner of my home.. That's where I go...
That room is my refuge during my sad moments
The room has dark coloured walls
The room possesses a couple of dim lights
The room doesn't have anything much save for an old bookshelf which contains memories of my childhood
On the walls of the room are some hanging pictures of my childhood...
Those pictures look at me with affection..
...sometimes with a bit of concern
...perhaps they feel sympathetic towards my lonely heart
The room comforts me and takes me its in arms when I feel like I can't take the agonies of life no more..
The room with its eerie quiteness has a soothing effect on me
The room has a solid wooden door which is sometimes hard to pull open
But once it let's you in...it just takes you over with it's warmth and kindness
Whenever I feel like resting my head on a shoulder
Whenever I want to think clearly
That room always helps me out
The room in the corner of my home means so much to me....

I was missing you a lot
So I went near the river and recalled our old memories
And there as I slept on the river bank
I dreamt of heaven and earth
I dreamt of you by my side
Birds chirping
Sun shining
The serene sound of the river flowing
Greenary all around
I dreamt of the mysterious galaxy
I saw the playful and evocative moon
I felt the power of the sun
I experienced the magic of the stars
I felt the black river that flows from your head playing with my face
I felt the warmth of your love
I dreamt that we were flying with the birds
Flapping our wings of love
I dreamt that we were travelling on clouds
Changing hues.. Watching the sun set and sometimes raining love
I dreamt that we were floating in space
Discovering the light of love in the midst of darkness
I felt safe with you in my dreams
I felt blessed and peaceful
My heart felt a happiness it had never felt before
I wish you'd come back wherever you are
Missing you terribly....

Aftaab kay dhalnay kay baad
Chaand ki roshni kay jadoo may
Sitaron ki chadar kay nichay
Tumhari kaali zulfo kay talay
Meray khwabo ki jannat hai
Ek arsa ** gaya woha gayay huay
Kabhi ek martaba ayo toh mera pass
Meri rooh ko ek ajeeb sa sukoon milega
Aur Mera dil ka ghar khushi si khil uthega
(Urdu and Hindi)

English Translation

After the setting of the sun
In the magic of the moonlight
Under the blanket of stars
Underneath your black hair
Lies my paradise of dreams
It's been ages since I've been there
Just come to me once
My soul will feel a strange sense of comfort and relief
And the home of my heart will flourish with joy

If indeed
my heart knows
every word
to this song,

why then
does my voice
argue that it
should never
be sung?

Can you pretend you never knew me
Act like we never met
See me on the street, look right through me
My broken heart thinks that's best

Pretend there were never any good times
Before all this fell apart
When I was yours and you were mine
Although I hope you find it hard

Do your best to count your blessings
Since Cupids arrows have been removed
Mark it all down as a lesson
That I still struggle to make it through

Try and pretend we never mattered
Turn off all your memories
Forget the times we filled with laughter
And that I was once your greatest need

And if you find all this pretending
Has left you empty in both heart and head
You will find me more than willing
To take our love and pretend again