I carry my heart on the pelt of a rabid coyote
winter impelled and needless pacing
it runs away from me faster than it knows
premature blooms hold me by the wrists
they tear me open with their lonely beauty
don’t go as pleaded by roses
it was a climb into an abandoned house
wind howling through years of dust
together we mourn their soft petals
ignore how each step may be a great collapse
I look for you in every empty room
your rhythmic breathing is the slow drum
I rip apart the static like a seam
the same way the coyote bares its teeth
maybe the agony of its foaming mouth is a dream
maybe my bed is a pool I drown in each night
I surface each morning shivering
I never forget the snow or ice
driving the shovel in with so much force my palms rip
blood or roses or blind white
flesh broken by new thorns
panting just the same
eyes just as wild
I watch as my father pulls out his shotgun
one bullet echoes in the field
a second that feels like years
my eyes burn with sorrow and I grip my chest
“It wasn’t its fault,” I whisper as though choking
“No,” he responds, “But now the misery is over.”

What if yesterday, today, and tomorrow
Came together for one day
Would they all dwell on their past mistakes
Or live life for today

Would they dream about tomorrow
As today's dreams fly away
If they had it all to do again
Would they relive yesterday

Life can be confusing
My hope is that you'll find
That after yesterday, today, and tomorrow
have had their say
You'll live one day at a time

Tu chali gayi thi bina kuch kahay
Mera dil ek veeran reygistaan ** gaya tha
Andhera hi roshni lagta tha
Tanhayi kay siwa kuch nahi tha
Ab itnay arso baad tu waapis aayi hai
Par tu abhi bhi mujhsay kuch bolti nahi  
Ekbaar mujhsay kuch keh toh sahi
Meray kaan taras gayay teri awaaz suun nay ko
Nafrat ki nazar se hi sahi
Par ekbaar mujhay dekho toh sahi
Meri aankhen taras gayi hai
Teri aankhon say milnay ko...
(Urdu and Hindi)

English translation

You had left without saying anything
My heart had become an empty desert
The darkness used to feel like light
There was nothing except loneliness
Now you've come back after ages
And yet you still don't talk to me
Please just talk to me once
My ears are yearning to hear your voice
Even it's a look of hatred
But please look at me once
My eyes are yearning to meet your eyes...

i was hoping that sleeping would become easier with age
and exhaustion

money was always the problem but now that it's not, i
genuinely thought

my shoulders and neck would unwind and i would rest
easier

my neck twinges, protesting my naivety, my wrists
have stiffened


i am contemplating how better to grow up...

should i...

learn pottery?
drive a car?
invest my money?
go on dates?
find new friends?
lose some weight?
go for a trip?
eat some good food?
do something interesting?


i am sitting in front of the tv, i laugh

a funny joke, some good-looking people struggle
with relationships, stupid games, insane challenges


my mind wanders and i forget


now, the chill is in the air, leaves fall to the ground,
night grows longer, i am exhausted

my knees hurt, my back hurts, i shed more hair,
cannot down pizza like i used to before

my mind wanders and then, exactly when i need the sleep,
lands again in this **** hole

of picking something again

Paper or plastic
Is what they ask me
Standing in line
At the grocery
You have a choice
What will it be
Fill up the ocean
Or cut down the trees

Plastic will last
For a million years
We'll all be long gone
While it still hangs out here
We can bury it deep
But one thing is clear
Plastic will last
Beyond anything here

And you may not see
A tree round for miles
As we bulldoze them down
In progress selfish style
Not caring that
After awhile
There will be no trees left
For the grocer to smile

And say...

Paper or plastic
When they see me
Standing in line
At the grocery
Given a choice
In what will it be
Fill up the ocean
Or cut down the trees

You asked me what my name was
You asked if we could dance
You asked if you could have my number
You asked me to call
You asked me to pick you up
You asked me to hold you
You asked me to wipe away your tears
You asked me to just speak nice things
You asked me to stop fixing things

I never asked for anything
And now I’m asking why

Make peace with your broken pieces....!