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 Jul 2014 Sillage
Smudged Ink
i am alone
totally and completely
it wasn't like this before

i had so much attention recently
slowly i was trying to pull away
i was crumbling under all of it

i'm not used to people seeing me
i'm the invisible one
i'm the one no one pays attention to

i cut off my hair thinking it was time for a change
the only thing i feel is more vulnerable
i don't have my shield anymore

so here i am, alone,
waiting for somebody to save me
when all i do is push people away
thoughts from last night
 Jul 2014 Sillage
Smudged Ink
my blue eyes are an oceans tide
they are both the calm and the storm

my blue eyes to some are just blue
but looking closer you will find much more

behind my eyes is a story
one that has been kept in for years

behind my eyes are secrets
that have been waiting to get out

these eyes see the world in a different way
making pictures into thoughts
and putting people into boxes

these eyes are not what they should be
and they are not what they appear to be

to some people my blue eyes are beautiful
to me they just remind me of what’s inside
 Jul 2014 Sillage
Sjr1000
Desire
 Jul 2014 Sillage
Sjr1000
He was far too disorganised
driving too fast
here and there
with no particular place to go.

She was a neon light
flashing
in the black Mojave night
a celestial mansion
alive
with such sweet smells.

He now had a purpose
a story to tell of
a
thousand fantasies
hotter
than the hinges
on the gates of hell
sparklers of desire
flaming through neurons on fire.

He was lite up
like
neon
in the dark Mojave night
all he could see
was
delights
in
every window burning bright.

Her fingers beckoned him
her eyes pleaded
her breath said
yes yes yes
her
body
danced and swayed
perfect harmony with all he craved.

He moved closer
moment by moment
movement by movement
to
take her to places promised.

He reached to take her hand
there was one
exquisite flash
disintegrated
shred into ash
on the pointed arrow
of
her forever flames

Just like that.
The line "hotter than the hinges on the gates of hell" is from Todd Snider's Play a Train Song.
Thanks Todd.
One of mine and The Masked SleepyZ's favorite lines, had to get it in there.
To anyone feeling sad right now, these are not the moments you will remember, in 5 years time when your smile stuns even the coldest of hearts, you will not remember this date and time, and you will not remember that your sorrow once tried to eat you alive and you sat and felt tears roll down your face. These are the moments that will blur and fade from your memory until you are left with the slightest haze of recollection that things were not perfect once, but the happiness you feel will drown that out until you perceive sadness as a fractured figment of a dream that visited you long ago. You are not your losses, your failures, you are the extent to which you loved, not the numbers of those who loved you in return. This sadness is temporary, your dreams, your hope, that is eternal. Be defined by your joy, it leaves deeper impressions.
 Jul 2014 Sillage
Matthew Hundley
Call number one
I was going to tell you
How much of a ***** you were
For making me feel like this
But I hung up

Call number two
I was going to tell you
That everything was your fault
And you were the reason
We would never work out
But I hung up

Call number three
I was going to remind you
Of all the things you said
To me the last time I saw you
But I hung up

Call number four
I was going to scream
Scream until my lungs exploded
And the world went black
But I hung up

Call number five
I contemplated driving
To your house
In the pouring rain
And tell you everything in person
But I hung up

Call number six
I remembered how your smile
Used to make life
A little more bearable
But I hung up

Call number seven
I remembered how your eyes
Light up the sky
Because the stars were jealous
But I hung up

Call number eight
I gave up all hope
Of trying to make myself
Not want you
But I hung up

Call number nine
I decided that I would say
Everything I could
To get you back
But I hung up

Call number ten
I started to cry
My hands were violently shaking
As I tried to hold the phone
But I hung up

And then came call number eleven
I heard your favorite song
And I looked down

Call number eleven
You told me
That you were sorry
And then you hung up
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