you left me.
you're gone.
out of this silly, old town.
away from all of the disappointed faces, and frowns.

you're on to bigger things.
things that you deserve, and
things i could only dream of.
(i hope you enjoy Taiwan, it sounds pretty cool).

i miss you.
you've vanished, like a thief in the night
a bird in flight
and i don't think it's quite right, the fact that

i may never see you again.
but it's "okay",
i guess.

(but, there are some things i never told you, because i've always been too scared.
you have really pretty eyes. and a really pretty smile. and really pretty dimples. and a really pretty laugh. and you're just a really pretty person overall).

you won't remember me.
or maybe you will.
"the girl who admired me from afar".
(or the girl who spent her nights writing poetry about nothing but dead people, love, herself, desire, and you).
the girl who was always too afraid to make the first move.

i hope you know
that i liked you.
and i'll always regret,
not saying "hello",
because i was too afraid of
what might follow.

What is a woman ?
Although I'm a fan.
I can't understand them,
'Cos I'm just a man.

They're soft and so cuddly,
When in a good mood.
But just a day later,
Are sad and subdued.

They can be so fiery,
If you're out of luck.
The only defence,
Is to learn how to duck !

But what can us men do........????
When they act so demure.
With their charming sweet smiles,
Fascinating allure.

I'll never understand them,
Try as hard as I can.
For with all things considered,
I'm only a man.

I hope you forgive my abrupt interjection, but, I cannot shy away from your divinity.
Simply put: my knees buckle under your presence.
Something odd with the display of my affinity.

You're that complete package, a rare item, awesome.
Caution: unwrap with care, choking hazard with small items.
Yeah, I read the warning signs, the garbage is usually where I toss 'em.

That smile. Those flashes of white.
The sight, those glazzies, sharp without regard.
Like you see my soul and talk to it without fright.

Which, to me, is an achievement beyond comprehension.
My reflection: an ominous droog staring back working at working at sharpening the lines.
My disbelief in your presence sits comfortable on this rigid suspension.  

I know this might be a fruitless endeavor, a **** in the wind, pennies against dimes,
Fine. But I'm a ******* for this closed-fist brutality that comes off your lips.
I'll crawl into fetal before letting you walk away from the rhymes.

If I'm not enough to catch the radiation of your burn, I don't know who is,
Truth is, if I could spend a day without a thought of you then I guess you win.
But I bet I'm running across your mind right now, and I'll never tire until I indulge in this fool's bliss.

Why am I doing this?...

Emotions running wild at full momentum, the inability to stop this force is straining me
My conscious is constantly blaming me
All the screams and darkness that’s in this world are aimed at me
I halt with my hands up in full surrender
He carries the hurt from the past love, he’s the true offender
With no doubt
The thief who stole my love then snuck out
His hands were full, he stole everything that I had
Our future has died so now, he is facing my past
I’d given all my love away, how could I be so foolish?
He received all my love, then threw it away, how could anyone do this?
How could someone tell you they love you then disappear so fast without leaving a trace
How could someone sing they love you, but you can see all the lies written upon their face
Yet you pretend that its all kosher but you see it in his beautiful eyes
You don’t wanna face the ugly truth, so you feed into those beautiful lies
The pain is too overbearing so I attempt to run and hide
But theres nowhere to go when the walls closes in, and all I’m doing wasting is time
So Im stuck in this dark lonely place
I’m imprisoned next to these lost souls with blood all on their face
Blood all in their eyes, they reach for me, I try to fight them but I can’t move
And my pride wont let me cry, and It wont allow me to lose
They pull me into this black hole, with muggy mist and shattered bones
This can’t be hell, because I know that God have my soul.
I try to fight them off but they are too strong
My mind is getting weak and body can’t go on
Then he awakes me and I’m out of my dark horrendous dream
He holds me and brings me into his light
Where everything is so beautiful and seen
So I feel in love with him, he was my knight in shinning armor
He rescued me from my terrors and brought me out those horrors
I loved him with all of me, not leaving a split second out
I can’t blame him he’s not the theif here, so I’m calling love out
Love can steal someone’s life, I see it everyday
I’ve committed no crime here yet I still have to pay
I did everything I was suppose to
I never abandoned you even when I was told to
Yet you pushed me aside
All those tears I cried
Stain my shirts, my sheets, my pillows, they’re bleached
From the hurt and pain that’s was held hostage inside of me
And I freed those tears from their shackles and let them run free
I freed myself from my shackles now I have a chance to run free
Run away from ME, I’m the one who I’ve been fighting all these years
I’m the one who didn’t allow my self to love because of all my fears
So I began to runn sooo freee and I‘m running so free I feel so free…..I pause and look back and realize that Something’s got a hold of me
It shouts at me
“Where do you think your going, haven’t I been all you had”
“Now your gonna leave me behind, because of this guy that you think you have”
“You Can’t just up and vanish from me, lets not forget sweetie I'm your PAST”
“Whenever you look back, you’ll always see me, ha! you wont last”
“So your giving me up. All because of this LOVE”
“ Your gonna leave me for that, after he took all your trust”
“Go right ahead, LOVE is gonna hurt you anyway, you think this guy will be here for everything BUT trust me I’m here to stay”
“You can leave me, go right ahead but I bet you be back”
“Because soon as that guy abandon you you’ll realize that I’m all you have”
Sincerely, Your Past



                              Copy Right 2013
                                    ©Patty Ann

Making it? What is the meaning?
I am meant to make it just because people around me say I need to and that is the reason
So I keep on trying all through the seasons
Doing it for all these people that I should be pleasing

Making it?
So someone can start breaking in taking it?
So I can so admirably say I'm raking it?
Well I don't give a ** i'm not gonna be making it,
So if this is what it is then i will know forsaken it!

I will cast it away, because i'm here for the better days
I'm here for making it in different ways
I'm on a different chapter reading a different page
Time is a measurement of age

Age is time, so if I don't make it then let it be my crime
I am here to be content and search for happiness, not to slave for a dime
I will climb and i'll climb till i find and find, till i break through the grime
And break into my prime

I am in the pursuit of happiness
And I don't no if i'll ever capture this
But i'll latch to this
And close the hatch on it