In my eyes, those that were closed
those that were opened,
before we fell, before I held your hand
with the intention of intertwining
my being to yours,

I saw a man, a man I had seen
in the depths of my desire,
a man if I could not look at freely
I’d steal glances of - by the night’s umbrella
or the sun’s ignorance,

I would for, involuntarily
even my thoughts chiding,
I’d blend with the sea,
to catch any drop he’d scatter
and those pieces collected,

would bring me closer to the warmth
of your breath, warmth of your single glance
and I couldn’t explain,
I couldn’t derive myself from longing
an inch of a glance, he nonchalantly threw
and to me was the second I caught,

I saw a man, a man I had seen
in the depths of my desire,
a man if I could not look at freely
I’d steal glances of by the night’s umbrella
or the sun’s ignorance.

The days come and go,
so does my shadow
with night and day,

I've grown, grown big
to want a husband and children,

without the sun's warm embrace,
I've followed life,
living with principle
and my words, to their abode;

I'm a woman now,
my mother's hands smaller than mine,

I'm a woman,
the mirror paints her beautiful,

The days are long gone,
those days I miss and my head
can't twist back enough to recall them,

This, this is sadness.

I wish I could talk to you,
not like how I talk to God
but how I talk to myself
when I'm not missing being loved.

In love?

It must be a waltz but I’ve never waltzed
or soft tapping of feet on solid cloud
but a steady feeling, observing when to storm or harvest
the kind one can never regret.

You know a craving of chocolate
while having an aching tooth,
Or a run on a rainy day,
There’s reason, not spiteful but one
which could prevent a headache
Yet the heart will only stomp it’s feet.

I feel, I might have been in love
each time a pen translated my thoughts;
Yes, my hand was writing
but description that lets me meet
my thoughts, how it feels as though
they’re conversing with me
whilst silly but to my soul
it’s a taste of said waltz or glide by amongst the stars.

You know; the roof that’s been unrestricted.
In love…

I wished for too long
to live in a space
built especially for me
where I could stroll around
and stumble upon my
innate favourite parts of living.
A place, different shades of hues.

And I did,
did live in that space;
every time when you weren’t asleep.

Darling, open your eyes;
I want to come home…

My God neglects me
but I’m never envious
He placed my fate
in a way I’ve to call out to it,
and I call out to it every other day.
I cry alone to hide my tears
the rain I hide from
could’ve been my God’s blanket
to hide those tears with,
I talk to him still.
My God doesn’t listen to me
maybe I whispered,
speaking in language
he’s reprimanded me of using before;
Demanding.

In the end,
I finally set out to fly
as I was told it were order
of maturity.

The sky passing many colours
stars conversing with my dreams
I felt content.

On this journey I went
The wind conspired many temptations
But I let my wings find their destination
My eyes closed,
I took in the feeling
of letting go…

When I opened my eyes,
not only was temptation
before my eyes,
I wondered if I’d set out too late…

I’d have been blind
not to lick my lips
When a black cloth hung
on his pale skin
teasing my venturing desire,
Self aware…

I don’t remember how
when my sense came
My hands were hanging
around his neck
He and I…