We weep far too much
Tears can't mend our broken hearts
Only deaths warm touch

Here I sit
Astride my computer
Held in its gaze
Unable to draw away
For fear
That i may miss
Some small titilation
Or item of interest.

I sit here
And feel
Slowly
Slowly
Less
Me
And more like
My screen.
A souless avatar,
A mindless hologram
Composed of
Ones and zeros

I commune
With my
Digital peers.
Empty as
A jar
Which once held
Homemade jam.
I feel incomplete.

she is a wilting daffodil only lives a few weeks before losing all of her prior appeal
she is a fleeting thought
maybe for a moment she sounded like a good idea but it is better that I let her go

she is too much like my ex
angry and disrespectful and lazy in the bedroom

she tastes too much like my childhood traumas
the way my dad smells when he drinks too much
how my mother never says “I love you too”

she is not something beautiful
she is bitter and poisonous and she does not care how comfortable you are

or uncomfortable

her favorite flower is a daffodil
she thinks it’s romantic and tragic how they only live but so long

I bet she never guessed
you were so glad something could die so quickly

never guessed
you were so glad you let her go

this is not an apology

I’m sick of saying “sorry”
when I take my clothes off for you

my body is beautiful
even if you never said so

I’m sick of saying “sorry”
for knocking back the bottles
harder than you knocked me around

this is not an apology

I don’t owe you anything
hell I never did

I’m sick of the sorries
because my lips were too slow
my tongue too fast

my hands never met the speed of your measure
the tick tick tick of your metronome

I’m not sorry for walking away
when this was only ever one sided

this is not an apology

and I am glad you’re gone

Twenty five years
tomorrow,
a quarter of a century but
dad's been there
behind me
watching out for me,
it never seems to me
that he's not here,
Woodbines and a pint of beer,
the scent still lingers
fingers on my shoulder
guiding me and
I got older
suddenly by
a
quarter of a century.

I don’t know if a part of me really died when you left
or if you just took it with you

because my five a.m. smile hasn’t been around for months
and cooking was my favorite thing
and I always made you lunch
but now I can’t even stomach the thought

I don’t like getting behind the wheel of a car since your dad died
it’s even harder with a cigarette between my lips
but I couldn’t drive any other way

I don’t like kissing girls unless I’m drunk
I feel less guilty for wishing they were you

I don’t sleep at night
but I don’t think I ever did
it’s harder now
sharing a bed with your ghost
and I swear these sheets still smell like you some nights

I haven’t cried since Charlie died
not since you left
I don’t think I remember how

I wonder if you remember any of our late nights together
I know we had quite a few
I wonder if any still mean a thing to you

how easy am I to forget?
do you look for the parts of me you stole?
I doubt I’ll ever get them back

I was so willing
I would’ve given you all I had to offer
I did

and you
you left me with an empty chest
screaming out your name

come back
I can’t make it on my own

i took faith by the hand and walked with her slowly
she whispered sweet nothings into my ear had me believing
she took me to a place i wasn't familiar with
she had my attention, her truth seemed so real
i had emotions again, i could finally feel
she told me all terrible things with time will heal
i took faith by the hand and ran with her swiftly
things started to change even more quickly
she took me to a place filled with the unknown
i was finally no longer afraid of what things might be
as i looked passed the darkness all i could see
my own reflection looking back at me


apn

And this isn’t some sad love poem about how I still love you
I don’t

But out of all of my mistakes, you’re still my favorite