I am not changed by you or from you,
but with you

Like the earth and moon
your pull attracts me, moves my ocean’s tides
and I hold you steady, in an orbit,
We dance, of pushing and pulling
a starlit spin that lasts our lives

I am not made by you or you by me
but nurtured and renewed

Like the wilting bud that life has already cut
closed and confined,
You are soothing water and I am allowed to open
You fill me with so many possibilities
and I bloom

I always wanted to do spoken word poetry,
but paper is too forgiving.  
It's so easy to pour onto paper
what you think,
how you feel.  
To become what they want...
expect, hope, fantasize...
to hear.  

If there's a misspelled word:
bitterness, anger, frustration, blame...
there is always the spell check.

Or if there's a typo:
misunderstanding, miscommunication,
misappropriation... miss-everything...
there is the backspace key.  

And if all else fails,
and the words are too much:
too far, too long... so long...
there's always delete.  
And start again.

Paper is too forgiving,
I've imagined how it feels:
scribbled on, removed from, blotted out.  
And then discarded once I've been read,
or not.  

I mean, how much paper is recycled
that's never even been touched...
till it's tossed into shredder to be
reshaped, remolded, reconstituted...
to become something else.  

How many poems are written
that never even get read.  
At least words spoken out loud
have a chance if screamed...
or whispered...
loud enough,
to get heard.

Yes, paper is too forgiving

You can't go back to the beginning
You can't start from the end
At no point are you the same person
You can't go home again

In every heart there's an aching
A desire to remain
But with every moment there's a changing
It will never be the same

When you leave, memories go with you
But your love may stay with them
Like a phoenix, rise from the ashes
Take flight and build again

Do you know how it feels to be yelled at
screamed at
***** slapped
all that
Hiding in a corner praying that it's over

Do you know how it feels to be
called names
shameful things
head games
things you can't bear to hear

Do you know how it is to feel
***** and unclean
terrified, scared, mean
angry enough to scream
******* to all the world and *******, to you too

Do you know what it is to feel
like the bad words stick to you
running you all through
ripping at the real you
rip and cut and **** me too

Do you know how much I just need to take a bath
wash away all the mad
rinse all the sad
scrub all the bad
be careful you don't wash away, too

I tasted you the moment we met
Our eyes meeting… the tranquil waters of the ocean
Our hands touching… strong and worn like the Earth herself
Our lips forming words and smiles… a private dance shared between us

And then we parted, nothing left but the sweetness to savor
You knew nothing, it was my own private taste, my own private moment
I was cute, and shy… always “cute” and “shy”
You were proud and beautiful… like a mountain that needs nothing more than to be, to display its glory.
What hope had I that that single taste would become a feast

But I would taste you again, your essence a vivid memory on my tongue
And so we did meet again and again, mingling and parting
Eyes, hands, lips… all practicing for some other destined occasion
And you, becoming a craving, the desired main course for a starving woman

After a time, I had lost hope of quenching my thirst of you
As your flavor seemed to get lost on my tongue,
Nothing more than a vague memory… an aftertaste
I began resigning myself to a life of fast food and leftovers

Oh, I had tasted… dined… on others
But none could compare to your flavor, water to honeyed mead
Or perhaps it was your flavor mingled with my own
That created some epicurean delight that my senses could not let go of

And just as I had reconciled my life to TV dinners and mac and cheese… there you are
Eyes, hands, lips, coming to mingle and dance once more
Letting me taste you again, and again
Floating on my tongue like sweet ambrosia

Our meeting, glances and gazes…
Our touching, hands, shoulders, backs, thighs…
Our dance, the words and smiles,
Go late into the night

And you remain, the taste becoming an appetizer… a prelude of the dinner yet to come
Then a single promise… dance… kiss
And as if we had practiced enough,
I taste you again… and drink you whole.

Words, Thoughts, scenery
nothing but random memory
passion in me
Slippery soliloquy
Sounding possibility,
chance derived, probably
I mind it like I find it
Deriving, aligning, designing…  bit by bit
Thrown together, fantasy is what I take, I make
all the words strung together like so many pearls, I break
all the rules and boundaries
Giving me power, and power frees
the mind, my mind, my body, my soul, decrees
That I do what I please,
with ease...
I tease... the words, the form and find the heart
just one part,
the start
of the whole, the body, the soul
of sound, its bound
within me I struggle to make it resound
and this is what I found
I finally see, what's deep within me
I'll be... Poetry
and I'm free

I found myself buried deep within the womb of creation
Lost, I climbed through the mud of life
Pulling myself up on the bones of the ancients
I broke through to the light, and heard the earth cry
Rise, Woman, Rise

I looked upon the face of the eternal
Reaching upward, I tried to touch the sky
So with my feet planted firmly in the past
I grew toward the future, bridging both earth and divine
And in me, the words rose once more,
Rise, Woman, Rise

After I had bridged the heavens,
After I had delved through the mud
I branched out towards the stars surrounding
Souls glittering in the lonely sky
Beckoned by a need, I reached to them
But just out of reach, they twinkled distantly
When a single answer I heard them call
Rise, Woman, Rise

And from my roots, I grew down deeper
And from my arms, I reached out high
With my fingers, stretched out longingly
Glancing over them, I swept the sky
Fingers clasped my own in their hands
Pulling me towards their brilliant light
Connected, I am tied to the universe
Woven into the web of life
And now, when I see another reaching,
I cry out the words that brought me here,
*Rise, Woman, Rise

There is a metal in me...
I am of  iron as old as the ages
Mother Earth’s very core fills my veins.
I can taste her in my blood, I can feel her in my heart
It is this metal that drives me forward,
that holds these bones together
that nourishes me and gives me life
And in times of need, becomes my backbone
so I will not fall under the weight of the world
but will walk tall and proud in her splendor
for part of the world is what makes up the very essence of me
and, with her, I am stronger than any weight known

From my glass cage, I look out upon the world
A woman's mystery sealed inside a little girl
I bit the bitter apple, swallowing knowledge whole
Following the white rabbit, I left behind my soul
Down through the darkness, I fell to the other side
Deep inside the mother, I was born again and died
The beast came upon me, offering comfort for my pain
The pomegranate eaten, only his stories remain
Despair grew inside me, a sad child to bear
With myths all around us, the truth I did share
A child born of red fruit, I hid you from the beast
Born of the mysteries, I spared you from the feast
From my swollen belly, a snake writhed to life
The snake charmed me upward, back into the night
And to the farthest reaches, she led me to the sea
With mother's womb before me, I planted seeds of thee
Diving deep within her, fruit's flesh fell away
With fins and tales to sing of, the waters moved in sway
Howling a war of hate and fear, the beast sought me out
Searching for my hidden smile, he burned the snake in doubt
And with his fires raging, he boiled through her sea
Searching for salvation, he found only me
Truth’s voice stolen from me, he took me to his lair
And in his hidden heart’s chambers, he entombed me with great care
He put me high upon his shelf to make the world forget
Encased in this glass cage of myths, tortured to regret
But my smile remains hidden, as your seed at last takes root
I know the truth of myth and lie, for I have tasted your red fruit

sweet, slippery juice
sliding down inside
tasting tangerine twists
making tongues tied

passions sway of palettes play,
peaches soft and ripe
juices jest of tasting best
on gentle lips delight

flavors savor tongues licks
dipped in fragrant flesh
lurid longings bittersweet
left lingering orange afresh

where the beauty is?
why do we only see the beautiful ones on display,
perfect as complete perfection, photo/makeup/cosmetic correction can make them stay...

replay, forever young, caught in some perpetual still life like on a canvas,
flawless, braless with ever perky ******* and bright white teeth polish,
bronzed skin and too tight everything, my god how the world must sing

whenever they strut their **** all around and bring
the rest of us less than perfect ones down by saying... nothing
according to the magazines, there go my dreams,
all in a too fat, too flat, where the ****'s my **** at,
reality in play, myself is where I stay,

stuck, in 6 weeks you can be like them, in six months you can be like her,
in 6 years you'll be like you... cause that's the cards we're played,
the genetic makeup, life breakup, reality shakeup is
that the impossible really is just that,

the beautiful really are just that,
and inside I'm just that
so wake up all you magazine covers, look up and take notice all you trend setters,
stuck up, rich *****, fake ***, wanna be real but gotta fake it *******

this... is where the beauty is

I have whispered green
The grass so thick and lush like
velvet upon my bare skin
Prickling, tickling, touching
making its way in

I have whispered green

Into the sun and the forbidden
cracks in the broken asphalt road
Jutting, cutting, strutting
pushing through to the world above

I have whispered green

And broken free to the other side
and the thing that keeps me
rooted, muted, suited
in these too tight places is the earth that keeps me alive

I have whispered green

I will never be that clever smile upon people’s lips
Or that realizing moment where they blink back tears
I am only that whispered sigh or wistful shrug that is found
at the end of words.

And like the grass, it is not my green that is missed in winter,
but the other colors I surround
Only when I grow too tall and proud am I noticed
and then cut to fit, with their intentions

I’ve been that bird with earthly wings who flew to close to the sun
feathers tattered, now raw and molten,
your gravity reminded me of my “proper” place
A corporeal impact upon my metaphor

But know that even with a single breath or glint of heaven’s light
I will find myself in currents, carried
by that possibility of becoming so much more
than at the end of words

I sometimes wonder how different my world would be if I were completely alone.  

Papered skin stretched thin.
Like autumn leaves after winter's hands have scraped them clean.  
I am a poem you've already seen.

Dusky dark life of hollowed spaces,  
my body filled with regrets and angry places.  
I am a poem you've already seen

Tears of joy and sadness fill air
a void of soul I expect to be there but not made whole.
I am a poem you've already seen

Thoughts so primal, urgent passions
Racing, raging, our words... our worlds clashing
but saying, holding, nothing
I am a poem you've already seen

I sometimes wonder how different my world would be if I were completely alone,  
and I wrote the poem you've already seen

Soar,  soar,  rise above it all
Let yourself jump from that cliff
And  feel yourself fall

Fly high above the green leafed branches
Above the concrete,  steel and angry glass masses
Above the pettiness, fear and the pain
Past the anger,  frustration,  you,  me, and blame

And soar,  soar,  rise above it all
Let yourself jump from that cliff
And feel yourself fall
Like the fool you have been...
Ignorance is bliss
Blind to the acts that bring about consequence
Thinking the world revolves around you
Acting like there is nothing more you can do

But soar,  soar,  rise above it all
Let yourself jump from that cliff
And fall
Then hit at the bottom  till you find your own wings
Funny how life's hardships bring about change
Evolving,  revolving, surrounding ourselves in the misery...
life's history...
of everyone else

Till we soar, soar,  rise above it all
Jumping from that cliff is just our chance
To fall... then soar