Just to level with ya
I'm not on a level with ya
I'm my super futuristic swag ish
The kinda ish you cant cope with
Nine Lives
No worries the mayans calendar brought no end for me
I'm an entity
Reincarnated many times past
They say seeing is believing
Watch how my soul last
Throughout time like a fine wine
I'll make my impression
Take note of this life lesson
many have tried but there is really no one like me
I come from dimensions ascended from queens
Supreme being
Check my pedigree
Things mere mortals can't see or even relate to
If I were you I would bow down to my greatness in front of you
No reason for the southern hospitality
But no confusion or illusion
I'm a southern girl until they bury me
Only the deep can contemplate the inner working mechanisms of this story
Destined for greatness
Leaving my mark embarking on this journey
I'm under appreciated
So I emancipated my mindset
And went on a diet dropped alot of dead weight
To think with a higher realm of reason
Lest we forget I speak with foreign tongue
To those who can't comprehend my exsistence
So in close i'm me
I'll never be residual
top notch first round draft pick
I'm a truly unique individual
I dont know another way to be

Instead of love and needing
You used and wanted
Flaunted your lustful conquests
Distastefully like a sick game
Just another name on the page
I know the feeling of being trapped without a cage
Prisoner of love
My crime confusing love and lust
Left in disgust
My punishment life sentence of emotional emptiness
I'll drink to that... Again.

I prided myself on never hating anyone
I let their negativity roll off my back
Bit my tongue until it was split in two
Took their criticism and took the high road
I see that was no use
Your negativity is a poison
Seeping into whatever crevice crack it can find to invade
A parasite latching to its host
Wanting to bring down my drive my spirit
My mind you want to raid
You glance at me smirk with contempt
because you see in me what you lack in yourself
Personality maybe?
A smile that shines so bright the very sight of it sickens you
But in true fashion
I never brag or boast or thrive on the vision of another's misfortune
Even though you would love to watch me suffer
I use your negativity
As my creativity
My fuel to leave you in my rearview
And as i drive away I will throw up the deuces
Make my own way
No excuses
You wont bring me down!

I could tell you things
Like...
I miss you..
I love you ..
I need you ..
I crave you...
Despite the physical reaction i clearly have when I'm near
All fears are left at the table
As my innermost inhibitions take hold of me
Something so beautiful its a pain i have to watch you leave
But..
You haven't gone far
You left my physical presence yet the essence of you invades my dreams
Am i awake or dreaming?
To see your face..
No matter the time date or space
I wanna be where you are
I could give you things
Like...
My time
My energy
My money
But..
My time wouldn't suffice
There aren't enough hours on the clock..
Months on the calendar ..
Days in the year..
To let you know how I want and need you in my life
My energy its depleted..
But to give you all my love
It's a well needed feat of strength
Cause to empty my pockets or wallets
To show my love..hmm
That as shallow as the promise of forever...
Cause I  can't give you that..
But what I can give is me
If you needed my breath to breathe
I'd let you live
Cause for your love my life is all I have to give.

Oh you a gangsta now?
Let me guess cause you got those "hard" tattoos
Jordans as shoes
And blow more green in your in between time
Oh you a gangsta now?
Cause you fight a little bit
Stay on that corner and quick to pollute your nation
With the wicked ways of degredation
Oh you a gangster now?
Cause you roll with a clique
To weak to stand on your own
But there validation gives you the courage
To steal without hesitation
Peddle drugs with no reservation
Take life as quick as a minute passes...
Well I hope those tats come with teflon
Cause while you out here playing the don
There's plenty associates that'll aim at your head
For your place just to save face with a few so called good men
I hope that corner has insurance or at least comes with benefits
Cause as past gangstas before you predicts there are only two outcomes present
Lifetime in a 6x8
Or 6 feet under while your soul patiently waits the outcome of where it will spend eternity
I guess this is what our forefathers gave their lives for
For this ignorance of the so called gangasta

Call me a diva
Cause I got a switch in my walk
Flip my hair gloss my lips with MAC
Got some attitude in my talk
You call me a *****
When I stand up for me
Don't play by the boys only rule
Making the world R-E-S-P-E-C-T me
What you fail to see is I am woman
Not the names or labels you choose
I carry the weight of great ancestors
Queens on my back
My reputation you won't abuse
From the top of my head
To the bottom of my feet
Proud strong loving determined
I do not welcome defeat
My hair is not what makes me beautiful
Neither the makeup on my skin
It's my heart my soul
Strong and open to lengths untold
Outer beauty doesnt compete with that
Within
My size doesn't define me
Not the size of my ******* or my behind
But the standard of which I carry myself
My intelligence my mind
The many facets of this complex unique individual
Is what makes me woman undeniable

He asked me…
Is the ***** his
He put his name on it
He know the way to hit it get it another man couldn’t dare..compare
To the way he love up on me..****… he know I wouldn’t ever ever share it…
He strum my body like the fine cords of a guitar
***** me crazy like a **** star
I try to run from it but..hmm..he don’t let me get far
I never ever lie to him
When I tell him
That this ***** belongs to him
He got the exclusive rights
He treats my body like an exploration
***** my ***** like he’s on a vacation
He never wishes to return from
And makes me forever come…to new heights
Oh you may wonder
Why my language is so ****** with it
So raw and uncut
This man drives me to pure ectasy
So it’s a must..that i
Tell him what he got me feeling
Tell him what he already knows
I love him 100%
But 300 plus 700 when its us without our clothes..
Most may say I’m sprung
Maybe even flat out crazy
How I let this man claim my body
I don’t know..could be…maybe
But I say
He can’t claim something
I let him put his name on anyway..
I’m his forever and day
A day and a lifetime
Drunk off his love like I’ve downed 6 bottles of red wine
Just so gone
But he finds me
He gets me
I let it be…
Just wrapped up in the moment of us
Knowing its love and not lust
Cause from beginning he had my heart & soul
And with this we have nothing but time
He places his hand on my hips
Brings me close
To his lips...and says
Is this ***** mine..
And I will always answer yes…

Cold and alone
I cannot breathe
For the life has been drained out of me
Or should I say snatched away
Those brighter days I once took for granted
I'd give life itself for just one last glimpse..
No sense in crying
Cause as I lay here dying
I realize there is no way back home
I reached for the phone
Dead silence greeted me on the other end
I could pretend that in my eternal solitude
that this is bliss
But lord knows i won't be missed
Cause that list grew shorter
As my fakek friends became my real enemies
maybe that was the true death of me
Trying to see the good in an impossible situation
So now I lay here longing for one honest salutation
But hey i've made my peace
I'll just close my eyes and await for the darkness to befall me
Most fear death
But its nothing but reality for me

He was my muse.
I took him into myself.
Became him.
Felt him
Knew him
While I was him
He was draining me
Killing spiritually my reason for being.
Forgot who I was in pursuit of building...him
And then dust settles...He became I.
And I was no more.

You just want me for my ***
and not my gender
what's between my legs
drives u more instead than my mind
you care about my head game right..
all the while playing head games with me...
right..
this one that one I'm confused
or is it that I feel used
Nah to strong a word
this b.s is for the birds..
I played the role
closed my mouth open my legs
that's what u liked but what was outta sight was the next chick
I didn't think quick or at all
I let my heart lead
when it shoulda took a backseat to my vision
cause my intuition told me you were playing
but like a fool I'm staying stuck
going in circles for a man
who wants cake ice cream the whole **** buffet
to my dismay I will never be his entree
he rather keep me long enough to satisfy his lust
but hey he said its love..he just wanted me for my ***..

My angel...
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Or how the future may unfold
But when the eulogy is told
I want them to say I lived
Don't shed somber tears
Reflect throughout the years
The laughter and love we had together
And how thru thick and thin
I held your hand until the end
Through any storm with u I weathered
It breaks my heart to leave you here
I cant look back for it causes me pain
I'd take my heart out
Give it to you without a doubt
If I thought that would keep u sane
But ill move on and so will u
You'll have joy laughter and love
And when u sleep tonight
Dreaming your sweet dreams
Just know with all my might
I'm smiling down on you from above

I tip toed down the hall last night
the cold mahogany sent chills through my warm body
Just for a glimpse at you
I never been more in love with one thing
one idea one fantasy...just one you
Could it really be you belong to me?
So angelic while you sleep
Such peace but at best I'm a mess inside
This love has me shaken to my foundation
I just don't wanna lose this feeling
If God made anything sweeter than you
anything more beautiful
I know he kept that for himself
I'm just blessed
That he found a home for you in my heart to rest
As you lay sleeping...
Wondering are you thinking these same plesantries of me as  I am of you
I would ask you myself
But I will let my angel lay sleeping..
The descent from heavens' grace made your wings grow restless
So rest..my sweet angel
When the sun casts its light across you're decadent brown skin
And as your soul awakes from within
Just know my eyes never left you...

Beautiful Eyes Lie
Illusions of Happiness
Gaze deep to see pain

If if was a fifth you'd be drunk
or maybe just maybe
you'd be gone off possibilities
of things u think could be but aint
oh trust im no saint
and angels dont sing when u enter a room
but one could assume why you're here
so lets be perfectly clear
im no winter jacket in the summer
nor a rain jacket in the fall
if i do recall im here for you
yet im only used when convenient to your purpose
but what hurts worse is
knowing you wouldnt see a good thing
with ray charles eyes if stevie told him just so blind to love so just let me go

Welcome to the Revolution
Where hate seems to be the only solution
Our children walking to the execution
And violence is our world's pollution
Black men going insane
Acting like boys not using their brain
Flooding this earth with babies like a storm of rain
Leaving single mothers and children in pain
Young lives come and go
Just as fast as the old
Where our children just can't seem to grow
Because they're poisoned by society not to know
In a world where *** can ****
Many don't think so but it most certainly will
But protection is available so what's the deal
This epidemic is opening a wound no man can heal
Welcome to our world's revolution
where living is our world's pollution
People desperately searching for a resolution
As we set ourselves up for our own execution

I'm a quick study
a fast read
and I can see
this isn't where you want me to be
I care for you
My heart went black and blue
Sore from the bruises you left there
When you promised to share my time and space
Should've known you wouldn't get or contemplate
True love at its best when its staring right at you
Maybe that makes me crazy
for staying..
Quietly anticipating..
That one day when you awake from your nightmare
and see the woman of your dreams...me
Maybe I'm wishing on long lost stars
In this twisted bleak fairytale
I can't tell if its love or a painful deception
Yet I'm still ignoring my powers  of perception
my woman's intuition
Its telling my mind things my heart already knows
Yet im gone on this affliction called love
I can't see with my eyes closed
It must be something
for you are the one i see
with my eyes wide shut
Should've listened to the life lessons taught
When I was told love would truly hurt this much...

I poured my heart into an empty glass
Couldn't look foward
Too busy drinking to loves long past
Broken shards of my heart
Cuts worse than a razors edge
Effects of wrong love
No more is my solemn pledge
Trust is for the unsuspecting
Blind to the consequences of giving all
So hard to gather yourself again
After that painful four letter fall
Every so often you see your reflection
God places your image in another
Faces them in your direction
But myself too ignorant to recognize my image in plain sight
Will forever be alone on this journey
I trusted my mind with what's left since my soul couldnt see what was right
In front of my eyes
I let it go
Yet in still I try
Forever wondering...
Did I miss a chance
To connect my soul with its missing puzzle piece
Alone cursed to wander...freelance
Well let me finish my glass
Empty with sorrow
So I filled it with regret
Drunk on that four letter word
Thought I released the past...
Seems I haven't..just yet

My mind grows tired
My body weak
Just wanna close my eyes
And never open them again
eternal sleep
But I wont rest
That's a feat I can't acheive
Cause my soul is torn
Lost in translation
Started since my day one born
I've searched for answers
But uncovered more questions
Thought I could teach
But Im still learning lessons
This is my confession
I'm not Usher
But I must say
I've gotten older wiser
I can admit I'm afraid
I'm scared
Frightened that my soul will grow old
Alone
Because I've seen heard and felt love
But in my grasp it won't stay
Maybe I'm cursed
with the burden of lonliness
Trapped in my own hell of sorrow
Single tear drop falls as my soul
Fades away...

phone rings
text buzzes
flashing lights from notifications
too late
why bother now
what was once will never be again
just another nameless faceless memory
past and present blurred lines
there is no longer a distinguishing difference
just passing strangers on timelines...

I ran away from sunshine
Into the abyss of darkness
Dances alone in solitude
Drank the bitterness of heartache
Somber tears flow down mascara stained cheeks
How do the insane survive?
For this to me has been normal all along.

Teach me
lead me
which way do I go
highs lows show me what is necessary feed me your will
Let me taste your thoughts
caress your inner most desire
set my soul on fire
gasp as you enter my mentality never on a technicality
imagine we
make poetry in motion
drop down to my knees to give devotion
for you are god in human flesh

Loved a man
Danced countless nights between sheets
Drenched in the sweat from the lust we made
Gave years
Gave life
Took trust
Paid with my soul
I loved this man
Now I don't know who he is
Giving what was once sacred away so freely
Now she and she and her knows my lust
My pleasure my pain my love
And all I have left with him is years....
I've paid enough

I danced with the devil many nights
Spotlight cast on the dancefloor of my empty soul
Many knew I loved him well
Cause I looked beyond​ the flaws
Found beauty in your difference
Yet what hurt me was that you were me
An angel that lost your way...

Tragic beauty you are
Such calm once my spirit intertwines with your mind
But just like a venom you are toxic
Those lies slowly killing what heart I have left
Wishing I could forget the first taste
Although proving to be my last
Sick game of love.

Questions asked
Problems given
Listen
Given the world
Left with space
We all have tongues
But very few acquire taste
Can say hello one million times
But goodbye only once
I see your energy for what it is
Not what it was
Trust the universe and it's timing
Stitching my clouds very own silver lining
Coincidence fate
There is black and white
But we all must deal with certain hues of grey...

Whirlwinds...
Dizzying continuum of bright highs and the darkest of lows
I let go
Only to feel I'm barely holding on again
Sweetest taste of sin
I take you into myself as you **** me slowly
Price is steep
Looking at my receipt
Wondering are you worth the cost
**** it...
You only live once right??
If we are guaranteed death let me enjoy this feeling at least for one more night
As my eyes roll back I take flight
Into space trying to distinguish my rights from my wrongs
hippy tripped out music got my zoned out..
oh wait..its just my phone..ringing
Dreaming again...

I could live in your lap
But I rather reside somewhere deeper
I could live in your mind
But I rather make you feel me some place sweeter
Miss me like you never saw me
Want me like its what you never had
Both graduated with PHDs
Speaking knowledge when those head games are applied
I could submit to my knees
But I need to look into the eyes of the one..
I crave more of you than just fun
Quick nights and games with our tongues
Let the raw truth follow
After one night comes tomorrow
Then those lust filled lies become that much more hard to swallow
So until then..let me hold this lock
With infatuated anticipation hoping
You will insert your key inside my Pandora's Box
Get me off with the thoughts and energy of your touch and actions
Cause contractions inside the walls only you know
But you have yet to let it be known
That your lap is where I call home...

I hate I gave you air
suffocate..
paralyzing
the day will come when you will pay for the wrongs
the reflection of yourself now turns its back to you
has nothing to say
how does it feel

Saturate yourself in me
Get wet from the deepest oceans of my mind
Let your fingers trace the outline of the mark you've made
Impression felt and seen
Rather be a fiend not an addict
Shudders down my spinal column
Your intellect does magic
Lick my thoughts and ******* fantasies
See the sounds I voice
Hear my expressions
Body to body soul to soul
No other choice
But to take me into you
And leave the climatic energy behind
Vibes felt
Memory made.

Craving you
Feel how you grow inside of me
Fingers trace my lips ever so passionately
Deeper you go the weaker I become
Sweet nothings in my ear
**** everything inside
Make me numb
Your melanin against my skin
Squeeze my hips as you go in
Make me forget my name
Scream yours drive me insane
Sweat beads across the small of your back
Legs slip
My body drips
From you...
Yet I awake holding a blanket
And wet dreams of us..

Say those things you say at
3 a.m.
Mean them feel them
You want to get me without getting me
Can you explain why does the sun rise?
Can you explain the moon influence over the tides..
Of the ocean
Not the one I hold between thick thighs
Rooftop conversations
Touching the ****** of my intellect
Bring me to ****** with your thoughts
Let me lick your complexities
Kiss you in the places forbidden to touch
Let's speak of such topics
Before you wish me to hop atop it
Penetrate me without the physicality
Leave my spirit wet from your mentality
Get me to get me...

Floating on melodic notes of memories of you and I
Sip wine and find
That place that look that thought
Caught off guard by the smell of your Cologne
Smile like a school girl when I look at my phone
A call from you
Reassuring kiss to my third eye
No surprise
We're spiritually connected
Energies who found each other
In a hopeless time
Although it's a proven illusion
I knew you before I Knew me
No fantasy
Just realism

I let you see my secrets
Lick my scars
******* wounds
Became a reason for being
A glimmer of hope in a dark room where I stood alone
Unlocked the most vulnerable part of my soul
You held that key
You knew and saw the real me
Yet and still you left...
Became just like the rest if not worse
Dear universe what a curse it is...
Now I have to make a new key...

I hear your feelings
I see your words
There was a time I knew you well
Now we're familiar enemies
Strangers even
I loved you more than the air
More than the blood that creeps in my veins
You were me
Not so long ago
My heart now frozen in time
Lost in this labyrinth
Paralyzed by the thought of loving you again
Just leave me present alone in the past
We have no future

I paced the floors
So long so hard
Until my bare feet bled red
Fingernails scratching at my chest
Trying to claw out this beating thing inside me
My thoughts ran rampant
Over thinking over contemplating
Just over it
All these words mean nothing
Actions show differently

I need you
Fill me let me take you into me
Craving something deeper
Sweeter than this toxic antidote you are giving me
Overdose on those feel good lies
Though here I am walking around full of lifeless nothing
Resuscitated by the very essence you leave on my soul
So fragile this heart of mine has become
Just a regular ******
Love is my drug
You are my dealer
Addicted...

I wanted to be your book
Study my pages hours upon hours
Understand the deeper meaning of my complexities​
Eccentricities
Endless melodies form paragraphs
Upon your mental
Each chapter more challenging
Yet so simple
To get into
For you I opened​ up and turned the pages
Let you wander endless mazes
Thoughts fears laughter tears
Each line was something new
To you
Time was never taken
Rushed through never savored
I wondered...
Why don't you understand?
Why can't you read what's printed
Simple.
You're illiterate.

Went to sleep with the night wrapped me in a dream
Spoke softly in my ear
Told me things I wanted to see
Danced the danced of a million smiles
Perfection truly
Wishes to feel like this forever
But then I awoke
Hello reality
Life isn't always a dream now is it..

Up then down
Sad happy tears of the clown
Laughing at my expense
Hence the stares of ridicule
Judgement sympathy
*** does anyone love me
Like me
Notice me
Hear me
I hear you I hear me
The voices louder this time
No reason or rhyme
Can help me escape
This corner this maze
In a daze but moving fast
How much longer does this thing last
Losing my grip
Even reality is fantasy these days
Starstruck in the dark skies of my eternal despair
Lost faith in living but no one cares
Just be the beautiful tragedy they want you to be
Entertainment on that stage
I'm a bird trapped in a cage
Longing to fly but I have no wings
I see songs in my head but I have no voice to sing them
Dear god where is the lithium?....

I live in the house
even though it aint mine
Eating all this good food
even though its just the *** end parts of what's left of the swine
I wear the best of clothes
even though they wouldn't be fit to clean a floor
I am better than you
I am lighter than you
My complexion will get me through life
I don't have to worry bout the same problems the same strife
As you
I can't help fate made you dark as the midnight skies
Made life nothing but pain heartache struggle
No matter how hard you try
If you could I know you would trade places with me
This light skin opens doors
They dont see me as a threat I'm "safe"
Complacent humble the person they need for you to be
You work your fingers to the bone
Feet raw from exposure to the elements
Time spent
Outside
Sun beating of that dark skin
The scars the wisdom the pain the tears
Shows so much on your sun beaten face
Treated lower than the belly of a flea touching the ground
All because you were born the wrong race
But when I speak up
I'm shut down
There's a look of confusion horror and disgust
They saw my light skin and saw a small piece of themselves but more of you
They instilled self hatred to gain my trust
They made me hate my own
just because my color was different
Even though we are one in the same
Brainwashed us to play this sick game of self loathing
self pity self nothingness
Treating our lives as a game
keeping that separation
You to hate me for the material possessions you blame my skin for
Me to hate you for envying my status i blame your skin for
They dont need to **** us hold us down
We never emancipated ourselves from this prison of self
And no amount of wealth could ever buy
the respect we are due
I am lighter than you
But at the end of that I am you...black

I live in the house
even though it aint mine
Eating all this good food
even though its just the *** end parts of what's left of the swine
I wear the best of clothes
even though they wouldn't be fit to clean a floor
I am better than you
I am lighter than you
My complexion will get me through life
I don't have to worry bout the same problems the same strife
As you
I can't help fate made you dark as the midnight skies
Made life nothing but pain heartache struggle
No matter how hard you try
If you could I know you would trade places with me
This light skin opens doors
They dont see me as a threat I'm "safe"
Complacent humble the person they need for you to be
You work your fingers to the bone
Feet raw from exposure to the elements
Time spent
Outside
Sun beating of that dark skin
The scars the wisdom the pain the tears
Shows so much on your sun beaten face
Treated lower than the belly of a flea touching the ground
All because you were born the wrong race
But when I speak up
I'm shut down
There's a look of confusion horror and disgust
They saw my light skin and saw a small piece of themselves but more of you
They instilled self hatred to gain my trust
They made me hate my own
just because my color was different
Even though we are one in the same
Brainwashed us to play this sick game of self loathing
self pity self nothingness
Treating our lives as a game
keeping that separation
You to hate me for the material possessions you blame my skin for
Me to hate you for envying my status i blame your skin for
They dont need to **** us hold us down
We never emancipated ourselves from this prison of self
And no amount of wealth could ever buy
the respect we are due
I am lighter than you
But at the end of that I am you...black