heavy traffic
so we stash ourselves in the publix parking lot
and watch the flashes of the departing thunderstorm
she lays out on the buicks hood in a bikini top
a bead of sweat kisses her bellybutton
her thick dreadlocks spread like ropes
i pick one up and stick it in her ear
shes not happy with that

afternoon is all sunshine and watered down sodas
isles of plastic goodies and elevator musics
the old woman pushing her empty cart while dragging a bag
she goes to get her nails done
i push pebbles into parking lot puddles
and watch the sky drift in the reflection

she is half my age
she sticks her tongue in my ear
i dont mind
there are palm trees and lizzards everywhere
and pebbles in puddles
im a pebble and shes my puddle
shes all wet
im hard

we laugh in the forever summer sunshine
we dance in the parking lot puddles
of the fiveashes publix lot
and daydream the stars above
this is no ordinary love
this is passion's fire in the hearts eyes
shes my jezebel
im her poet

I think I may have conquered loneliness.
      I don't need anyone at all honestly.
I know at the end of the day I'll still feel miserable whether I'm with someone or not.
That's no ones fault but my own.
And I'm okay with that.
      
    I struggle to wake up in the morning; that'll never change.
No matter how happy I may be,
the idea of getting up and having to coexist with other people is aggravating.

I feel how I feel because I'm finally figuring out who I am.
So I don't need or want the burden of figuring that out for anyone else;
Putting up with life is stressful enough already.