It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

I was
different when you met me,
I had locked the other me away inside her cage
And I know you’d never met her but I’m sure you heard all of the noise she makes
Well, love, she’s out now
And I’m sorry, but she’s broken from her leash
I’ll try to tame her- but please realize
She’s still a part of me

You can tell me you don’t deserve me.
That I’m worth so much more
Than an unfulfilled promise of an indefinite tomorrow.

I could live out one thousand tomorrows with you by my side.

You can insist that you’re not worth it,
But the twin moons in your eyes disagree.
I know how you look at me.
I can see a reflection in myself.

If I could paint,
that brush would sweep across the page
Breathing life into canvas
The crinkle of your eyes
The curve of your lips.

But you better believe that painting
Wouldn’t last any longer
than how long it would take me to forget your face.

You can say that I deserve better,
but I guess I’ll wait forever
Or at least as long as it takes you to come to your senses.