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Dougie Simps Jul 2013
I confess, I'm a victim of my own contradictions
I tell people to open they ears, when I barely ever listen
I rarely speak polite than go and say ask permission
And I'm always indecisive then go and say "make a decision"
I got demons, ones that prey on ya and attempt to cause havoc
Since I could touch the ground, I've been a walking born savage
My overpowering ways make BELIEVE anything I want I should have it.
The hardest part for me is to allow my heart to be free
When I believed I was leader, but leaders never flee
I know ya got questions about this simple message,
I should do better for my brother, stop making him so defensive
Show my two sisters a better man, one who's brave and comprehensive
And shows interest in your meaning so when you speak he is attentive
I apologize to my mama, when I bring you all the drama
And look at you as weak when you really gave me the armor
And showed me all the strength
And how impossible is really blank
And how happiness is more fulfilling than all the money in the bank
Let me talk you too, the person who looks at me as see through.
I'm not a prodigy, I'm a human and sometimes I just want you to ask me "How are thinks dude?" Listen to me and see me for more than just your business mistake...I broke the first car ride but overtime I grew strong. Pain can make you rise from the drops and allow you to handle the pressure and anything else it may take.

Then they ask if you're crazy?
hell yeah, Well, maybe..
Took a few shots to the chest but passion came in and resuscitated me.
I got this vibe, guess we all need a feeling, Maybe it was my angel's touch that finally got me healing...Maybe I'm built for disaster? Maybe I speak upon an forgiven matter? I keep trying to reachout, could it be this short ladder? Picture the moment you thought you found what it is you've been looking for...but how can you live a fulfilled life if you're morally poor?

My dear friends, was really good?
I know I come off misunderstood
I got some things on my chest I need to say if I could
Some of ya come off different, some others a lil distant, at times I don't wanna say stuff to you cause I'm afraid and slightly resistant
I have all the love for you and upmost respect, I just need ya to know the past the past, I have no regrets
I've slightly felt like an outsider and sometimes I will regress
And when I give you my all, it never feels like my best
I haven't been the greatest friend
So lets not play pretend, I apologize for that and hope that we can make amends. Imma stick with you homies from now till the end
This next is to my father, Who taught everything but not...sometimes I see you in my reflection, and wish the nightmares would just stop
One minute ill be cool, triggered, instantly I turn hot
This why I haven't had a relationship since the love of my life, called it quits and put it to a stop...
Too a way I've always been with women, family and friends
22 suicide letters to my angel I have sent
Never thought I applied to rules that's why my mind is all bent
This ignorant thinking, got me shrinking, so imma use confession to finally vent
I say "imma be a star" but doubt it 99 percent...feel I work so hard but barely put in what I get.
Sometimes I sleep on a dream wake up and say it's near, when the truth is I'm a little boy who still hides behind his fears.
I've heard I have so much drive but can barely turn, barely steer.
Crazy how your visual thinking isn't what it appears.

Use to worry about the views and worry about the follows
Now I'm tryna to share dark stories that could make the devil gulp and swallow
Cause the factor of my life is I never played nice
I choose to beat you all down with my temper and spite
I barely know what I do wrong and never see my rights
I love sitting in the dark, my soul is kinda afraid of the light
I'm sorry for my ways, I'm sorry for the older days, I'm sorry that I've changed, I'm sorry for my inconsistent phase
I'm sorry that I've been lost, I'm sorry I labeled all of you as a cost
I'm sorry my heart is an icebox and I pump blood made of frost.
I'm trying to practice what I preach, and learn what I teach.
In sorry to my grandfather I'll make it up to you when we meet.
So I guess it's true, that your experiences are your greatest lessons..I just had to let ya know...
These here are my final words and greatest confessions.

-Dougie simps
They say the truth sets you free...
Haych Mar 2014
Thefloorisvibrating, mythoughtsarefading,
I see greyfogmisty,
like clouds of softpillows glistening,
But it'sshifting.

I want to reachout & touchyourhand
Keephoping that you'llmagicallyappear*
a curve starts forming across myfaceoftiredness...

Ifeel warmthinkingofher.
Thefog seemstobelifting and now there's arayof lightpiercing thegrey'grey'ness...

&Maybe....;
IfIclosemyeyesshe'llfeelcloser,
Maybe...if I block out the vibrations&thenoises;
I can picture a newvisionofher...insteadof envisioningamemory
Not of someangel who seems to glowfromheaven, but thewarmth
of hereyes as shesilentlygazed beyondthesilenceoftheunkown,
Thewayshe'dsay myname and makemefeelwhole.

Thefloorisvibrating, mythoughtsarefading
Isee greyfogmisty, like flufflywhitecloudsofsoftpillows..
but it's shifting.
and I'mthinking...
of you..
andthinking.

Having a fairylikeyou as mybestfriend...
is such a giantgianthippo of a blessing
andbeingyourbestfriend...
isthebestestbestthing...
­*ever.
Wrote this in the backseat of a bus on a cold foggy morning...
Inspired by the weather and my angelfairy bestfriend<3
-H
KD Miller  May 2016
Convalescence
KD Miller May 2016
5/6/2016

     The doctors- they told me, said I was sick. But I told them you were sicker. That it your illness- it's too much. I tap on the wallpaper and hope you understand where i'm coming from. I adjust the tin bars that won't move on the window plates.  I wanted to thank you for coming over to visit me firstly. Secondly- I want you back. I guess directness isn't the best way to someone's heart or maybe it is. I don't know why we parted. You,  you are so sick- a sick little girl, you need a nurse or perhaps some care. I never realized this- I only did now and now i'm locked in this hospital, i've caught it myself. I'm as good as dead now. I am sorry for being such an important part of your life- maybe if I wasn't, it wouldn't hurt to see me like this. Maybe if i wasn't i would stop disturbing you-  leave you alone. But i need you back- I don't  know why we left eachother.

-and why?

            Why not? You don't  remember all the good parts of us? Do you remember how the Blackgum trees in the park  smelled like after a good rain while we walked through them and tried to get a good bench by the reservoir, you know, the one that always smelled like pondweed? I'd told you about how they're called Naiad weeds. I told you what Naiads were. You remind me of one, all pink faced and watery. You were always sort of ephemeral and wavering like water.

-why are you telling me this?

            Because it's you.  You're wavering jumping pondwater  and you're the kittens that old woman who lived near you kept. We used to feed the ones that wandered near your terrace. I thought they smelled bad,  but you said to not say that because it would hurt their feelings.

...

No- please don't touch me.

...

It's as if a corpse touches me when you reachout that hand.

...

Don't touch me! with your fetid finger, your moribund edge. You make me want to cry, you make me want you back with me- mostly you confuse me. How could you have so much respect for life? It was my favorite thing about you. You should've been a ****** Aryika. somewhere, in India. How could you care so much about a life, from a person's to a cat's feelings and even to a little mite's? How could we have sat and listened to Chopin's Mazurkas during that one big hurricane with my old battery powered radio, and how could  you have made me cake when everyone forgot my birthday? How could you? How dare you. How could you have so much respect for every life except your own?
Iris  Nov 2022
He is gone
Iris Nov 2022
Sitting there alone, well not alone he had his pacifier
His swaddle
His tylenol

Cans lined next to his chair, slumped
I look to my father past the addiction and reachout for his love
I used to never see this cushion of his because I was the child

Now I see how numb he is
How lost and unloved he felt

Neglected
He was neglected by everyone he loved
Including me

His family gave him his shovel
And he knew what to do

He dug his grave
And when his family resented him for it he lay down in it
A piece of him dying in that pit

The cloak of adulthood had fallen off him as soon as he turned 18
Becoming an adult made him a child

This poison of family killed him
So he drowned them out
He is gone

— The End —