I feel exposed.
my insides are crumpling up like a stricken peace of paper
it feels like something rotten is crawling from my bones to the skin.
is it my ego deflating, my confidence derailing?
No, it's just one of my depressive moods coming up to say hello
it wants to chat and is unwilling to go
like an unwelcome guest
a nuisance!
obscuring my attentions view
It's begging for notice
Does it have something useful to say?
Maybe I should listen
to the thought that cut so deep
I don’t know.
It could be just another random swing
but i think its more than that
Its my brain telling me i need to think
to do something different
to alter my ways
i need to continue evolving
changing and morphing
adapting the pattern
to fit what is needed.
...
think too much, think too deep
but i want to keep this flame -
to hurt me till i'm heeling
The old me has to die
a new one has to emerge
Birth is a painful process
as we both should already know.