There is only one
thing left for a flower to
do once it has bloomed
fight it or let it happen
even the best can still lose

love... is a mystery
one day you're basking in the joys of a carefree life
then suddenly you cant move or think or breathe
because a single person takes over your entire being

how can one have that much power over something?
what happened to the power of freedom and will?

it feels like a war with yourself
except you don't know if you want to win or lose
you won't know whether you win or lose
because what is the definition of "winning"?
forcing your way into someone's heart and "gaining" their affection?
changing yourself to exceed someone's expectations of a "perfect person"?
but may i ask, is letting go really losing?

all logic aside, sometimes equations just can't be solved, 
no matter how much proof there is
i + i = 2i, but you're still stuck with that,
an imaginary number

and no matter how hard you work to solve the mystery of i,
all your hopes and dreams will be crushed in the end anyway
because some things are just not meant to be
some things are just meant to remain undiscovered
and perhaps if we're lucky,
someone who's destined for it will unravel its mystery, your mystery

just not me

1You gotta lotta nerve to play it clean
You know you gotta play it real
It’s a long life and I’ve already seen
I don’t expect you to know how I feel
You’re insulting my smarts and now he’s gonna lose his spleen

You used to love being with me
Took me a lot of niches to fill you see
I turned away all other *******
To take care of all the hitches

2We’d been in love since we were seventeen
We’d shared class since we could dream
Sharing lunch in the canteen
Putting insects on your shoulders laughing when you’d scream
What went wrong and I had to start wondering where you’d been
You gotta lotta of nerve asking why
I wonder when was it a tie
I haven’t met the guy
Nor should I

3But you force me like I need to be a jealous guy
Like I still need to be your idea of a man
Forcing me till he needs to die
And then situating me hanging from ceiling fan
The last thought imagining you two sharing a whiskey in rye

I thought you’re used to loving me
But sometime I should have made it three
But it’s a marriage decree
That there should be no polygamy

4You gotta lotta nerve asking me
Why we won’t just go for a ménage-a-trois
Why couldn’t you just break up with me
Instead of waiting for me to get home and go woah
But you wanted an idea of me instead of just plain old me

Does he have abs and still love you *****
Or have a flat tummy and has to bend his knee
I don’t care if he loves you
Because he’s in trouble because it’s not a love that’s true

5You needed me
Found me funny and wanted a nuclear family
After all for just a kid we didn’t need to call his granny and granddaddy
But the dream is gone and probably leaving me
I needed us to be three

You’ve gotta lotta nerve stagnating me
Now not anymore I’ve found listless liberty
And so have you only you have got it free
And the divorce the idea of a married me

4We will never share the crimson sky
Understand the meaning of old age together
Spending dusk drinking tea
Understanding the weather
Instead of making it our small talk because it comes free

Don’t miss the idea of feeling young
When feeling old
Only when you’re with a person who has sacrificed to feel the pride of being unsung
That’s the beauty of not being bold

3You used love me when you were seventeen
Now I know the ways you found to talk to me
I was a **** and too bad now to me you were just a teen

2I want to beat that infidel
Who’ll end up just like me but instead he’ll ******

1So you gotta lotta nerve to reminisce times because I wished you would marry me so now I'll wait till I'm forty three

Breathe! Just breathe in!
1it hurts
1i can't
1cant....
1cant think
2why...
1why cant
2i be
1why can't
2i be
3normal
1i think...
2
3im getting bett-
1ouch!
2it hurts
1bre-
1breathe!!!
1breathe,
2 don't panic
3its okay
4 I've got th-
1theyll get me
1who?
1i don't know
1help
1 no
2its okay
3breathe
4dont panic
5colors
6 blue and red make purple
1theyll get me!
1im scared
1i hate myself
1die!
1no, it's.okay
2 blue and yellow
3 green
4every color makes brown
5blue, white and green
6 they make that color you like remember?
7 breathe
8 its okay
9relax your muscles, you cut your arms with your nails again
10 I'm okay... Let's stay this way...