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WickedHope
27/F/Not Boston, Almost Hell    ✝ (also known as WistfulHope) Read, message, or whatever • My work is protected under copyright © • HP member since 8-24-14

Poems

Ember Evanescent Nov 2014
Dear WickedHope,

You are a beautiful shade of exquisite.

I have read you poetry and it saved my wrist many times.

From harm that I would have inflicted.

Your poetry has made me feel less alone.

Your words that you wrote

The words made out of you

The emotions that you sculpted with letters

Have saved me from myself

Many times

And you are so strong

So beautiful inside and out

So deserving of love

And it sounds like you have gotten hurt

A thousand more times

Than anyone could ever deserve

I genuinely admire you

I want to recognize you for your flawless poetry

And your unbelievable strength

Dealing with all that you have

And being brave enough

To wear the mask we all do when we have burdens

To keep secrets you don’t deserve to be forced to keep

I just want you to know

I can’t love you on a personal level

Because I do not know you on a personal level

But I love you as a poet

And I really hope

One day

You learn to love yourself as you deserve to be loved

And someone loves you the way you deserve to be loved

Stay brave and beautiful inside out.

<3



Causing bigger and more severe problems
That spiral outward like my depression
Taking out everyone, everything around me
Except I'm still here, and that's unacceptable
-WickedHope

This scares me. It also shatters my heart. You are so, so incredible. All of your poetry has completely altered my views on many things and been relatable to me and in that way, it is form of healing for me to read your work and find poetic phrases that directly apply to my life and it makes me feel less alone, and I really think you are a spectacular poet and person. There is a literal aching agony in my chest to read these magnificently written yet tragic lines. Please don’t hurt yourself anymore inside or out. Please don’t want to hurt yourself anymore. I am so thankful to you for your poetry.

I pretend to be okay
You pretend that you care
-WickedHope

You are so. So. Strong. To pretend you are okay, no Hollywood actress compares to those who act like they are fine when they really are not. It looks (judging by your poetry) to me that you have had to be an actress far too many times and ACT like you are okay. Well that “YOU” person in your poem may have pretended to care but I really do care. I applaud you for an acting job well done. You are brave to pretend for that long that well. I hope you don’t have to pretend like that anymore because you are wonderful and you deserve wonderful. You worth something. Don’t tell me I’m wrong about this.

But now I know I'm not enough
I'm not enough to deserve love
-WickedHope

You are more than enough. This is a beautiful and poetic line, by the way. Listen, I believe that when you write poetry, that work that you create is more YOU than anything you do, say or how you behave in life. I have read your poetry and you are one of the most deserving of love people I have ever come across. You can’t see how amazing you are.

I'm so fake sometimes
     But this is real
     I love you
     But no one loves me
     Not even I
     I just want to feel loved
     But I probably wouldn't even
     Recognize love
-WickedHope

Such incredible poetry, I am amazed. My soul is crumbling as I read this though. I hate the idea of you feeling unloved. Of you not knowing love. I loathe that idea. But you touched on an important aspect of life. So many of us are so fake, love so much and do not feel loved and do NOT love ourselves, myself included but one day soon, you will find love. You don’t need to recognize it, it just needs to recognize you. And it will.

Why is it we cure pain with pain?
-WickedHope

Because it is the only thing we know and we can’t bring ourselves to look for anything else so we think that further pain can heal us. It never does though, of course. What an insightful thought. You see life through a lens made of poetry. How beautiful. I admire that about you. You are an extraordinary poet.

Dear WickedHope,

You. Are. A. Precious. Perfect. Human. Being. Worthy. Of. Love.
And recognition and you don’t deserve the pain you have suffered depicted in your poetry.

Thank you for writing. It has changed and saved me as a person on many occasions.

~Lots of love~

-Ember
Check out WickedHope's poetry it is phenomenal.
WickedHope Sep 2018
I once felt like words gave me power
Like they gave my quiet shell of a self a leg to stand on
Now I feel like I have none left to speak, to write
I've been drained of verbs and left broken -- immobile
My adjectives fall soft and simple, even the deaf don't pretend to hear
It's strange
Being so far removed from the one you called yourself
I don't know what there is left for me to say
It's like being a young musician on stage
And people have slowly stopped cheering as they realized
You have no more tunes left to play
Yet I've stood frozen, stuck, despite myself
I'm waiting for them to come back
The words
The crowds
The self that I used to know
That I thought I did know
I haven't a clue to where they've left, to where they'll go
But I hope that they find it
The messages they seek
I can no longer provide them
My inkwell bone dry
My spirit missing it's former vibrance, now dully meek
They once called me wicked
I thought it ironically sweet
That for someone so bitter
Many worshiped me
Hiii...
It's been a while, I think, since you all got a nice wordy note from me.

I've been writing poetry for...8? 9? years now... And I've gotta say, I legit cannot tell if I've gotten better or worse. I used to write because I was ****** at life, or violently angry with myself, or if I wanted to do bad things. I don't feel like that anymore. Pretty much never. I've survived some ****, but now (all things considered at least) I'm starting to thrive a bit. When I was at my height of popularity on this site, or at least what my very ****** up and disillusioned perceptions gathered to be the height of it, I was sick. I was having regular dissociative episodes, was severely depressed, engaging in self harm in a variety of forms nearly daily, and very suicidal. If anyone is going through some ****, please seek help, and hold on. I promise it gets better. But yeah. When I was very aggressively using this site as an outlet, I amassed a good sized follower count and trended almost daily. The only poem I ever had make daily poem (which btw was toward the beginning of my worst downward spiral ever) was about hanging myself. Like what the **** lol. But if I helped people -- or even just one someone somewhere -- feel less alone, then I'm glad. But ever since I had started to get better I got less attention here. Which is kinda a weird feeling. I'm not sure if it's cause my writing started to **** or if I got less 'interesting' for lack of a better term, or maybe a mix. Or maybe it's all the changes this site has had over the past 4 years since I joined. Either way, it's weird... I feel like I don't know how to keep writing or improve... Idk, I'm just kinda...
stuck. ...This has been a stream of consciousness.

Anyway, I love you all. And in a special way those of you who have left this world for another. I will never forget you.
Pax,
Wicked