What if i just packed my bags and ran away,
never showed up through the light of day,
This life seems like a paradox we live throughout our own thoguhts,
this world, the touch, the love we see and feel, is it even all real?
One day when i lay through my flower bed,
am i in a matrix of never ending dreams, from horror and love to all things that seem real when i lay my head to sleep?
Dreams are recurring but so is this life, so tell me this now
are we in a dream when we open our eyes, or do we just dream when we close our eyes?
I want to feel love, no pain but pleasure,
I want to seek something more high of a real temptation to live in this world,
but when you're trapped with just your fantasied thoughts,
how can we truly know when to stop?

What are my coping mechanisms?
Rap
Bass blaring
Obnoxiously loud
So loud the people beside me worry about how long I will be able to hear
When all I care about is how well it will be able to drown out my thoguhts
Stop me from thinking about you
Trying so ******* hard to not let my mind drift
Back to what we were
And what we could have became.
I feel stupid for even thinking these things
When I know you have moved on.
Why can’t I delete you from my life too?

-to the boy I think I loved but never had enough courage to say because I was too caught up in protecting my own heart