What are my coping mechanisms?
Rap
Bass blaring
Obnoxiously loud
So loud the people beside me worry about how long I will be able to hear
When all I care about is how well it will be able to drown out my thoguhts
Stop me from thinking about you
Trying so ******* hard to not let my mind drift
Back to what we were
And what we could have became.
I feel stupid for even thinking these things
When I know you have moved on.
Why can’t I delete you from my life too?

-to the boy I think I loved but never had enough courage to say because I was too caught up in protecting my own heart

I only truly understood who you were after I left,
after it was too late to go back
Because I knew,
and I know now,
that I broke your heart
It was petty,
i was selfish,
and I will always be sorry for underestimating you,
for not giving you enough of a chance
That day I didn’t just leave scars on you,
i created some of my own
I’m sorry I didn’t know better,
but thank you for
making
me
better
at
love