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122/M/Seattle
"How things seem to seem is not enough. We must somehow discover how things really seem!" - Bertrand Russell - "Névé'novȯhe'étanóme mȧsėhánééstóva, onésetó'ha'éeta netáhoestovevoo'o, onésėhestóxévétáno …
In my mind
Cry, laugh, enjoy, Sing, dance and drink Forget your worries, Enjoy and read what you want
26/M/Alaska
My thoughts and experiences / My conflicting thoughts and experiences.
Poems
Bintun Nahl 1453 Mar 2015
Untitled
Bintun Nahl 1453
Mar 2015
“ Hari ini ku mati,
Perlahan...
Tubuhku ditutup tanah.
Perlahan...
Semua pergi meninggalkanku...
Masih terdengar jelas langkah² terakhir mereka,
Aku sendirian,
Di tempat gelap yang tak pernah terbayang,
Sendiri,
Menunggu pertanyaan malaikat...
Belahan hati,
Belahan jiwa pun pergi.
Apa lagi sekedar kawan dekat atau orang lain.
Aku bukan siapa-siapa lagi bagi mereka...
Sanak keluarga menangis,
Sangat pedih,
Aku pun demikian,
Tak kalah sedih...
Tetapi aku tetap sendiri,
Di sini, menunggu perhitungan.
Menyesal sudah tak mungkin.
Tobat tak lagi dianggap,
Dan maaf pun tak bakal didengar,
Aku benar-benar harus sendiri...
Ya Allah...
Jika Engkau beri aku 1 lagi kesempatan,
Jika Engkau pinjamkan lagi beberapa hari milik-MU,
Untuk aku perbaiki diriku,
Aku ingin memohon maaf pada mereka...
Yang selama ini telah merasakan dzalimku,
Yang selama ini sengsara karena aku,
Tersakiti karena aku...
Aku akan kembalikan jika ada harta kotor ini yang telah kukumpulkan,
Yang bahkan kumakan,
Ya Allah beri lagi aku beberapa hari milik-Mu,
Untuk berbakti kepada Ayah & Ibu tercinta...
Teringat kata-kata kasar & keras yang menyakitkan hati mereka,
Maafkan aku Ayah & Ibu, mengapa tak kusadari betapa besar kasih sayangmu,
Beri juga ya Allah aku waktu untuk berkumpul dengan keluargaku,
Menyenangkan saudara-saudaraku..
Untuk sungguh-sungguh beramal soleh.
Aku sungguh ingin bersujud dihadapan-Mu lebih lama lagi..
Begitu menyesal diri ini.
Kesenangan yang pernah kuraih dulu,
Tak ada artinya sama sekali...
Mengapa kusia-siakan waktu hidup yang hanya sekali itu...?
Andai aku bisa putar ulang waktu itu...
Aku dimakamkan hari ini,
Dan ketika semua menjadi tak termaafkan,
Dan ketika semua menjadi terlambat,
Dan ketika aku harus sendiri...
Untuk waktu yang tak terbayangkan sampai yaumul hisab & dikumpulkan di Padang Mashar...
Puisi Almarhum "Bang Remy Soetansyah,"
"ANDAI HARI INI AKU DIMAKAMKAN"
DariNya kita datang, kepadaNya kita kembali…
Assalamu’laikum sahabat..
Innalillahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'uun telah kembali ke rahmatullah Olga Syahputra kemarin jum'at sore di Rumah sakit Singapura, Oki turut berduka sedalam2nya, dan do’akan bersama semoga Olga Syahputra di terima iman islamnya dilapangkan kuburnya, di tempatkan di tempat terindah di syurga, keluarga yg di tinggalkan di beri kesabaran..aamiin..al-fatihah..
Bagi kita yg di tinggalnya tentunya bisa jadi pelajaran bahwa maut datang kapan saja tidak bisa kita prediksi , bisa satu tahun lagi, sebulan lagi, satu hari lagi atau sedetik lagi..hidup di dunia ini hanyalah sementara..
Aku dan dunia ibarat orang dalam perjalanan menunggang kendaraan, lalu berteduh di bawah pohon untuk beristirahat dan setelah itu meninggalkannya. (HR. Ibnu Majah)
Rasulullah menyadarkan kepada kita selaku umatnya akan pendeknya waktu hidup di dunia itu, namun waktu yang sangat pendek itu sangat-sangat bermanfaat, sehingga harus diisi dengan hal-hal yang sangat bermanfaat…
Sahabat pesan Olga kepada adiknya, untuk selalu melaksakan ibadah sholat 5 waktu jangan pernah di tinggalkan...selalu berbuat baik....
Perlahan...
Tubuhku ditutup tanah.
Perlahan...
Semua pergi meninggalkanku...
Masih terdengar jelas langkah² terakhir mereka,
Aku sendirian,
Di tempat gelap yang tak pernah terbayang,
Sendiri,
Menunggu pertanyaan malaikat...
Belahan hati,
Belahan jiwa pun pergi.
Apa lagi sekedar kawan dekat atau orang lain.
Aku bukan siapa-siapa lagi bagi mereka...
Sanak keluarga menangis,
Sangat pedih,
Aku pun demikian,
Tak kalah sedih...
Tetapi aku tetap sendiri,
Di sini, menunggu perhitungan.
Menyesal sudah tak mungkin.
Tobat tak lagi dianggap,
Dan maaf pun tak bakal didengar,
Aku benar-benar harus sendiri...
Ya Allah...
Jika Engkau beri aku 1 lagi kesempatan,
Jika Engkau pinjamkan lagi beberapa hari milik-MU,
Untuk aku perbaiki diriku,
Aku ingin memohon maaf pada mereka...
Yang selama ini telah merasakan dzalimku,
Yang selama ini sengsara karena aku,
Tersakiti karena aku...
Aku akan kembalikan jika ada harta kotor ini yang telah kukumpulkan,
Yang bahkan kumakan,
Ya Allah beri lagi aku beberapa hari milik-Mu,
Untuk berbakti kepada Ayah & Ibu tercinta...
Teringat kata-kata kasar & keras yang menyakitkan hati mereka,
Maafkan aku Ayah & Ibu, mengapa tak kusadari betapa besar kasih sayangmu,
Beri juga ya Allah aku waktu untuk berkumpul dengan keluargaku,
Menyenangkan saudara-saudaraku..
Untuk sungguh-sungguh beramal soleh.
Aku sungguh ingin bersujud dihadapan-Mu lebih lama lagi..
Begitu menyesal diri ini.
Kesenangan yang pernah kuraih dulu,
Tak ada artinya sama sekali...
Mengapa kusia-siakan waktu hidup yang hanya sekali itu...?
Andai aku bisa putar ulang waktu itu...
Aku dimakamkan hari ini,
Dan ketika semua menjadi tak termaafkan,
Dan ketika semua menjadi terlambat,
Dan ketika aku harus sendiri...
Untuk waktu yang tak terbayangkan sampai yaumul hisab & dikumpulkan di Padang Mashar...
Puisi Almarhum "Bang Remy Soetansyah,"
"ANDAI HARI INI AKU DIMAKAMKAN"
DariNya kita datang, kepadaNya kita kembali…
Assalamu’laikum sahabat..
Innalillahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji'uun telah kembali ke rahmatullah Olga Syahputra kemarin jum'at sore di Rumah sakit Singapura, Oki turut berduka sedalam2nya, dan do’akan bersama semoga Olga Syahputra di terima iman islamnya dilapangkan kuburnya, di tempatkan di tempat terindah di syurga, keluarga yg di tinggalkan di beri kesabaran..aamiin..al-fatihah..
Bagi kita yg di tinggalnya tentunya bisa jadi pelajaran bahwa maut datang kapan saja tidak bisa kita prediksi , bisa satu tahun lagi, sebulan lagi, satu hari lagi atau sedetik lagi..hidup di dunia ini hanyalah sementara..
Aku dan dunia ibarat orang dalam perjalanan menunggang kendaraan, lalu berteduh di bawah pohon untuk beristirahat dan setelah itu meninggalkannya. (HR. Ibnu Majah)
Rasulullah menyadarkan kepada kita selaku umatnya akan pendeknya waktu hidup di dunia itu, namun waktu yang sangat pendek itu sangat-sangat bermanfaat, sehingga harus diisi dengan hal-hal yang sangat bermanfaat…
Sahabat pesan Olga kepada adiknya, untuk selalu melaksakan ibadah sholat 5 waktu jangan pernah di tinggalkan...selalu berbuat baik....
Nicholas Mercier Coulombe
Mar 2017
imagine a big dragon
Are you doing it?
"ye"
what color is it?
"b-blue and yellow"
Blue and yellow. Cute! Isss it big as godzilla?
"no, it's smaller
likee the size of a horse"
Dats a smol dragon
I like him.
"its not smallllllllllll
a smol dragon would be like, a neck dragon
hes big, just not hugeeeeeee"
Ohhhh okay. He's a big dragon, but not huge.
His teeth are like little point pearls
do you see how shiny they are?
and pink
"why are his teeth pink"
They are pearls.
"but pearls are white"
then his toofers are white.
"gooood
good hygeine"
Mhmm
One of those pearls in his dragon maw
his little baby toofeers
thats you
"why?"
because than you can fly with him everywhere.
Just imagine looking down through his mouth at the cityyy
as he flyyyys
and sitting all nestled in his lip
Blue and yellow leather
He could sing you storiessss and brushes his toofers so his breath would be warm but not stinky
"gooooooooooooooooooood!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhh :3"
"My small tenant" He says to you.
as you crawl out of his gum and walk out onto his tongue.
What is your dragon houses name?
"his name is roxy"
He's making a very silly face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes to talk to you
he sounds silly too
talking with his tongue out
"Welcome Home. "
"i loveeeeee"
Roxy the Blue and yellow Horse sized Dragon House.
"Ready to slide?"
he asks you
"alwayyyyyyyyyyys"
he swallows you
it's very slippery and fun!
like a water slide
And is warm, but not smelly becaus he brushes his teeth
you fly over muscles and liquids and tongue and land on a biiiig trampoline
You can hear Roxy from all around you, quite loud "Having fun, my tennant?"
You are the small size, or a dragons tooth.
"good :3"
"uh oh!" He cries
you see fire from his back
it's zooming towards you!
"nooooooooooo run awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy"
You run up towards his tongue and trip into the sticky icky
The fire is warm and tingles oup your back
then is over
and you standup, the back of your clothes all burnt off and your front all sticky icky
"I'm sorry, tennant"
"I sneezed"
"its oki roxy."
Roxy fashions their tongue like a staircase for you to come back outside
"daddy? Im sleepy... Can we finish the story tomorrow night?"
me too Babygurl. ^^
Yes we can
"yay!!!!!!!"
Good night
"ninighht daddy. sleeeepppppp well.
i love you"
I love you too baby girl ^^
Sweet dreams.
You curl up in roxys empty tooth spot, he covers you in his blanket tongue. it is warm. but not stinky. and you drift soft to sleep
"Good night, Tenant"
"I love you"
"i love you ttooo roxy."
Are you doing it?
"ye"
what color is it?
"b-blue and yellow"
Blue and yellow. Cute! Isss it big as godzilla?
"no, it's smaller
likee the size of a horse"
Dats a smol dragon
I like him.
"its not smallllllllllll
a smol dragon would be like, a neck dragon
hes big, just not hugeeeeeee"
Ohhhh okay. He's a big dragon, but not huge.
His teeth are like little point pearls
do you see how shiny they are?
and pink
"why are his teeth pink"
They are pearls.
"but pearls are white"
then his toofers are white.
"gooood
good hygeine"
Mhmm
One of those pearls in his dragon maw
his little baby toofeers
thats you
"why?"
because than you can fly with him everywhere.
Just imagine looking down through his mouth at the cityyy
as he flyyyys
and sitting all nestled in his lip
Blue and yellow leather
He could sing you storiessss and brushes his toofers so his breath would be warm but not stinky
"gooooooooooooooooooood!
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhh :3"
"My small tenant" He says to you.
as you crawl out of his gum and walk out onto his tongue.
What is your dragon houses name?
"his name is roxy"
He's making a very silly face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes to talk to you
he sounds silly too
talking with his tongue out
"Welcome Home. "
"i loveeeeee"
Roxy the Blue and yellow Horse sized Dragon House.
"Ready to slide?"
he asks you
"alwayyyyyyyyyyys"
he swallows you
it's very slippery and fun!
like a water slide
And is warm, but not smelly becaus he brushes his teeth
you fly over muscles and liquids and tongue and land on a biiiig trampoline
You can hear Roxy from all around you, quite loud "Having fun, my tennant?"
You are the small size, or a dragons tooth.
"good :3"
"uh oh!" He cries
you see fire from his back
it's zooming towards you!
"nooooooooooo run awaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy"
You run up towards his tongue and trip into the sticky icky
The fire is warm and tingles oup your back
then is over
and you standup, the back of your clothes all burnt off and your front all sticky icky
"I'm sorry, tennant"
"I sneezed"
"its oki roxy."
Roxy fashions their tongue like a staircase for you to come back outside
"daddy? Im sleepy... Can we finish the story tomorrow night?"
me too Babygurl. ^^
Yes we can
"yay!!!!!!!"
Good night
"ninighht daddy. sleeeepppppp well.
i love you"
I love you too baby girl ^^
Sweet dreams.
You curl up in roxys empty tooth spot, he covers you in his blanket tongue. it is warm. but not stinky. and you drift soft to sleep
"Good night, Tenant"
"I love you"
"i love you ttooo roxy."
Usurp from quite possibly, the most Adoreable FB Chat
Velvet Elk Dec 2014
Piyak, Niso, Nisto
Velvet Elk
Dec 2014
Piyak
Nipiyakwaskātikawin kiyāpic ce kisākihin
e macāwasisīwi yān ce Penāsin hāw
ninēstomon ninanothacihikwak oki
ni wēsaki mosihtān nipakamistikwanihokawin kanihithoyan
Sepī kinwastēwikamikwa ita mistāpiwak kinakiskawānawak
Nospatahten wēthipāpwi ekā ikēpakitatāmowīn
Nikanistāpāwān awikāchi nēyaw kitasipweyahotew
Nikaaskēthihten nikawi esi mihcicitik tapiskoc āniskawēthikosak
Tapwe kithipan asay pinipakāw
Māka Manitokosisān nitīhihk ayāw
Wētha e - apisīsisīyān ekwa e māthātiseyān. Nikakīpatisin
kiyam āta cmachātisēyān Nipīhkihik tāpisochkona
Namwac nikawihtēn nikapāpwān hāw
Namac nikawihtēn awikāci maciskotehk nikihtotān hāw
Niso
Pesim wapimēw tipiskāwi pesimwa tahtokesikāw
kēhkānakosiwak ācakosak pitowenam awēyak
Nikipahokanwin…Nikāwi
Nitakēhtēn tipistihona pihtokamihk
Pīhcāyik mistikowatihk nikīmocimāton
Nimāmitonithitēn epimmāsāhki ohcikiwāpowina
Nitakimāwak ahkētāp acāhkosak
Peyak mena neso tānihki, tanihki kohci kitimāhiyek
Tepwāsin nohtāwi e-tipiskāk ekwa e-kesikāk
kēmōc namwac kikawīhten
Kāwitha wīhta maciskotihk kikītisahotin
Kasākocihitin Tota kītitān
Nistomitanow nike taketason kihtwān
akehtaso isko kitaponipathik kihtwām
Nisto
Pipon! Titipi konakāw aski
nita okīsikohkān konihk
e-wāskāpit thoskisiw wāsisiw kona
pēyakwan enīmihitochik wāskā
nitosīhtān mistahiwāskahikan - chīstē
okimāskwīsis oma nētha nimistahiwāskahikanihk
namōtha wītha kitimāki nihithāsis
nimithosin ēkwa niwapiskisin tāpiskōch kona
Nikāwi - nikakwātakithawēsin
namotha ninohtē pīmātisin epakwātaman pimatisiwin
mena machihtowin.
Namōtha nohtaw athistiniw itāmihk nasakāhk
Tānthikoh kinwēs ota wihchēkanohk kāwīkipahokaweyān!
Ispē kiwēyāni nikasēkipatwān
Pimātisēyani āhpo nipēyāni, Nikāwi, nikasēkipatwān.
I
I’m here all alone. Do you still love me?
Am I bad? I’m sorry. Come get me. Please.
I cry and cry and cry, the big ones tease.
I hurt. She hits my head when I speak Cree.
In screaming bath houses we face giants.
I inhale black water with each blue breath.
Will I drown or float softly into death?
I miss you nimama in this city of ants.
All too slow the seasons change, the leaves go.
But now Jesus Christ lives inside my heart.
Since I’m a little, ugly girl. Not Smart.
Although, I’m bad He makes me white as snow.
I promise I won’t tell. I promise. Please.
And I won’t tell or I’ll go to hell. Please.
II
The fast sun tags the moon day after day.
Under bright stars echoing footsteps come
Inside the bad room I call for you nimama
I counted the steps along the hallway.
I stay in a box, in silence I cry
Shiny tear drop bubbles float in my mind
Beneath and behind sad stars, I count blind.
One plus one is two. Why? Why hurt me? Why?
Call me dear Father by night and by day.
And this is our secret, you will not tell.
Now don’t tell. I can send you straight to hell.
I’m bigger than you. You do what I say.
I can count to thirty over again
Count until it’s over, over again.
III
Winter has come! Snow has covered the world.
I’m a little snow angel that glimmers
In spirals, fluffy, shiny snow shimmers
See the dancing snow flakes around me twirl.
I made a castle. Look what I can do!
I’m the princess of my own snow castle.
No filthy little Indian rascal.
I am a pretty and white snow flake too.
Nimama, my chest crackles hot fiery red rage
How can I live when I hate life and sin?
Where there’s no less human in my skin.
How long will I stink and rot in this cage!?
And when I leave here I will wear my braids.
Forever Nimama I will wear my braids.
* Nimama * Plains Cree for Mom or Mother
#Cree Translation by B. Charles
Nipiyakwaskātikawin kiyāpic ce kisākihin
e macāwasisīwi yān ce Penāsin hāw
ninēstomon ninanothacihikwak oki
ni wēsaki mosihtān nipakamistikwanihokawin kanihithoyan
Sepī kinwastēwikamikwa ita mistāpiwak kinakiskawānawak
Nospatahten wēthipāpwi ekā ikēpakitatāmowīn
Nikanistāpāwān awikāchi nēyaw kitasipweyahotew
Nikaaskēthihten nikawi esi mihcicitik tapiskoc āniskawēthikosak
Tapwe kithipan asay pinipakāw
Māka Manitokosisān nitīhihk ayāw
Wētha e - apisīsisīyān ekwa e māthātiseyān. Nikakīpatisin
kiyam āta cmachātisēyān Nipīhkihik tāpisochkona
Namwac nikawihtēn nikapāpwān hāw
Namac nikawihtēn awikāci maciskotehk nikihtotān hāw
Niso
Pesim wapimēw tipiskāwi pesimwa tahtokesikāw
kēhkānakosiwak ācakosak pitowenam awēyak
Nikipahokanwin…Nikāwi
Nitakēhtēn tipistihona pihtokamihk
Pīhcāyik mistikowatihk nikīmocimāton
Nimāmitonithitēn epimmāsāhki ohcikiwāpowina
Nitakimāwak ahkētāp acāhkosak
Peyak mena neso tānihki, tanihki kohci kitimāhiyek
Tepwāsin nohtāwi e-tipiskāk ekwa e-kesikāk
kēmōc namwac kikawīhten
Kāwitha wīhta maciskotihk kikītisahotin
Kasākocihitin Tota kītitān
Nistomitanow nike taketason kihtwān
akehtaso isko kitaponipathik kihtwām
Nisto
Pipon! Titipi konakāw aski
nita okīsikohkān konihk
e-wāskāpit thoskisiw wāsisiw kona
pēyakwan enīmihitochik wāskā
nitosīhtān mistahiwāskahikan - chīstē
okimāskwīsis oma nētha nimistahiwāskahikanihk
namōtha wītha kitimāki nihithāsis
nimithosin ēkwa niwapiskisin tāpiskōch kona
Nikāwi - nikakwātakithawēsin
namotha ninohtē pīmātisin epakwātaman pimatisiwin
mena machihtowin.
Namōtha nohtaw athistiniw itāmihk nasakāhk
Tānthikoh kinwēs ota wihchēkanohk kāwīkipahokaweyān!
Ispē kiwēyāni nikasēkipatwān
Pimātisēyani āhpo nipēyāni, Nikāwi, nikasēkipatwān.
I
I’m here all alone. Do you still love me?
Am I bad? I’m sorry. Come get me. Please.
I cry and cry and cry, the big ones tease.
I hurt. She hits my head when I speak Cree.
In screaming bath houses we face giants.
I inhale black water with each blue breath.
Will I drown or float softly into death?
I miss you nimama in this city of ants.
All too slow the seasons change, the leaves go.
But now Jesus Christ lives inside my heart.
Since I’m a little, ugly girl. Not Smart.
Although, I’m bad He makes me white as snow.
I promise I won’t tell. I promise. Please.
And I won’t tell or I’ll go to hell. Please.
II
The fast sun tags the moon day after day.
Under bright stars echoing footsteps come
Inside the bad room I call for you nimama
I counted the steps along the hallway.
I stay in a box, in silence I cry
Shiny tear drop bubbles float in my mind
Beneath and behind sad stars, I count blind.
One plus one is two. Why? Why hurt me? Why?
Call me dear Father by night and by day.
And this is our secret, you will not tell.
Now don’t tell. I can send you straight to hell.
I’m bigger than you. You do what I say.
I can count to thirty over again
Count until it’s over, over again.
III
Winter has come! Snow has covered the world.
I’m a little snow angel that glimmers
In spirals, fluffy, shiny snow shimmers
See the dancing snow flakes around me twirl.
I made a castle. Look what I can do!
I’m the princess of my own snow castle.
No filthy little Indian rascal.
I am a pretty and white snow flake too.
Nimama, my chest crackles hot fiery red rage
How can I live when I hate life and sin?
Where there’s no less human in my skin.
How long will I stink and rot in this cage!?
And when I leave here I will wear my braids.
Forever Nimama I will wear my braids.
* Nimama * Plains Cree for Mom or Mother
#Cree Translation by B. Charles