We are together still, but
Like a disjointed door
We have a hinge hanging on
And one on the floor

You did not complete me, you destroyed me.

You did not help me, you watched me struggle.

You did not trust me, you doubted me.

You did not believe in me, you broke me down.

You did not hold me, you pushed me away.

You did not care for me, you put up with me.

You did not love me, you lusted after me.

There's good days
and bad days
one day the world is sunny
but the next on my shoulders

I can laugh and smile and enjoy the day
be with my friends and feel good
ignore my flaws
smile, not cry

but when I am alone
the sadness drowns me
the pain engulfs me
the mirror pains me
the tears escape me

There's good times
and bad times
I've felt sad for so long
but I can still smile
I hold on to that.

It terrifies me
How easy it is to live without you.
That's the real reason
I try so hard to keep you close.
It doesn't make sense to me that this love
Could cool so.
That's why I cling.
That's why I panic.
That's why
I try
So hard.
I can't let you forget me
But worse
The worst
I can't let me
Forget you.
You left.
You left and it mattered.
You left and I grew without you
I learned without you
I became
Without you.
You left.
And although I fear that
Fear you
What I am... so much more afraid of
Is this:
Last year
You taught me
That you are
Unnecessary.
And I didn't want to know.

I am always the first to cave in an argument
Like a burning building
With a collapsing ceiling
I fall all at once
The fire is too hot
The smoke is too thick to see my own side

What is it that I want?
What is it that I need?
I'm so used to hearing answers from you
But what about me?

I hate asking questions to myself
Because I don't know the answers to my own dilemmas
I had better begin searching in the corners of rooms,
On postage stamps that are on their journey to foreign lands,
Or in the pages of my old diaries

What did I think I was going to be like?
What did I want?
Maybe that way I can help myself find
What I do want

I always wanted to be stronger
A force to be reckoned with
Instead I cringe whenever I am yelled at
And let others have their way

So maybe now is the time
To be the girl I always wanted to be
Because former me
Would want me to want to be herself