so many once here
have now disappeared
long gone into the white

rambled and veered
on to paths unclear
faded from all sight

their bark was their bite
but this dark toothless blight
has quickly 'come revered

so we write
that we might be a light tonight
in lieu of the disappeared

Looking upwards towards the heavens,
Hoping to see a shooting star,
Nostalgic moments flashed across my mind,
Of you who were living away so far;

We had moments once upon a time,
And many stars we shared together,
Till our destinies decided otherwise,
And then -
you were gone forever.

You wanted me to be independent
Taught me skills to survive
Gave me wisdom beyond my years

But when I finally break free
Your talons of the past dig in
Refusing to accept
That I have moved on

"Be a good daughter"
"Bite your tongue"
"Resepct your elders"

Each day I master the fake smiles
No one the wiser of my pain
And then you stay

Unknowingly forcing me to keep my one act play
Going on through out the night
Finally realizing

That what you yell and scream
"Not spending time with family"
Is what I always done

Hide away the pain and misery
Play the part of a happy family

Now your upset
Lash out
Just because I got free of the talons from the past

Some daughter I've become
The one holding the world
The one that everyone depends on
The one barely holding on
And all you care to see

Is all my flaws of my past
And not what I have done
Unless it makes you look good

what hurts the most
is the unbearable duplicity of it all.
i wonder how long you were going to pretend
once you'd changed your mind,
once i'd become too difficult for you to adore;
i guess developing a personality
outside of your own thoughts
was a huge turn-off.
you must've hoped that love had done a better job
at clouding my judgement right before that last fight.
well, self-awareness truly is a double-edged sword;
i found myself but i lost
the last ounce of compassion
towards your ever so unimaginative lies.
now that it's time to reap the fruits of our labour
every bite gets stuck like a lump inside my throat.
but darling, just so you know,
what hurt me the most
was the unbearable duplicity of it all.

All the bitterness and sorrow from my heart,
And await a beloved,
To light a candle in my darkness.
10/6/2024

Hate.
The one thing we are told never to have.
And yet, sometimes it becomes our only protection.

I don’t know, I don’t care,
if you’re going to the party
or you won’t be there

I don’t give you a thought
you’re not on my mind
and if I ever think of you
I’m not very kind

Now that you’re gone
I’m feeling better
Now that you’re gone
I’ll feel that way forever

I laugh when I hear,
that you’re under pressure
or under the weather -
the last one is better

Look, I’m not irate -
and I haven’t any doubts
- you were like a bad taste,
that I had to spit out.

You proved a consternation,
a mistake on my part,
thanks again, LUzer
I actually learned a lot
.
.
a song for this:
Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter