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 May 2020 S Olson
JaxSpade
She sent her picture on purpose
She knew I'd stare at it
And worship

She was always
An angel in my eyes
Even though she wasn't
She tried to be perfect

She said a few lies
When she sent a picture of her thighs
No lie
They were open

Wide

Was her smile
She sent it with sparkles
In those filters I like
Man I wish I could trust her lies

I know she's an angel
But not from heaven above

She sent me her picture
So I could reminisce
About when I used to be with her

Staring at her face
I remember how I used to kiss her
And rub against her texture

The way she smells
Feels
Melts
At certain temperatures

I remember that right spot
And the way she shakes
When I make her erupt

I know how much is enough
When we make love

She sent me this picture
So I would remember
How I used to eater
And lick her

She was always
My babydoll
In the midnight
When I would
Call her over
For a time
To remember

How we used to picture
Love
 May 2020 S Olson
Acme
I still remember your naked *******
   and the smell of my hand in your jeans
   and youth's innocence lost. You were old
   beyond your years. You tamed my beast.
You wanted me to be your first.
I was lost to you in the sunlight.
 May 2020 S Olson
Hennessy 5260
So you pull my heart strings
To and fro
Like a swing set
Sweet coated lies

Meaningless apologies
Handkerchief to my tears
Manipulate me
Like a puppet

I'm a slave to these emotions
Trick me to believe
These red flags
are just false alarms
 May 2020 S Olson
Jayne E
panic
 May 2020 S Olson
Jayne E
Waking up
panic rising
like bile
choking me
without you near
black dots fuse
together as fear
turning on all the lights
checking rooms
in the dead of night
pulse racing
heart thumping
there's no erasing
it
every sound has me
jumping
focus focus focus
on my breath
in

count

out

repress the urge
to scream and shout
as panic surge
after surge
holds me tight
in its grip
relentless
like a bad acid trip
feeling out of control
the seams tear and rip
counting hours til dawn
never felt so alone
lost in nights chasmic yawn
all I can do is
rock rock rock
try keep it tight
on lock
ride it out
knowing
what it's all about
doesn't mean
I can fix it though
some things
you cannot unknow
just hanging on
til first rays
of morning sun
some things
just can't be undone

© J.C.
panic attacks, memories, trauma, fear, aloneness...
 May 2020 S Olson
Unpolished Ink
You cannot possess a soul

Force it into chains

Crush a spirit and take what
remains

Make a slave

Own it from the cradle to the grave

You can use cruel ties

But you cannot bind

Freedom of the mind

Original thought

Cannot be bought
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