I need to let it go
But how can I
It MADE me who I am
Its the past
Its my past
But I wont let it ruin my future

It ruined my present already
Why did it happen to me
What did I do to deserve this
Its the past
Sadly it cant be forgotten
I will never forgive

Its my life
Its the past
My unholy past
My unforgiving past
Its the past
And i dont want to remember anymore

Clear my memory
Just end my life
This past is haunting
Like the demons in my dreams
Someone help me let go of the past
Because i wont be able to let go

It made me
It kept me alive
Its the past
That saved me
That ruined me
The part of me you will never know

Is it paralyzed by fear
Is it petrified by the thought of me
Is it the not so reliable men before me
Is it the fact you can't comprehend how much I love you
Is it the way I go about all of this
Is it the questions you ponder
Is it the answers you wonder
Is it because I'm not good enough
Is it because it's too good to be true
It's your heart that's a question
You're truly a mystery
I'm not an investigator
I'm not a love detective
I can't read the clues
I can't piece together the evidence
You're a suspect in a crime
That I'm afraid to convict you of
Yet my cover is blown
You see the truth to who I am
My hearts very existence
Lay before you in ruins
Maybe it's the ghosts you're afraid of
The voices whispering that echo louder
Your hearts a question
Every emotion boiling inside you
Is it the fear of being brought to life
By a man you barely know
I promise I'm not trying to make you a Frankenstein monster
If you don't want this tell me
Before I ***** the bolts in my neck any further
Pull the lever to be electrified into existence
I'm not asking you to be my Frankenstein bride
Just the amazing woman who's not scared of all these scars
All these stitches in my heart
All the missing pieces of my insanity
I'm sorry I can't comprehend the evidence
That maybe I'm going about this all wrong
So maybe I'll black out the details
Try to make a new case
When this time I'm the victim
Because your heart was the unanswerable question
Taking my thoughts and suffocating my heart
And I'm sorry if this poem seems cruel
But I'm fighting myself more than ever
Trying to understand why I'm so madly in love with you
Yet that answer is obvious
Clear as crystal horizons
But I'm so oblivious to it
You're simply you
A Mystery that can never be solved

My lies would spew
Through every tooth each wall will bear
The games I played with death
Would only send my parents into cardiac arrest
Woman's names would dance of its tongue
As they echo each moan
I made louder with each ******
How the hell would any one know
That I'm not crazy but ludicrous
Idiotic in the definition
If these walls could talk
It would be a crime to live anymore
Jailhouses would open every cell
Every hound whispering the secrets
I once buried under three coats of white
He's a murderer
He's an addict
He's obsessed with his scars
They should have given him the chair
But these walls hold their tongues
Because I'm the only friend they have
Till the new owners come to town
Which might be never
Because no woman seems to want
This hearty home everyone deems
A fixer upper

Chasing seagulls shadows
As the breeze slithered through my hair
It was love at first sight
Sunsets tracing rainbows on the murky waters
The sea truly is a mystery
But the love I feel is even more of a mystery
I can still hear the roaring of the surf
Tides coming in slowly
Full moon tonight
Softer breeze and a lot less noise
No children laugh
Parents yelling to stay away from the jellyfish
Just silence
The perfect love affair
It was love at first sight
When the sea breeze kissed me
The salty water wrapped its arms around me
The sun setting fire to Pacific blue water
Moonlight chasing dolphins as they fly through the air
Stars reflecting off the rippling water
It was truly a love affair set in motion at first sight
Now I dare you to fall in love

The walls are closing in
Breathing is is is is imposible
Stuttering on almost every word
Trying to rush what I have to say
It was never meant to end like this
I was suppose to be the one in the coffin
You were to be at home asleep
Exhausted from running
From boulder tears rolling down your cheeks
Instead I'm locked in here
In the asylum of my own thoughts
Wondering every possible way
Of how it ended with us both
Hanging from a tree
Holding hands with a corpse
I'm still han...wait I can feel it
I'm slipping away into your arms

It wasnt enough for you
To say you hated me
You had to reach into my chest
Pick out the pieces of my heart
And let them bleed at my feet

It wasnt enough for you
To say you never loved me
You had to take the remnants of my sanity
Break it into tiny pieces
To the point you couldnt break it further

It wasnt enough for you
To walk out that door
Saying "*******" on the way out
Giving me the finger
And telling me to **** myself

It wasnt enough for you
Everytime I layed in puddles for you
Everytime I wrapped myself around your pinky
And pleased you better then any other man before me
But you wanted something I couldnt give

It wasnt enough for you
You just had to comeback
****** because you realized
You really did love me
You really found yourself missing my llove and affection

It wasnt enough for you
That you couldnt comprehend
That I got over you and moved on
So you had to pull out the pistol
The very one I gave you for your birthday

It wasnt enough for you
To watch my new girlfriend plead for her life
But blow her brains out all over the walls
Screaming and crying "Why did you do that?"
Knowing already the reason I moved on

It wasnt enough for you
That you decided to end your life
Right here in front of me
But not before you took a shot at me
Knowing I would die not long after you

You knew I still loved you
But you wouldnt listen to me
You just continued to wave that gun around
It wasnt enough for you
That you made sure our last moments were with each other

It wasn't just you
With intelligence that rocked a body
Holding mistletoe hair stands
It was those Come Kiss Me lips
Heaven Reaching eyes
God please hear my prayer cheeks
With rose pedals dancing on them
Baby It wasn't just you I fell in love with
It was every metaphor you made my heart sing
You make poems blossom like hurricanes
Baby if I could spend my common sense on you
My Sixth Sense would be priceless to every collector
Baby it wasn't just you
It was only you, all of you
That made me want you in the first place

Migrating thoughts
Traveling back home for the winter
Where the weathers warmer
My life went south
When my head went north
I gained a better job
At the price of love
I bought in
While selling out
So without further ado
Ill finish heading south
To farthest reaches of hell
Bask in the flames of ignorance
******* the demons that once haunted me

Fat
Ugly
*******
Psychopathic
Demonic
Tormented
Angry
Hateful
Di­ck
*******
*****
*****
Insane
Emo
*****
****-for-brains
The list goes on
But I want to get to the point
The worse thing I've ever been called
Is your son
I don't look nothing like you
I have none of your traits
Your blood no longer runs through my veins
Your blood ran out
With the ***** I took
You belong in sewers
In rotting graves
On the vacated porches
Of hidden houses
Deep in the forests of emptiness
Just for the soul purpose of being lost
The same feeling I felt when I was able to comprehend
Exactly how pained I have became
Due to your abandonment

Paper!
One 8x10 piece of paper
Declaring I'm...insane?
No that can't be
Doctor your diagnoses is mistaken
I'm not insane
Just sick, twisted, and demented
All you want is for pills
To be shoved down my throat
Thinking that's the only thing
That can save the remnants of my sanity
It's Not Candy!
I don't want them
Blue pills Yellow pills even Red?
How many pills must I take
Before I can finally say
I've never been happier to see...you.
The only tablet I haven't been prescribed
The only drug that can help me

My talents as a poet
As a master of my sanity
Have began to fade away
My freedom to write
Moving powerful emotional pieces
Has deteriorated before my eyes
I've calmed the monster
To ease my grandmothers fears
Of losing her only successful grandchild
I've silenced the voices
To ease my deceased great grandmothers worry
That I'll join her in the heavens of my fathers memories
I've noticed I'm now nothing
Just the average joe
Watching Netflix and eating popcorn
Listening to music dreaming of being something
I've noticed
You read my work
Watched me perform
Understood the hatred I feel
Felt the pain I've endured so long
Grasped the love I once expressed
Yet now you're only looking for those things again
Looking for the long poems I once enjoyed writing
The ones that erupted with passion
For all things I thought of
Five minute poems
One night stands with lines
****** paper with pen
As I forced it to swallow the inky ***
I've always wanted to write my last and final poem
To finally be free of my insanity
And embrace the story of peace and solitude
But in this world those are just mirages
Boiling from the hallucination of my desert mind
I've noticed
I truly am just Robert Guerrero
The guy who dreamed impossible dreams
Only because his talent dried up

I walked ten thousand miles
In the many years
I've joined hands with my insanity
Walked hand in hand
Like shadows and feet
Grasping a new perspective on the instance
That reality is just a fictional world
We lose ourselves in
Where is the real you?
Is that truly you in the mirror
Or the reflection of the world
Taken it's tole on your weary bones
Fragile shapes bearly holding a grin
I've walked so many beaten paths
Beaten so many paths
Bean beaten by paths
Yet still find myself walking
Down the only path
Covered by thorns and barbed wire
One way in no way out
It's the path we all walk unknowingly
The path of our own troublesome sanity

This is the only thing came to mind
I wanted to capture your essence
But my system is flawed
I can't hold you
You're too far away
I can't kiss you
You're hiding the smile
That always beckoned me too
I guess the only thing that really matters
Is that you're on my mind
In my dreams that seem not to come
Daydreaming is the only way I can be with you
I love you
I hope you like this
Maybe one day we'll be happy together

I want to kiss the heavens
I want to know what it's like to be pure
I want to feel the tender lips
Of a midnight embrace
I want to feel a sense of sanctuary
But when I open my eyes to this reality
Nothing left is pure
Everything tainted with the rattling of imprisoning chains
I want to kiss the heavens
Lay down in a bed of rose pedal tears
Just fade away
Slip deep into my fantasy
Lock myself away
Hide from this daunting misery
No longer being victimized by the memories
The all too real nightmares
I want to kiss the heavens
I want to know what it's like to be pure
Before it's too late

I want to turn back the hands of time
****** the founding fathers of pain
Let her dream dreams the induce diabetes
Remove the scars that never fade
Mend the brokeness in every heart
I just dont want to see her feel pain
Or see the tears in her eyes
She is too young for this
How do you expect her to survive
In a world intent on killing her
I want to turn back the hands of time
****** the founding fathers of heartbreak
To keep her alive
To keep her head up high
And look at the world
In an optimistic way
I am tired of her tears
The constant fear
That she will amount to nothing
She wonders if she is enough
She hopes for a friend
With outstretched arms of comfort
With shoulders soft but strong
So she can find sanctuary and solace
I want to turn back the hands of time
****** the founding fathers of hope
Because every night she hopes
That in the morning her sorrow will be gone
She hopes for that knight in shining armor
To take her far beyond the castle walls
To break the shackles of poverty
Guide her into the land of the prosperity
Heal the wounds that still bleed
Her hopes are what **** her everyday
Does no one care
Can anyone but me see
That her pain, her broken heart, her hopes
Have been slowly killing her
For quite some time now
Somebody help her
Somebody save her
I cant do it
I am not strong enough
No prince charming
Im just trying to find a way
To turn back the hands of time
And ****** the founding fathers
Of everything that has been the reason
She contemplates suicide every night
Because I love her
Not romantically
But in a way not many could understand

I want you to rid me
From vacant dreams you fight at night
I want you to curse my name
Forsake me into the deepest parts of hell
Its what I deserve
So give to me all that I want
You never allowed me the chance
Of obtaining what I truly wanted with you
Maybe I over shot it
But darling I want you hate me
Hate me like Christians hate Satan
Hate me like water hates rock
I want you to hate me
Because honestly I no longer care
I only have one purpose
And that's to fend for myself
In a world filled with wolves and vipers
So hate me
I know that's the only thing you can give me
The only thing I truly want now
Is your hate piercing through the void
Within my chest and reach my heart

i was everything to her
i was her immortal guard
i was the demon at arms
i was her worst nightmare
i was the wind in her hair

i was the monster of legend
i was the man without a face
i was the shadow in the corner
i was the reason for the tears on her pillow
i was the reason she pulled the trigger

i was worhtless
i was broken and bruised
i was the killer of her sanity
i was just another voice
i was the one who took everything

i was wreckless and selfish
i was weak and scared
i was her savior from her pain
i was her shoulder to lean on
now i am laid to rest
buried with her blood on my hands

You act as if I meant to do it
I remember when you called
I just had a beer
Fell asleep in the recliner
Couldn't hear who it was and hung up
You called back
******* me out for 5 seconds
But quickly turned to joy
I knew you were great
I never lied
I do love you
Why do you think I wrote a farewell letter
I wasn't good enough for you and never will be
I'm the **** of the earth
A heathen picking up crumbs
I remember that call
I remember I sat on the hood of my truck
Asked you to be my valentines
Because we both didn't have one
I wrote you a poem even though it wasn't my best
I tried to convince myself
The greatest lie I ever told myself
Was that maybe we could work
Maybe I did find that special someone
That missing puzzle piece
To this jumbled up brain
I'll say it over and over
Even when you refuse to listen
Hey, I really do miss you
I'll always love you
No matter how many times you say I'm lying

I will not brown nose my way
Through this already ******* on life
I will not bow down to anything
Pretending your toes are the altar of god
I will not fight wars not meant to be started
Thinking I'll survive this eventually
I will not suffocate on the fumes of your corruption
Swimming on the hopes for one more breath
You think I'll live on my knees
But I'd rather die hanging from my neck
I will not justify your injustice
Cowarding under the glares of undignified politicians
I'd rather live fighting
Than die beaten
No it's said right
Because I'm not dying till I won

Take my life
Fall from the heavens
End this pain
Twinkle twinkle little star
I wished upon you
For this life to end
But you saw the pain
Gave me moonlight
Brighter than shining gold
More precious than oceans of silver
I wished upon a star
Your star
And you gave me a better life
Even though the pain is there
I still have her to love
And I thank you
You granted me a wish
I didn't wish

Kissing you for the first time
Holding your hand
Walking down the road
Or driving to your favorite restraunt
I wish I had those memories
Where there's an us
I wish there was a memory of love
Romance woven, our fingers intertwined
I wish I had those memories
But they'll never happen
I live too far
Your heart a barracade
A mountain fortress
Maybe one day the treasure
Residing within with no longer be held prisoner
Considered cursed
Corrupting all who seek to possess it
I wish I had those memories
Taking journeys creating adventures
Just me and you like it always should have been

I fell so deep
Waited patiently for rock bottom
Overdosed on love
And tumbled down
Limp and lifeless

I wish it never happened
I wish I never met you
But thier wishes
I made on a shooting star
Wishes that will never come true

I tried to be a friend
I tried to push down
The raging torrent of passionate love
So it could work
But my attempts were futile

I wish it never happened
I truly do
But still I cant help but say
I love you
Even as this love I want dead

You can cry waterfalls
But I will wish
And wish
Upon every falling star
That it never happened

You broke me
When others could not
I wanted nothing from you
But a love I knew was true
And someone who understood me

I close my eyes
Recollect on all my past relationships
I see all the pain
I see you in my arms
I know I have a deep love for you
Yet we are not together
I can kiss you
I can hold you
We love each other
In a way not many people would understand
But My Love I want you to know this
I wish you would of been my first
My first love
My first time
My first relationship
My first and last
Because with you
Everything feels so perfect

Why I love the moon
Why the eerie lullaby
Lures me to sleep
Why I am terrified of my dreams
The hollow glares of ruby eyes
Carved into my very eyelids
Why am I so afraid of me
These hands of desolate crimes
Blood stained from her tears
I wonder...
Why I am the villain in this
No happy ending fairy tale
Why don't I get a happy ending
I wonder...
Will you cleanse my soul
If I lived life on my knees
Clasped my hands together
Every night at my bedside
Giving you a round of applause
As I talk to you
As if you exist
Begging with you
Pleading for a perfect ending
I wonder...
What do I have to do
For a happily ever after

This young lady
I have no recollection of her name
So let's just call her Mystery Girl
She's having fun
Playing with my heart
Opening it up and reading it like a book
Seriously she's been reading nonstop
I think she's slightly insane
Has to be by now
Reading every poem from my heart
Anytime now I might have to start charging a fee
For every poem she reads
Lol
Thank you Mystery Girl
Hope you've had your fill
Come back again
When your hungry for something to do

All I have ever been to you
Is the person that made you smile
Made you laugh when you were down
I could mold you into so many shapes
Paint you in so many colors
Yet I remained a jester in your empire
I was always afraid of being beheaded
Or exiled from this land
Of golden roads paved smoothly
Castle walls built higher than mountains
Where tears haven't once left their mark
This land has never seen war
Not one conflict has come to light
Yet my love for you
Always keeps me personally close
To always hear you when you call
I'm a jester in your empire
The only one I think
So why haven't you beheaded me
Or exiled me from this place
That is your heart
When I have caused a million problems
Brought a thousand undesired tears
Yet I remain your jester
I was once your King
And you were once my Queen
I built these castle walls
I paved these roads
I made this empire from the broken pieces of nothing
You left me when I made our love
Seem almost like a fairytale
And you got scared and made me your jester
Stripped me of my crown
Replaced it with a foule-bordeau
I hope your happy now
Maybe this is where I belong
Just wish I could sleep in that bed with you
Listen to our favorite song
And I could make you smile and laugh
All night long and well into the early hours of tomorrow
Yet I know my place as a jester in your empire

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That's all I heard when my heart shattered and you left

The one thing I wish to do
Is burden myself
With the pain of others
Rid this wretched world of it
Letting it die with me
Just a dream I guess
Something I thought
As I watched
The pain grow
And graves being dug
Something I thought
As I read another poets poem
Just a dream I guess
Yet I don't want it to be a dream
But a reality
I wish to someday come true

Placing this blade on my wrist
I don't plan on going deep
Just deep enough to reach
The not so beautiful treasure
I'm the Black Beard on these open wrist
Vast currents of blood
Flowing all too quickly
I'm going just a little deeper
To see what's all down there
Past the ruined shipwreck veins
Just a little deeper
D
  E
    E
      P
        E
          R
Deeper, still not deep enough
Curiosity dragging me even further under
I can't stop anymore
The ecstasy relief is better than a high
But how do I clean up the mess I made
I'm too weak
Lost too much blood
I still don't regret going
Just a little deeper

I lost a homie today
Caught in the chest twice
These ******* will pay
Yet once it's all over
I took who ever did this
Rip their life away
Both families finally stop crying
It'll be just another life society will forget
******* lives I've lived
Always seem to result in the taking of a life
So I'll say my condolences
Attend the funeral
The same way I attended his wedding
With a tear in my eye
And a bottle of Jacks in my hand
To drink to the good times
To forget the bad times

Her name is faint
Still sends chills down my back
Makes me want to cry
When I remember everything I done to her
Made her feel like she wasn't anybody important
Lost her in my own heart
Forgot to call her
Couldn't face the music
I knew her notes were already written
No love letter
No symphony left behind
Just another whisper on the wind
Left to echo in the desert kingdom of my heart
She was perfect
I was the idiot
I let her drift away
But I guess sand is never meant to stay in one place
When those tides rolled in
She floated away
I only drowned
I know where I went wrong
I can't ever take it back
She's resting her smile on the chest of another
I'm dropping pebbles in the puddles of my own blood
To keep myself from seeing the man I became
The one always wondering if she'll ever love me again
I'm just another whisper in the crowds of her friends
While she's the only whisper in the wind
Echoing in the desert kingdom of my heart
I'm the fool who never listened to her thunderous tears
Stampeding across the land
Never heard the trumpets when she wrote me goodbye
Only saw the world spin
Watched as my castle crumbled
The evacuation sirens blaring
But when I kingdom falls so does the king
This is where I leave you all
Left to my own sorrow
Built walls 24ft thick
With each sandstorm
The walls only collect scratches
While my kingdom gains scars
Forgotten in the sands of time
That whisper on the wind in the desert kingdom of my heart
Became the only friend I ever had
Soon I'll watch as my darkness
Devours it along with my corpse

A shadow cloaked in mystery
Sometimes lives longer than the sea

I say goodbye
I say farewell
I say **** It
Just for now
This is my last poem


I'M ON VACATION

(225)-244-0791
Just in case of an emergency
Here is my number
Call me anytime I'll pick up for you
I'll be the suicide hotline
Family problems hotline
Anything hotline for you
Just call me
I'll be your 911
I don't want to lose you
I love you too much
So just in case
You have my number

Smoking on this blunt
Sitting on the edge of the roof
No longer the runt
Drinking and toking like a goof
Guess my rhyming skills are rusty
But just listen to the world
These old work pants dusty
Every mind swirled
Just listen as the smoke fills the air
Man this **** must be laced
Or the alcohol makes me no longer care
I wonder if my fall could be traced
To all these lonely nights
Wondering if you're ok
Just listen to the blue lights
Too late at the end of my day

I'd like to wake up
Without dread in my mentality
No worries as the hours tick by
Will today be for the diary
Or skipped pages
Lost into memory
Filed deep behind vault doors
Just once would be nice
A decent vehicle
I don't have to kick
In the tail pipe just to start
A bed my own
Fool I became
Auctioning it off for heartache
Just once would be nice
To not feel like I was dropped
Nine too many times as an infant
Replacing blondes with handicap stickers
As I keep trying to be an epic human
Maybe a match and kerosene
Scrub brush and bleach
I can start all over
On a cleaner slate
Just once is all I'm asking
One opportunity to just say *******
To everyone I don't know
Stop trying to be a friend to a stranger
When strangers keep daggers
Strapped to every ankle
Waiting for your back to turn
Just once
Please God one time
I'll do it right
I'll erase past mistakes
And finally enjoy happiness my way

Life is like a puzzle
Scattered all over the floor
Tossed aside and dumped on
No puzzle piece falls the same way
Like snowflakes are never the same
Every puzzle just a little easier
When you understand the picture
Trying to be portrayed
But what if it was just a blank puzzle
Each piece painted after it was put together
My life puzzle isn't complex
Just not sure where the pieces go
Mother abandonment issues
Father hardly even one
Family quick to disown
Friends committing suicide
Everybody leaving me in different ways
**** what piece is next to be placed
Guess the puzzling chaptered pieces
Just fall the way they want to

Hey...
My friend just gave me a penny
For these thoughts
That run childishly through treacherous corridors
Of unknown and unseen horrors
These thoughts are the thoughts
Of holding you in my arms
Of kissing lips of heaven touching ecstasy
Of reaching every perfectly sculpted curve
Of just simply being your man
Just thinking of you
That's all anybody needs to know
I'm laying in bed
After a stressful day
I'm just thinking of you
You know I'm tired of loving
So I'm done
I'm tired of giving pieces of my heart away
So if I have to go back in my past
Find every ex lover
Ask for the pieces of my heart back
Fine
I only want to love you
Just thinking of you
Made my mind clear
You're the only one for me
This heart is yours
I'll glue the pieces back together
Don't worry I'll still survive
As long as you love me in return
Because I'm putting everything on the line
Just for you
Because all my mind wants to think about
Is your sweet voice calling my name
Hey...
I was thinking about you today
Still am as a matter of fact
You've been there ever since I woke up
I don't know how long this will take
But hear me out
I know it might be hard to love me
I know you have a hard time
Realizing what I see in you
So I'll tell you
You accepted me as a man
As the monster I became
Smiled when I said "good morning"
Blushed when I said "I wanna date you"
See baby it's the little things
That make me love you
That want me to make this decision final
Just thinking of you today
I swore it was a dream
Hey...
I love you
I don't know why anymore
But I know it's the right decision
Because I'm tired of loving
Woman who can't reciprocate
This awkward emotion of petty games
And I know you love me
For the way I make you happy
Hey...
We're friends that's it
But guess what?
You probably already know this
If you paid attention
To every word I wrote
I love you ;)
Happy Birthday
Merry X-Mas
Feliz día de San Valentín
It's the only gift I could give
I hope you like it
I know it ain't much

I'll find the courage to do it
Stop being a ***** and finally do it
Quit ******* about my ****** life
Hiding when things get rough
Just get ****** and throw a temper tantrum
Just this once
I'd like to find it in me
To say **** it and die
**** myself and just let it end
I constantly torment myself
With thoughts of you and hopes
That maybe it could work out
But what the **** am I thinking
It would all just be easier
If I was a ******* man about it
Poured me one last shot of jack
And chased this last I LOVE YOU
Out with a 12 gauge
Maybe then you'll understand
I ******* meant it when I said it

Baby you shouldn't be walking
When alligators are around
You said you almost fell in with them
When I told you where I wanted
To place my lips on your heavenly figure
Your knees grew weak
With every Word I speak
So stray away from the alligators
No snakes, monkeys, or rhinoes
Nothing is allowed to have till I do
I want to call dibbs on those legs
I want kiss your exotic lips
Feel the rush of your wild skin
Close to mine in the comfort of our bed
Baby I like you
You like me
We've established this
And everyday is my birthday
When I'm thinking of you
You're the wallpaper on my phone
The first thing I see when I wake up
The last thing I'm touching in my dreams
Baby call this what you will
But I like making your knees weak
With every word I speak
So if you fall
Fall into my loving arms
In this bed of endless adventures
Here's those kissy faces you love so much
:****
****:

This eruption is devastating
Worst than I thought possible
The volcanic ash
Blocking the sun from view
The temperture just dropped 8 degrees
It feels like Krakatoa all over again
Different in the sense
That its not lava spewing from the walls
Its poetry
Its not Krakatoa
Its me that's erupting
I hate this burning sensation
Quite a shame really
Because I can't write everything down
As fast as it pours from me
It all becomes cold in the end anyway
Because I will be forgotten
Its Krakatoa all over again
Because I doubt you even know
What the hell I'm talking about
Or even understand the metaphor
That I am using
Its Krakatoa all over again
Soon you will find
Parts of me in countries
Such as Australia
And off the coast of Islands
Such as Easter Islands or The Canary Islands
Krakatoa all over but this volcano
Is erupting with something
Less devastating than lava
And words that can't reach far enough

It beeps and beeps
Letting me know I'm still alive
Heart pounding strong
Walking up hills and down valleys
Straight lines every now and again
I wonder if you can hear me
The silence of my tongue
Pulsating on the heart monitor
Trying to reassure you that I'll pull through
Beep...beep....beep
Its kind of funny
Robotics copying the sound of my heart
A hollow frame of metallic plating
With scared thoughts hiding on every pulse
I wonder what would happen
If I awoke from this vegetated state
And hugged you
If my brain would function again
And form a three word phrase
But the way the heart monitor is
Shows how slow my heart beats
Shows the seconds I no longer have with you
One more beep
I'll keep it going
Hoping to see your face once more
Hoping I can see joy fall from your eyes
I can't keep going
I hear you reading poems
Talking to both our parents
Trying to find peace as your world fades
I'm sorry I wasn't stronger
To keep myself alive longer
Maybe I can tell you I love you
With the way this heart monitor beats
Let me die, let it beat thrice, let you know
I'll be by your side
Even if there is no afterlife
But dying with your hand in mine
Is a better way then how the paramedics found me

I want to lay in bed with you
No thoughts of ***
Racing through my body
But the only thought
I'll allow tonight
Is the thought of holding you
Under every moonlit lullaby
And let stars watch with full smiles
As they witness my love for you grow
I don't care what the world has I say
I'd rather you call me your teddy bear
Than they'll know I'm not in it for the ***
The royal treatment is for you
And this late night cuddle session
Is only the beginning
Because tonight I'm going to show you
That even with my weakness
I'll protect you through the night
I'll be your dream catcher
Your luck rabbits foot
And chase away the worries of tomorrow
I'll cuddle concrete
I'll cuddle rose pedals
But nothing in this world
Could ever amount to the roaring passion
I can ever feel
When its your heart and soul I cuddle with
Your my yesterday
My every day tomorrow
And the last thing I want to embrace
When I fall asleep thinking of you
This late night cuddle session
Isn't over because I'll hold you
Till the moon and sun decide to collide
I love you like teddy bears love cuddling
And theirs nothing this teddy bear loves more
Than loving you

I'll follow lost
Desperately without hesitation
I need the escape
I'll leave behind
A heart strung out
Addicted to her
She who will never
Grasp the depth of my love
Lead me away
Whether to my death
Or far enough
She'll never bless
Another of my senses
This black hole energy
Keeps me orbiting
False hopes I derive
From delusional fantasies
Lead me away
Let me abandon a heart
I'm forced to endure
I've made my enemy
I can't take anymore
Akephalos
Come forth
Release me from my eternal prison
Lead me away
To a realm exceeding
This plane of existence
Where I can bury
These confines of mortality
That plague me
Lead me away
Lead me away
I can't face her
Knowing I love her
To the ends that I do
Knowing I'm a puppet
To an emotion
Steadily destroying me
Lead me away
Before I carry myself away

All that you can
Risk risk risk reward
Study diligently
Laugh
Shake the pain
Every lesson is embroidered with
Take heed the old wives tale
Analyze, scour every word
What does it mean
What is implied
What can be implemented
How will you achieve
That vision of you
Your reflection knows
Without first learning
What it takes to be the best you

Oh yeah I forgot
You don't have a voicemail
Only way you'll talk to me
Is if I text you and wait almost 6 hours
Just for a reply to say hi
Well I wanted to see how things were going
Like *** it's fabulous on my end
Understand the sarcasm and annoyance
In the tone of my voice
You stupid *******
I'll leave a message on your face
When my nuts are covering it
After I get done beating the **** out of you
You're suppose to be the person I can talk to
Yet you're always frowning
I'll leave a message at the...
Oh **** I'm calling myself

When the pen runs dry
My legacy won't be
On pixelated paper
But a sticky note reading
I-O-U
While I hoist Davey Jones colours
Indebted to you I'll forever be
Because you gave me a reason to smile
When the universe rejected me

I've walked the beaten path
Sinned in the ways of every religion
But the only salvation I'm looking for
Is in the smiles I'm able to place on your face
So when you read my text
Listen to the way I'm telling you I like you
Listen to the message in the complex smiles
The kissy faces
That seem to be endless
You can't call this puppy love
This is the way you were meant to be loved
So baby let me make you happy
I'm not asking for the physicality of a relationship
I'm asking to put this band on your finger
Look in the mirror
See my complete reflection
Because this mirror is your eyes
Baby let me make happy
There's nothing I'd rather do
Honestly you're on my mind
I've only talked to you on occasion
I don't don't want to send coded messages
In the texts that make you smile and want me
I want to tell you straight up
Baby I like you
I'm not innocent
I'm not expecting you to be
I'm just asking you to be mine
Let me make you happy the only way I know
Let me be the sculptor
Plaster smiles on your frowning face
Strip the clothes from your mannequin figure
Let me make you happy
In and out of the bed
I'm only asking for a chance
Baby let me make you happy
I promise you'll never be alone
Even if I'm seventeen hours away
My heart is in the pillow you hold tight
My cologne is in the sheets you wrap yourself in
You can even wear my clothes
Go insane and let me walk in
On you making out with a pillow dressed like me
I'll smile and I promise
I'll love you the way that pillow never could
Let me make you happy
The way the other guys failed to
When they ******* up the chance you blessed them with
I promise baby
I'll never hurt you
My shoes are in the closet
They're not going anywhere
My suitcases are unpacked and laying in the dump
Three states away
The distance you wanted in the first place
Between me and my second love
You know I had a tendency of packing up
Leaving in the middle of the night
When your slumbering hand wandered on my side of the bed
Looking for the warmth of my skin
But Baby I promise my walking days are over
My running shoes are too old
They don't fit anymore
Let me make you happy the way you deserve
I understand if you don't want to do it
I'm not going to cliche it up
I'm not going to beg
I'm just going to tell you
I like you
Ask you for only one thing in this relationship
Let me make you happy
It's not much but let me make it my sole purpose in life
I don't need a god or gods and goddesses
All I need is the heart in your chest
To be my altar
To be where I tithe my sins away
To give praise to the heart that saved me
Let me make you happy
I'm not a complete ****** like the rest of them

No gloves or referee
Just a blank alley we can paint legally
With the vibrant colors of each others face
Dumpsters we can play in
2x4's with each others names
Let's fight
**** rules and regulations
Last man standing walks away
Beaten down but standing tall
Loser can sail away in his puddle of blood
Violence is on my mind
And you rung the bell
When you decided to play cat and mouse
With the fragile heart she carries
Along with the burdens of yesterday
Let's fight
No ******* or money involved
I need no pistol or grenade
My shotgun stare will carry you
To the explosion of my fist
Repeatedly rocking each side of your face
Bring an army
Be a *****
Bring a mirror
You're reflection will need surgery
Let's fight
Riddle stitches on each others face
I don't care who wins
I'm taking back the smile you stole
Ripping out the heart you digested
And I'll crawl back to her with them

It's even more obvious now
How little I hold of your heart
Even more so your mind
Even though I know
The distractions you face
I honestly don't know why
I even care as much now
As I did back then
We've had these conversations
So many times
Less and less we've showed affection
Why is it you still have a grip on me
It's not like you want me
Or even have a place in your life
For me and the path I've chosen
When it's in the opposite direction
You want to travel
I've given up so many times
Still held hope
Useless as it was and is
I can't seem to chase it
That fantasy of love anymore
No one compares to you
The standards you set
Some came close
Yet failed me
When I failed to show emotion
The very ones I've vaulted
Locked away and melted the key
Destroyed all traces of the code
I don't want to feel anymore
Always hopeless attempts
Failure on both sides
Why is it my life my heart
Is devoted so hard to you
I'll davy jones this *****
If I had the mystical powers to
Cast aside all humanity
Sail the in-between
Bury opposition in watery graves
I'm sick from my heart
Rotting my mind
Infected with depression
Knowing expectations are never met
And all I want is to feel
As if I'm worth saving from myself
By the hands of someone
Who genuinely loves me
Beyond a shadow of a doubt