Started with a fight
Forgot about what
I only remember screaming
Fingers scratching at my head
Clawing trying to find them
Growing louder with every pull
My hair thinning quicker
Its happening all over again
I'm fading into another episode
The demons pleading to show their faces
I'm chasing the needle once more
Begging for that high
Praying for the pilot to turn the motors
I want a piece of it again
Taste the sky on my lips
Run the milky way on my fingertips
Its happening all over again
I'm losing who I am
Stranger in my mirror
What have I become
Eyes sinking in
Playing xylophone on my ribs
I'm moving but standing still
Lost touch with my dear friend reality
Are you a dragon or a tree
Could you be a clown or my boss
Do you wish to eat me or kiss me
I can feel it crawling under my skin
The high growing stronger
The looser this band gets
Candles burning stirring my thirst
Veins twitching prisoners to my own body
Tortured by these invisible beings
Its an invasion
Dropping corpses in every pulse
Instinct to run gone
I'm alone in this world
Maybe another 15CCs
Will bring me home to my wife and kids

They dont tell me anything
I can't say sorry enough either
Sorry that I let you into my head
I let you change who I was
Thinking I could be a better man for you
Here I am states away trying to figure out
What I'll do for the next few years
Without you in my arms
Will it always be questions
Scaring the **** out of me
Knowing at any second I could lose you
I'm scared to even tell you I love you
I can't prove it
I can't express it
I'm sorry you fell for me
Hopefully we can work this out

Your moans turn concrete to paper
These walls no longer sustains them
They only grow louder
Your thighs placed tightly together
As if to hide something from me
The bandit of unknown treasures
Shhh..keep quiet
Keep very still
I think your looking for this rabbit
To jump into bed with you
Honey, jackrabbits' ****
Like me and you on Sunday morning
I'll take you to church
Between these silk sheets
Make you sin ten thousand ways
So every syllable of the lords name
Wont be used in vain
You can feel it
The grip of my hands
Tracing a canvas of innocence
With outlines of chaos
Let go, taste freedom
The freedom of *******
And sweaty moans knocking
On paper walls
Shhhh they'll hear us
I can't control it
My lips ever so softly
Trying to find the best part of your body
From lips to neck
Shoulders, chest, and stomach
Hips, thighs, and retreat
Clothes no longer an issue
Im free to lick wherever I please
****** to bellybutton
Perhaps a little lower
Im sorry I'm such a tease
Maybe I'll just satisfy you now
I tug at your hair
A quick little play of it on the back of your neck
A smack on your ***
As we pretend we're animals for the night
Dogs or horses
Either way I'll teach you
How a real man
Pleases the woman he loves

You act as if I'm not scared
Only explanation I gave myself
Was that you met someone better
Someone closer
I grew so paranoid
Loved ones didn't know who I was
Why couldn't you just say it
Tell me how you felt
And don't say because I didn't do it
I didn't want to open up
And my explanation be true
Yet how am I supposed to think otherwise
When I'm a mere distraction
Something so small in your life
You look over me
Even when you're looking dead at me
You know you're on my mind
A million ways before Sunday
Yet somehow I feel
I'll never be on yours
I know the distance is killing us
But fear is why your losing me
And I'm losing all I need

Remnants of how it used to
Fresh flowers still blooming
There couldn't have a been a better time
I smiled and forgot what it was like to be insane
I had love, joy, and peace
A worlds dream
Bundled in the gleam of your eyes
When cheesy lines
Carried countless passengers
Between cellular service
These scars bleed again
Because questions befell me
How does one explain
To ones many minds why you disappeared
I couldn't put a finger on it
So I called for a self destruction
Initiated after you couldn't talk to me
About how I felt
How you feel
Am I supposed to just lay on my back
Play puppy while my hearts being stomped on
By invisible feet
I don't want to play games
"I miss you"
You shouldn't miss me
I wasn't there
I was just another voice in the background
Waiting for my turn to talk to you
I titled this decaying
I'll tell you why
My loving, caring side is decomposing
You hung it out to rot
And still refuse to give it the life
It so desperately needs
That lays on your breath
Formed by your lips