She was born of a forest
And rests her heart  
Shallow in pooled dreams
Dripping further than her tears
Falling to soft earth.

She eats rosed lilies
And pickled cattails
All while
Her footsteps leave no absence known
As her lithe nymph body melts into foliage.

And her arms permanently reach
Into the void of
All unknowable things.
Grasping at gossamer threads,
Like thoughts that can't be spun together.

stars and radio master
intercloud motion—1000 light
years in most directions. However,
I am still blind to anything
but you. This

dark matter aloha steps
off my mind’s plane
into the muggy air. A string
of flowers is placed around
my neck, and I look up—
starbursts
spit their rings violent and
central—your body
in music. Now, tropical
space—population

one. A tear rolls down
my face onto the
runway—I can’t remember
the sound of

your voice.

Right now, I feel lifeless,
I feel empty,
I feel beyond,
I feel like everything and nothing are both happening at all times of the day, every day, all the time,
I am just trying my best to keep my head above the water,
"Just go with it", "It's okay", "It's nothing"
I cannot go with it, it is not okay, and you're right,
It's nothing,
I keep telling myself it's nothing until "It's nothing" is the only thought that runs through my head,
I can't leave my bed,
I haven't showered since Mother's Day,
Mother, I'm sorry,
I haven't eaten a full meal in God knows how long,
God, if you're out there, I do not curse you, but what have I done to deserve this,
What have any of us done to deserve this,
The feeling of rather wanting to be dead than alive in and of itself is a tragedy,
I haven't felt human in a long time and tragically, I wouldn't care much if I just stopped breathing

Keep me close, keep me close, keep my head above water,
I need to hear your voice,
I can't do this on my own

Just keep breathing,
Just keep breathing,
Just keep breathing

It's your turn, let me light another cigarette before you give me a third flush, I'll need another shot of whiskey if I'm gonna let you keep cheating me,
He said, "Alright boy, enough is enough. When are you gonna let me take you?" I told him "Soon."

I've done drugs in the past, burn so good, gone too fast,
Happiness never lasts,
Just a splash,
Up and down and up and down I'm getting whiplash,
Dug deep into the ground,
Pulled up flowers with a frown,
Beauty is a disaster, this world is on fire, I'll always let myself down,
Drunken stupor through the city,
Bleeding wreckless, broken teeth, my lungs are brown,
I will let myself drown

I AM CASANOVA TO THESE ANGELS,
I AM WRECKLESS IN MY INTENTIONS,
THE GOOD DIE YOUNG AND THE BAD WILL LIVE FOREVER,
TO THE END OF MY ROPE, I WILL SUFFER

To the ends of the earth, I will take her,
And I will ruin everything good in her, yet I do not want to,
I have not chosen to be like this,
The shadows wreak of liquor and depression,
And they will follow me home every single night,
And they will fall into bed with me,
And they will tell me everything I need to hear

Whisper sweet nothings into my ears,
TELL ME WHAT YOUR WORST FEARS ARE, I BET THEY LOOK A LOT LIKE MINE,
TELL ME WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO NOT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP SOME NIGHTS

I am lucid,
Lasting,
Plastic and carefree,
Nothing but smoke and mirrors to the ones who are after me,
I gave my hand to the him,
He said "Walk with me. I'll show you everything."

I don't wanna ******* hear about it,
Stop trying to get your **** wet,
She doesn't want you, I figured you'd realize that when she told you to stop; that she was uncomfortable,
What made you think she was just being stubborn,
What made you think the only thing in the world she wanted was to have *** with you,
Why are you like this

Women are not just toys,
Women do not want your **** as much as you think they do,
Women especially do not want your **** when all you can say when you're around them is jokes implying that you want to **** them,
Why the **** do you think you're entitled to their bodies,
They are angels and you are the devil,
Please, for the love of God, give it up

It makes me sick to think that you're sick enough to think you have a right as a man to act this way,
That because you have a ******* for a woman, that it's completely okay to force yourself,
That it's completely okay to act filthy,
That it's completely okay to joke about,
That it's completely okay to be the biggest ******* on this planet

Our sisters are being taken by our brothers and we are not doing anything to stop it,
Our diamonds are being stolen by thieves, and all we are doing is slapping their wrists,
Why can't we stand up and stop this


Why does a woman have to feel afraid to stand up for herself,
Why does a woman have to fight what seems like an endless battle for a right to her own ******* body,
Why do we stick up for rapists,
Why do we call women *****,
Why do we congratulate men for using women,
Why do we stand for this

We are doing this to ourselves,
We will learn eventually,
Or maybe not,
We reap what we sow

Stop leaving me here to kiss the ghost of my better self
Why are you messing up again and again

spread my blood on your walls with the hands that once held my heart so delicately

I think I've become the thing that you saw in your nightmares tearing you limb from limb

you've only made me feel like I'm drowning in the dark ocean rather than burning in your light

the last time I saw you, you looked so happy

I'm so sorry for pushing you all away but is it saving myself from being hurt or is it just my selfishness

I don't know how to handle the tears that seep through my clothes anymore because they're making me freeze

I'm sick of everyone saying that things will be okay because there's a few months of good until you get **** on again

I don't exist anymore to you
And definitely not to them

For some reason that I don't think I will ever understand, they built a house inside me and then lit it aflame just to see me burn

Do I understand why they lied?
No
Will I ever?
No

I'm sorry but it may not seem like it but I was giving you my all but I guess that just wasn't good enough because you were running away like wolves

And to be honest I don't even think that it's still you that I'm missing, just something that burns cigarette holes in my heart once again

it's always been my dream to be empty but now that I am I don't feel content

Everything that I am doing now is not what I imagined to be doing 2 months ago

I've drank so much to forget your ways
This feeling of wanting you comes but never stays

I miss the dark side of my emotions because at least then I had a reason to be upset because this feeling in my chest is suffocating

I am not sad
I am not mad
I am not glad

This is an existence that is rotting into my skin
Writing down all of this does not help ease the pain

Imaginary friend
I am conjuring you up in my head because all of my friends left me for dead

I've written 15 poems in the past 3 days and I hated them all so much I had to force myself to post something, anything.

So here it is
Over the past week. I've realized a few things
1. I hate you
2. I hate myself
3. I miss you
4. I hate the fact that I'm Okay with you not being here.
5. I miss you

Everything in my head struggles to mimic any type of coherence and I'm left staring out the window wishing this house would catch on fire.

Here's some more stuff
1. Some people exist only to hurt you
2. Friends can be enemies too
3. You're a ******* narcissistic lier

Sometimes I wish your house would catch on fire and I'm left here staring out the window

Okay let me spill my emotions on you for a second

I have been thinking a lot about you lately
Not even in a bad way
Or any way really I just am thinking
I wish that you injected me with poison
I wish you had turned my eyes black from the plack that caked your heart

I wish to be something entirely different than the images that flash through your brain when you type my name
This is the heaviest of sighs because I don't know what this is feeling like
I look at the night sky and my head spins
The stars turn to smear of bright light
I am chord less on the guitar of the life that you live

You are not what you eat unless you are eating me
Without the bottom of the barrel, there would be no top
Without the worst, how can you be the best

I am a centipede
Crawl under your skin until your itching to get me out
I can only see you in my dreams until I wake up and it gets turn away
I am sitting here with all my friends so I hope you're not well
Take that spell and give it to a person that gives you hell

Don't give it to a boy that wants to show you the world
You are a serpent from the ocean of hopelessness and liquor
Take that pen and stick it to her

I am not the enemy that you wish I was
I only gave you the love that you deserved
The fact that you didn't recognize it is on you
You lost my respect
You lost my friendship
You sold me out as a devil when I was born a saint

You've been fooling yourself into thinking it was better
Don't get me wrong I thought that too but lucky for me I've got people who will show me what true love is

I've been much better without you

I am an artist
Love me
Touch me
Romanticize me
Let me live underneath your skin and tell you all about what happens down there,
I can write it better than you ever felt it, I promise
Believe me,
Trust me,
Let me eat your sorrow and spit it back onto a page, sacrifice yourself at my altar and live forever at the tip of a pen,
There is beauty in this somewhere
There is music in my ears,
I can hear the people sing my praise,
It sounds like,
"Oh I love him, but he's bleeding,
Oh I love him, and he's bleeding,
Oh I love him because he's bleeding,
Oh we love him, he's always bleeding,
Bleed for me, bleed for us, we love to watch you bleed,
Bleed yourself dry *******,
Do not stop to clean your wounds, keep em comin, pour some salt on it *****,
We came here to watch you BLEED *******!"
I will take what I can get
This is all I know
I will let it all drain on to this stage
I will watch my demons form pools around my feet, while my sins float lighter than air away from my body
I will suffer here and they will know why,
Because I will tell them,
And they will love me for it,
And when I die on this stage,
It will be to thunderous applause.

You might as well just burn me with that magnifying glass
I'm better off dead than being searched for, or at least that's what my skeletons have told me
What do they know though, they're just piles of ash
However, everything that was once made of fire and brimstone is now ash, so it does make me wonder

The sun rays cascade into a quiet valley, not a soul in sight
I am a house built between two hills, or for lack of a better term, between a rock and a hard place
The lights are on but no one is home
If someone were to go looking, they'd find me inside the caves of my mind
Bar fights, fist fights, blood all along the lines
My head is a rather filthy place to stop by
I'd stay away if I were you

However, you aren't the first, and you most definitely won't be the last
I may be a wreck, but this is only a little bump in the road
Once it's my turn to go, I'll never stop again
The gasoline I've been filled with will drive me for years
You left and I've been a little twisted ever since
What else can a broken man do besides cope the best he knows how

I wish you'd come back so I could beat the **** out of you for what you've done to me
Let's be honest here though
We both know I wouldn't touch you
Not because I would be scared to
Mostly because acid rots flesh and your skin is more acidic than your personality ever could be

I wish I could bury you and dig you back up again
Maybe that way you'd know what it feels like to be covered in dirt that you can't get out of
If history repeats itself then I guess I'll learn to roll in my grave
Nothing's funny, I just want you to know how it feels to have someone turn their back on you

A hundred years from now I'll be nothing but a pile of ashes
You know what they say though
Everything that was once made of fire and brimstone is now ash
My youth was a raging wildfire that didn't stop for anyone
You weren't the first and most definitely won't be the last