seeing you is different. its

cold, impersonal. my skin feels the way it feels when i leave my fort in the morning, skin stung with unfamiliar air. i dont go out by choice anymore. i want to be the girl in the pictures, eyelashes fluttering and bangs caught in the artificial wind, glowing. he said i look like her but i just dont see it, im stringy, detached, like a third grade picasso. no one can hold that, can kiss that, can care for that. your eyes on mine feel calculated and i dont know what to say anymore. neither do you. what happened?

you enthralled me; put me in a trance,
all the buried feelings slowly start to dance.
you seeped in to my heart, a seed of love sown,
bursting forth like a flower that grew on a stone.

with you, every second feels like heaven is near.
your radiance dissipates every demon i fear.
you are the wind that lifts me high,
taking me to a place where peacefulness lies.

though you may not know it, it's you i behold;
my hidden desires for you, i wish to unfold.
a heartbeat without you is like endless night,
for you saved me from darkness; you are my light.

how could this be, i'll never understand,
every moment without you is like counting sand.
though at this very moment, we are never one,
i'm waiting for the day when your heart is won.

Everything
returns to normal
the broken things
break again
and the elegant ball room
is once more just a ruin
if only the music never stopped.