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I was born twice
On the same date of the same month
With just a gap of forty years
First accidentally and then chose to

Twelfth in the count,
Not a meticulous plan; it just happened
"More the merrier, give wind its wings"
Said the rain soaked August night

When I was born first
I could not choose the date or time
Neither what to bring on or take away
It just happened, with a resounding cry

First, I was born into a house
As a son, with a mom and a papa
As a brother with sisters and brothers
Everyone felt happy and shared sweets

Then, without a death or a reincarnation
I took another birth after those forty years
I chose the same date to birth,
Control+Alt+Delete, the keys functioned

Then, I was born out of the house
Without a mom and a dad
Without a brother or a sister
Without joy or even a cry
Got your wire asking me to meet;
The wire that travelled rounds to reach me
Weeks or even months to reach me
After all that while you waited me going
From where I have now traversed abound

Years didn't know what months held within
Months didn't listen to day's throbbing
But we boarded the same space and time
It wasn't crowded with any ‘other ones’
Why didn't you meet me then, me around?
Why didn't you meet me there, me waiting?

Silly or serious, the moments we digressed
You turned your back and switched me off
Making up, I sat by the side, hands feeling
I knew you were pretending asleep;
Then slowly gone to an indifferent self
Why didn't you meet me there, by your side?

Remember all those questions I asked?
Of compulsions and convictions of yore
When you wore an eerie silence as answer
Looking away saying I don't want to respond
I had waited for you there, for long
Why didn't you meet me there with the answers?

Remember all those things you have hidden
Things that changed my takes on life
On trust, respect, love and sorts
You slept over them and woke up afresh
I stood there unslept; carrying scars ever after
Why didn't you sight me so, there?

We were walking along and away,
Not knowing the long pauses we took
Two souls trapped in the same maze
Crossing and nodding days after days
But more as strangers; on a courtesy call
I wish you stopped and met me there.

Now that I have been on this travail for long
With miles to go for that unknown destiny
And a lost way back in labyrinths of mind
Meetings won't be of hearts anymore;
Would set us only on old routes we loathe
So wait no more on your wire...
There's nothing like a house full
when you're a single parent
and you'd think the mess you find you're in
would be a good deterrent

But there's nothing to compare
despite the tears and all the struggles
to everyday the love you have
and the kisses and the cuddles

And i'll say this from the start
there's no one else i'd rather be
and raise my kids alone
it's a job made just for me

And despite the sleepless nights
and the sticky fingerprints
and the ***** piles of washing
and the room that always stinks

There's a bundle of four children
who are as happy as can be
they really are a rabble
but I know that they love me

We've all been though some heartache
and quite traumatic things
but everyday is worth it
no matter what it brings

And even if the washing
is piled to the sky
and the dog wants to move out
though I can't imagine why

And the plugholes always blocked
and there's arguing afoot
and everyone got taller
from the last time that I looked

And they play on the same server
all laughing with each other
all in different bedrooms
two sisters and two brothers

You'd never know that last night
there was almost World War 3
and a hostage negotiation
over playing DayZ

But rules here must apply
there are chores and a curfew
a sense of order must be kept
even if you're 6 foot 2

I count my blessings as I go
and for each other we are glad
when you raise your kids alone
being both their Mum and Dad.
Being a single parent is, without doubt, the most challenging and yet the most rewarding thing I will ever do.

At times I will fail but I will try to do my best my whole life
to be what they need.

And one day, I hope they will to go into the world happy,
well rounded, open minded, open hearted adults.

That is my mission
:o)
The thaw begins with a drip,
builds to a roar, subsides to sunlight
prisms playing over every surface

illuminating still-wet velvet wings
maroon and yellow, neon blue
pseudo-bark underneath.

In the clear-cut, pink fireweed
pierces a sky alive with souls
reveling in their last year on earth

sampling nectar with newly curled
tongues while summer degrades
to fall, burrowing in the cool

damp cord of fir put up for winter
awakening in spring, tasting summer
before the reprieve, too soon over

time come to fold
battered wings, to slip free
of this mourning cloak and rise.
"Dad you are
getting old"
my kid
sounds alarmed,
as he yells out
that warning.
His curious eyes spied
the stray strands
of grey hair
I refuse to hide,
I could guess.  
                        Just up from the bed,
                        slipped out of his
                        mother's hands
                        he is eager to stand
                        against the scale
                       to see how much
                       did he grow last night.
                                                          ­   He opens wide
                                                            ­  his sleepy eyes,
                                                           ­   to look closely as if
                                                             to gauge the change
                                                             and looks betrayed.
                                                       ­      I see the  moving
                                                     ­        shadow of time
                                                            ­ in black and white
                                                           ­  in those little eyes.
                                                           ­   
                                                            "­My kid is
                                                             growing up"
                                                             ­ I realize
                                                         ­   "Time to slow down
                                                            ­ and hold his hands"
Poem 2000
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've found love
without you.
It's with a smile
and a mirror
and he will
always be nearer.
I've been saving up dreams
Throughout these busy years
Going to build me a boat
Make my way out of here

Collecting colorful sheets
That I'll mend into sails
To catch the nearest cool breeze  
Blowing the way that I feel

Pockets filled up with nails
To steady the planks
A fist full of charts
To explore the dream life

Where all that's ahead
Are whimsical days
The wind at my back
The past in my wake

The dreams that I've saved
Throughout these busy years
I'm putting into that boat
And sailing far off from here
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