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Ray Ross Oct 2018
war
i could never go to war.
i could never shoot, or help someone who will.
those soldiers on the other side, are just like me.
their mothers cry, i can almost hear it.
their best friend will never hear their laugh.
their room lay empty, an unused bed,
dust-covered books they never read.
young men go off, **** other young men.
if you're very lucky, you'll see your son again.
i could never go to war.
my grandfather narrowly avoided the draft,
he was a teacher.
his high school friend got expelled,
and within a week,
he was dead.
his mother cried.
he was nothing but a name on a plaque,
and barely that.
i could never go to war.
Ray Ross Sep 2018
He tapped my shoulder
He said a few words but all I heard
Was the buzz of my heart beating faster
And faster
In fear.

He acted normal,
If not a little nervous,
Knowing,
I would be around campus.
With him.

I thought I would’ve yelled,
Or screamed,
Or told him to leave,
But I just took it.

I just took it.

I texted my friend a minute later that I’d be late to class.
I was busy crying in the bathroom.
Ray Ross Sep 2018
Attention *****.
I've only called myself this,
Though I know it to be true.
I create conflicts at convenient times,
Where everyone has to pay me mind.
I do terrible things sometimes,
Just to have something to regret.
Just to have something to complain about.
Attention *****.
I'll do anything to get your mind off that
And onto me, the king, the needy.
I'll answer any question, I'll do any dare.
Give me something to regret,
You're only fueling me.
How many things do I complain about
That are honestly real,
How many are just for being an
Attention *****.
Ray Ross Sep 2018
I was drunk last night.
I made a sandwich at one in the morning
I hated the feeling of alcohol
Burning in my stomach,
But I was drunk last night,
I was alone.
I remembered how
I stood on the edge of the cliff,
I had no fear that time,
Because if I'd died, I wouldn't care.
The way my arm was torn and split,
So I could prove that I still feel,
I wasn't drunk then.
But I was drunk last night.
I wrote poetry about wristwatches
And watched music videos
Until I passed out in this bed.
I don't know why I did it.
But I feel sick today.
Ray Ross Sep 2018
Mixing ***** and juices,
On Tuesday morning, Monday night,
The parents are asleep.
The stars are so bright.

My body is a temple,
You're **** right.
If it feels good enough,
I'll respect it tonight.

Bandage my chest,
Hurts my ribcage,
I’m a ******* kid,
Shouldn't have to be brave.

You should've been a brother,
Should've got the name right,
Should've been her son,
Instead I'm drinking tonight.
Ray Ross Jul 2018
I am built of ashes and bones and guilt-tripped sundaes topped with cherry-loving men,
I am built of fire and stains of tears and blood and cussing standing in a pool of muck I see my feet sink into the floor I cannot move I am not allowed to exist no more.
I am built of dedication and love, I'm growing up, I am made of courage and flattery I am a tangled, troubled mess,
I am built of flowerbeds and boyshort underpants and digital pictures taken as I jump, my hair flying.
I am built of pretty things and sixteen eyes, two spiders curled up in the outskirts of my mind.
I will survive.
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