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Raya Evangelista Dec 2014
I was
once happy.
But then
you
left.
And you
took
with you
every
bit of
glee
I had.
Don't depend your happiness onto others.
We often say,
" Save me,"
as if it were
possible at all.

like catching
all the world's
waterfalls

like breathing
a fireball

like dogs playing
basketball

But those don't work,
and neither does our wish.

Hopeless
like words on the lips of fish

Try as you might
but your attempts will always
be dismissed.

The hope of salvation is
self-love that persists.
love thy self.
know thy self.
save thy self.
Raya Evangelista Dec 2014
I embraced
everything
in you.
Even your scars,
your fears, and
your darkest secrets.

I’m embracing you,
but it seems like…
my arms are not
the right ones
to fit your
longing soul.
Raya Evangelista Dec 2014
i. Dishes breaking, objects crashing, my father and mother shouting and screaming at each other: I grew up to these. These became my music when I was seven.

ii. One time, maybe my father got tired of hearing all the nags from my mother and didn’t give a **** anymore. He left us on the 24th of December. This was my Christmas Eve experience when I was eleven.

iii. After months or even years of being ‘somewhat’ catatonic, my mother took her life maybe because of depression. She was mentally dead before, anyway. This was my birthday gift when I was twelve.

iv. I grew up orphaned and alone. Didn’t have the slightest chance to be taken cared of and protected.
Years later, I received a letter telling me that my father is sick of leukemia, stage 4. This was what welcomed me after my graduation rites. Seems that this was my graduation gift afterall.

v. Right after reading the letter, I immediately rushed to where my father is.

vi. Because even just for his last days, I want to be with my dad. I wanna take care of him.. even though I was never engulfed by his sweet protection.
Raya Evangelista Dec 2014
because of you,
i learned
that
people
are the
main
cause of
people's
brokenness.

— The End —