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I've fallen so far in thought. I've contemplated ideas and theories of meaning and purpose in this life. Only to find myself in the darkness of reality. Sadness now overwhelms me knowing that nothing really matters. The magic and wonder is gone and I fear it isn't coming back.
The gloom was thick
Everywhere I turned
I could not see the path in front of me
Who is it now?
Where are you?
I call out your name
Into the darkness
The thick grey smoke
You seem to appear
I am taken into daydreams
I think it's clearing
Then I find it's not even true
If you're not the one here
I don't want to open my eyes
I don't want to know who
I don't want anyone
If it isn't you
Then I see you on my screen again
Out of the blue
The smoke clears
My mind feels giddy
Like it's all brand new
Until you leave me alone for days
And I can feel the gloom
Approach me
I crawl into my feelings
And lock everyone out
rose petals falling
all around me lies the love
we once called home
insatiable desire
for more than just
bits and pieces,
i want all of you,
to savor your tenderest parts,
to devour your heart
and soul;
satisfaction.
Tiny hints
So action packed
Thought provoking
Wheels turn
Too fast
Slow that
Relax
Learn that subtlety
Class
Trust the process
Learn the mind
Know a 3 fold cord
Is hard to find
Let it be
That subtlety
Like that
It's unusual
Giving everything
meaning
I am just going through the motions of life.
Days blend into nights.
I merely exist; just numb to life around me.
I just self destruct believing I am punishing myself for my stupidity.
But I secretly still hold a gleam of hope that someone will see through me.
Bullying seems to only be accepted
When performed by government officials
Terrorism is viewed as legal
As long as it is carried out with a badge

Since when did it become okay
To label innocence extreme?
Peacemakers "troublemakers"?
I'll tell you,
When peacemaking interferes with power
When war is the goal
When scheming for personal gain & greed rules

Bullies are leaders
World rulers who take dignity away
Downtrod good people
Put love to shame
They think they are the end of the line
They title themselves almighty
Little do they know the consequence
Their hands are bloodstained guilty

Minds bloodthirsty
Hearts black as coal
The vengeance of Jehovah
Comes upon them in an instant
It is then, they will know.
Then they will know you only are Jehovah
Then they will know your ways are just and true
Then they will know throughout the whole creation
All you have purposed
You will surely do
I remember
when it was overwhelming
Bubbling with emotion
Pouring love out like an overflow
I gave until the last drop
Imagining the happiness of giving
Satisfactory appreciation
My willing sacrifices
Now a memory
I now love with
The burden of me
Broken hearts & crushed spirits
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