42
It echos in my head
What does it mean
A number

42
I asked
Waiting for that the answer
It took so long

42
Really
Why
How could this be

42
I need to know
There needs to be a reason
This doesn't mean any thing

42
I don't know the question
This computer must be broken
What do I do

42
I must find out
There has to be a way
I must find it

42
I will build a better computer
I will find it
But.. I am just a mouse

And if I can't I will make it up...

I wonder
if you think of me the way I think of you
During the day wondering
What you are doing
I wonder if you think of me
Late at night as you try to fall asleep
Like I do I right now
I wonder
Do you ask your self
Is he ok..?
Like I do

Look to the stars
Broken bits of light.
Sparkling in the dark
Like glimmers of hope
In the darkest moments
Some where there is a spark
Burning in your heart
So lift that chin
And have them guide you
on your way
And know there is hope
When you look to the stars

Wonderfully wrong
Have I lived my life
Wonderfully wrong
On the edge of a knife
Wonderfully wrong
It was so broken
Wonderfully Wrong
Until I had that token
Wonderfully wrong
It made sense
Wonderfully wrong
On the other side of the fence
Wonderfully wrong
It made me smiles
Wonderfully wrong
The thousands of miles
Wonderfully wrong

Was never so Right

As the days move on
Life feels like a dream

As the joy fades away
This dream becomes a nightmare

With out passion
And with out purpose

This cold feeling
Crawls over me

How is a person to fight it
When there is no fight  left in there heart

So now I wait
In its cold dark grip

Waiting for what?
Salvation or death

I do not know

Butterfly's
They say
I love you
With the flap of there wings

The sands run red
My sword in hand
Crimson under foot
I look
Faltering I see the life drain from my rival
How simple it would be
There fate and mine
Pain quickly
Then nothing
Not afraid
Only one can win
All else must fail
This is the way life is
War and blood shed is the way of mans heart
Blade to flesh
Life and death
How simple it would make this problem
I am not afraid to die
But am I brave enough to live
Are you
If only we could carve destiny
Like flesh
Breaking the bonds of life
Like the bones of our oponents
It would be simple
It would be easy
That's not what life is about
Its not about easy
It should never be so simple
There are hard questions that come at us
They can be ominous
You feel the need to run
But there is no escape
And you can not hide from life
I have given you a sword
Sharing wisdom
And armed you with my shield
Showing you how to find your will power
Now you need to stand and fight
I know your afraid
Obviosly see you trembling
This is your life now
The struggle will not stop tell you beat it down
I know you can
You're stronger then you realize
I cheer for you
Stand the ground
Hold the line
Don't let fear of life stand in your way
Win your war
Break down that wall
Face your fears that stand in your way
Don't let life's problems **** you
You're better then that
I will be there to pick you up
To clean the wounds
And whisper in you're ear words to encurage
Don't fall on you're sword
Stop turning blades on the flesh of you're self
You can win this fight
I know you can
There is no way to fight it for you
So I wait
And watch
Cheering
You are strong
And smart
Don't give up on you
Find you're footing
Grab ahold of life
Make it what you want
I know the fear
I know the power
**I know you can

Whispering soft sweet nothings in the wind
I walk silently in the pale moon light
The frost of cold earth beneath my feet
Walking this trail softly looking up in to the stars
My heart beats slow and steady
A cool wind rolling up my back
Where is the world that once was
When did it all go so dark
Sitting on a rock
I look to the horizon for breaking light
Waiting for the day the light returns to my life
Or the day the dark that binds me doesn't feel so cold

This pen dances
It moves along the page
It moves with a mind of its own

Its body is my soul
Its tip my heart
Its ink is my blood

It moves for me
Sharing all my thoughts
Telling all my secrets

I can't stop
It bloods on to the page
My life spilling out

My heart is filled with words I can not say
So I write draining out my soul
My body shining every letter

I write so I wont die
I write to stay alive

I write to live

Why do I wish
....
I was
....
dead
....

I will be here

Of all the words to say
Of all the things I can do
A whisper
Or a painting of you
In the end
A single thought
A frame of emotion
Love
To you

Playing in the darkness
I dance to the tune
Watching the clock tic
I listen to the tok
Its strokes moves me
The shine of the moon light my partner
Its soft glow moving around me
Never touching it
I close my eyes and feel the cool breeze
I inhale deeply as if it where my lover
Its smells as the nights of summer
My feet in the grass
Swaying to the beat of my heart
The stars shine over me as tho they where guiding me
My skin touching the soft dew
Shivering in the cold
I move faster
My heart beating fast
Racing keeping me warm
I spin in the between moon beams
Almost perfect
The shadows dancing with me as I glide
A vale of dark moves in closer
Fire fly dot the woods
The chirps of crickets sing out
Faster I turn
Faster I move
Leaves from the trees kicking up in a swirl around me
Owls pear down watching my every step
The echo off the rocks and trees are all I need
The light of the night sky brightening the darkness
Why be afraid of the dark when there is so much good in it
Why hide from your own shadow when there is so much pleasure in it

I'm sorry

A dream
Like stain glass
Shining light over the room
Wonder and Spender

A dream is a special thing
Relaxing and pure
You can fall asleep to
Bathed in it light

One day
The glass will break
The light will fade
"What did you dream?"
And what passed

When you slumbered

Lost words
Untold story's
Whispers

and truth

You don't know what you do to me

I'm a nightmare
Not a hero
I 'm disaster
Not a champion
I'm a lost cause
That what I always known

You don't know what you do to me

I'm a fighter
Not a knight
I feed my hatred
Not my passion
I crave the pain
It gives me pleasure

You don't know what you do to me

I see your smile
No more anger
I watch your lips
No more hatred
I hear your words
Then feel your soul

You don't know what you do to me

You hold the monster
Not afraid
You whisper in my ear
Not a hesitation in your voice
You tell me I can be more
Making me believe in a better way

You don't know what you do to me

What have you done to me..

..You tame my beast

The color of rage
The color of anger and of blood
But not all in ones eyes need be so cruel
Passion and pride exposed
The heart and of love
Eyes of red
The perfect balance
Of heart and soul

Fear
the bringer of unrest
It challenges you

Twisted
It bends the truth
Like a bent mirror

Afraid
I know better
It screams the truth

Blinded
I need to step back
To see the the picture

Scared to move
The pain that has been
And the pain that might be

Unsure
I have never been afraid
Tell now alone I must stand

Clarity
But with fear is truth
To see the  fact

Truth
There is nothing to fear
But fear its self

How many times will I sit here...
...and watch my dreams...
...turn to ash

Before I blow away too

You sit there smiling at me
I look in your eyes and grin showing my dimples

Whispering I ask
"What can I get you"

You joke with me for a moment and tell me
"nothing I am happy"

You see me thinking and whisper
"some thing pretty"

But next to you..
Nothing is as pretty as it was

Give them hell who try to drag you down
Give all your passion to those that give you love
Give it the best you got and never forget
Give it all

I am not alive any more
I am a ghost
I walk on a network
I have no face, no name, just a handle and pixels

When did I give up on the real world
When did I trade grass and sky for wires and signals
When did I decide that a screen name was my name
When will I figure out the code

Was there a reason for it
was there some thing that fixated me on this screen
Was there some thing there to hold me
Was I hiding from some thing called life

What happens when I crash, am I still there
What happens when I am gone
What will become of all that I left behind in ones and zeros
What if I end it

Unplug
Switch off
Delete this world I wove for my self
Watch it all tumble down with with the click of a button

Is this the end of my
Is this the end of my screen name
Is this the end of every thing I have come to know
Is this digital suicide

I sit here looking at the words.
The keys that ask the ultimate question
There is no going back
"Yes" or "No"

Could it be that simple
Could it be that easy
Could it be just two ways
Could I do it...

I lied
I needed you

Afraid to sleep
Shaking as I close my eyes
My monsters don't play under my bed
They smile as they play inside my head
Gleefully they twist all my dreams to night mares
My hopes to horrors
These monsters in my head have no heart
In my mind, in my dreams as I close my eyes...
is where they start

Do you ever wonder if

You will ever forget

About people the way

They forgot about you

Blade dragging across my flesh
Faster and faster
Swift and steady
Not feeling a thing
Dancing as it tares my skin
Drops of blood
Like tear drops tricking down
Black blood
Cold and dead
With out feeling
No pain or joy
A hallow doll
Able to feel nothing
But relief

“Sometimes love means letting go
                            when you want to hold on tighter.”

Melissa Marr

Howl at the moon for all you have lost
Wish on the stars for the strength to carry on
Wait for the sun to rise, Like a new day bringing new chance
So let it out
Howl at the moon
And let it all out

A sound
A sound
How can it be
That a sound can be
The drug in my life

A sound
A sound
Making me smile
Makes me feel warm
So soft and soothing

A sound
A sound
So simple
And so pure
And yet I can not find it

A sound
A sound
Filled with light
If that is to be understood
Chasing away the dark

This sound
I am missing right now

Silently screaming in the shadows

My body gone
My voice mute
My words lost

Screaming to be herd
Wanting to speak
Needing you to know

But you don't
Because you're you
And you don't know

It will be ok
I vow
I promise

Walking in the dead of night
Street lamps going dark as I walk under them
Am I lost or not wanting to be found
These things in my soul no one understands

Walking in the cool night air
The thoughts rip through my mind
These limits where broken
Humanity stripped away leaving nothing

Craving to use this power
The dark creeping in my heart
Was this what I was intended for
Blood thirst

Walking alone what am I looking for
Knowing I was trained to win
Cold and unforgiving
Can I stay my hand a little longer

Nothing bringing me peace
This walk though the ally
Looking for trouble
A proving ground

Fighting is what I know
Am I a man fighting his demons
Or the demon who killed the man
It seems so far away

Am I looking to feel the rush
Or maybe to step to the edge again
Seeing if I can hold back
Just.. a.. little.. longer..

Maybe if I can find some where
In a place its deserved
I would not feel so bad
When I see the horror in peoples eyes

This thing
Demon or a monster
You see it in there eyes
Thats why I call my self that

So I chose to walk alone
Rather then see it again
In the eyes of some one I love
Push it all away and run

But looking up
There is a light
Glittering in the distance
Warmth drawing me in

Slowly I walk to it
Picking up speed
Faster and faster yet
I it hates the light

Freedom
Embrace me
Please don't fade
Calming in its glow

This pain
Struggling in the light
Washing the dark out of me
Please I beg

Leave the light on
I am almost home

Today I offer up my soul for this
I am living for my dieing wish
One more step closer to the grave
Another step closer to heaven
Let them drag me down and break me
There is nothing I would want more
I know in the end I will be the one standing
The scars will be a trophy and badge
They will know my name
And they shell know my power
I will never give up fighting for my life
The thing that makes me happy

.....
....
...
..
.

This is my fight

Let me feel it
Your hate
Your distain
Your contempt

It feels good
I want it
I need it
I crave it

I see the knife in your hand. I don't care
I pull you close
I put my arms around you
I hold you

Press it in to my heart
Slide it in deep
Then look in my eyes
Let me smile down at you

You can not hurt me
I am strong then that
I will not die
I will fight

You did not destroy me
You did not **** me
I am still here
I still love you

I would say with my last breath

I will always love you

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hoped to give you forever.”

Nicholas Sparks

In the end
Does it matter
All the hurt
The pain
They tried to rip us apart
Told you you could never have me
forced me away from you
Those days
Dark
and painful
In those days
There was nothing we could do
Where they please?
Happy they had broken you
They underestimate you tho
Because in the end you pulled your self together
At this point you are stronger then ever
You are growing to your new strength
I am proud of you
In the end does it matter how hard they hurt you
Because baby  in the end we made it
We are here
In this moment
I will say
"Hi"
"I Love your little girl"
"Remember me?"

I Remember
I Dared
I Dared to Dream
I Dared to Hope
I Dared to Hope my Dream would be
I Dared Hope my Dreams would be shared one day
I Lived for my Dream
I Lived for Hope
I Lived for you

But now your gone

I have no more Dreams..
I have no more Hope..
I have lost them all..

But I still Dare..
I still Dare to Dream..

Why do I care
Why do I try
Why do I want to

Then I remember

You cant they say
You won't they say
You will die

I have herd this all my life

He's not strong enough
He's not smart enough
He's not good enough

And yet here I am,

Defying you
Standing in front of you
Telling you I can

The world has spent a life time telling me I can't.. I won't.
I have spent a life time proving it wrong

If I listened I would not be able to walk, to talk, read or write

I never gave up.
I never let them win

I can't forget
but what really hurts is
Feeling like I am
forgotten

This feeling
A feeling washing over me
Longing
A memory of blue eyes
Warmth
A smile coming across my face
Wishing
To whisper thank you
Truth
You made me happy
Thankyou

I had this dream...
...It was so perfect

I had this dream...
...We where in love

I had this dream...
...They put a gun in your hand and pointed it to my forehead

I had this dream...
...They screamed at you until you pulled the trigger

I Had this dream...
...You cried over my corps

I had this dream...
...Before you killed me