darling moon
dear moon
do not be offended
we have stripped you
down to rock and a plain face
and we show pictures of you
in black, gray and white;
and though a writer of verse,
in this verse,
I strip you of your romance and aura;
be not angry
for after all,
you will understand,
we are children who come after
Galileo
and Neil Armstrong

dear owl,
where is your home
after all the day and night of rains
that you should sit
forlorn like Lear
on the pavement
this cold, sunless morning?

you will make one again
dear owl
and you will hoot again in nights
and stay discreet in the days

1)  THE INVITATION

Mr and Mrs Smith
thought they'd need
(Oh, just for fun)
a change of guests they had
so they invited Death
for a meal, via email
“Hello, would you care
to come for dinner?
6pm will be fine.”
And Death said yes,
but he wanted to know:
Is that a death wish?
And he was working at home
so he continued deleting
names on his database


2)  DINNER

And it was dinner
and Mrs Smith rolled
her eyes, and patted her curls
and Death said:
“You trying to flirt with me?”
And then they played cards
and Death looked
at Mr Smith dealing
and he groaned:
“You trying to cheat me?”
And Mrs Smith said:
“How would you like your dinner?”
And Death said: "Always cold for me.”
And Mr and Mrs Smith thought
it was time for their guest to go
but Death said:
*“I’ll have you know
nobody tells me when to come or go”

1
Susan visits May
and May gasps,
looking out the window:
Hey! Oh no –  that’s my husband
walking here with my lover!

Oh my God, exclaims Susan
that’s exactly what I’m thinking!



2
Little Tommy is outside
crying in the street
and Old Margie walks by
and she says to the crying boy:
Hey, why the tears?
And little Tommy says:
My parents are inside the house
and they are fighting.

Old Margie scratches her head
looks close
and asks: Who’s your Dad?

Oh, says Little Tommy,
*that’s what they are fighting about

Well, my deputy had been in the job
a month into it
and the deputy called me on the phone
from the woods nearby, on routine duty:
"Hello sheriff – there’s a body here,
I just noticed, below a tree…he appears dead
What do I do?"

"Well," I answered, with authority
"Before we take things any further,
first, let’s ensure he’s dead -"

And my deputy said:
"Hang on..."
And then my deputy was back on the phone:
*"OK, I just put 3 bullets in him
I’m dead sure he’s dead
What do I do next?"

I think
therefore
I am single

I wander now
in the wilderness, in the woods
on deserted paths between villages
greeted by strangers
welcomed by humble folk
but welcomed at no Lord’s castle
rejected by Masters and Authorities
shunned by those in Position, in Step
ostracised and kept in the distance by Establishment

the lonely all-embracing tree
offers me shade
the narrow cave
accepts me in the night
a kind wife and her man
offer me part of the meal
they have prepared for their children

the Order harries me on
I have to keep moving
And nothing in my past
condemns me in the present
nor does it save me

All that I’ve learned
is become my burden
All that I’ve loved
I’ve grown to hate
Of my own life
I’ve made my straitjacket
and in my footsteps you read
The Sutra of the Outsider

did you die,
Ophelia?
did you drown yourself?
I heard you looked
pretty and glorious
in your best dress
and with flowers
all ready to meet your Maker;
they tell me it was so beautiful
one could only cry to see you in the water…
did you **** yourself
darling Ophelia
because I told you to go join a nunnery?
did you think
your love’s words
meant a nunnery is the same as death
and so honored mad Hamlet’s words that way?
you could have chosen a drier type of death,
you know – though death by drowning,
dearest Ophelia,
dying in a stream and being wet
you save the living the trouble of washing you…
did you die, did you drown
darling Ophelia
thinking
Poor, poor Hamlet is gone mad…?
…thinking….
There is nothing left when a noble soul
goes insane…
did you die,
Ophelia?
did you drown yourself?
or is that just some new fashion you’ve invented
darling Ophelia
of taking a beauty bath?

did you see love died
yesterday? –
like an unwanted baby
in the gutter, in the bin
without a whimper
without a moan;
O did you see
love died yesterday?


first we shouted this is mine
that’s yours
and this is us, that’s you
and drew bold black lines
round the earth
and cunning prevailed
over oceans and sky –
O did you see this way,
love died yesterday?

and we instituted
societies
and hierarchies
and had measures
so the many would serve the few
and so love died,
did you see, yesterday?


and we came back from hills
and caves and deserts
and we said: God spoke to me
and this is the Word that is in the Book
and if you disagree, you’re dead meat!
and so we killed one another
but O, it’s love we killed
did you see that
how love died yesterday?

and some grew insane
the inspiration became depravity
and they said God sanctioned killing
God wants blood!
God wants me to ****!
That’s what they say.
O, do you see
love died yesterday?


did you see love died
yesterday? –
like an unwanted baby
in the gutter, in the bin
without a whimper
without a moan;
O did you see
love died yesterday?

they reject
different lovers
that’s lovers who
are different, don’t they?
but we are different
in their eyes
though our hearts do not tell us so
and we love
it’s you and I
and though the world
may point to color and language and region
and put up barriers of creed and dogma
and funnily enough
they all teach love and then put it aside
when it comes to practice
which means they really preach love with conditions
which is not love, is it?
but we in love
we put aside everything
for it is love
that renewed radiant moment that matters
and all there is
the love untainted;
let them talk of differences;
we celebrate love

together now
let us sing
the song of inanity
the song of no meaning
it is the song of the no-light
the song of the ludicrous
the ludicrous become meaning
meaning become ludicrous
This become that
That become this
ding! ding! ding! ding!
ping! ping! ping! ping!
everything has penetrated its opposite
and the world become beastly
no beginning, no end
no origins
let us sing now
the world topsy-turvy
the brain in a soup,
the mind’s one word: baa-baa-baa
you sing one line
the other another
and then all together
the song of bad breath and yawns
ding! ding! ding! ding!
ping! ping! ping! ping!
we see King Lear walking
naked in the plains
and we have the Imposter
with his heavy **** on the Throne
which is a Toilet with automated cistern
let us sing then
not then, but now
together now
let us sing
the song of inanity
the song of no meaning
it is the song of the no-light
the song of the ludicrous
the ludicrous become meaning
*ding! ding! ding! ding!
ping! ping! ping! ping!

And Diogenes is in his corner
and this young man
new Philosophy Graduate
of the Academy comes up to him
and sits beside him on the steps
of Raphael's School of Athens
and the young man says to Diogenes:
'There is no such thing as motion, Diogenes.
I shall prove to you through complex philosophy.'

And Diogenes gets up
and he walks away from
the School of Athens
and he goes to his tub
at the end of the marketplace

See, Diogenes is in the market
It is busy, crowded
usual Sunday crowd
busy, busy at the market;
some come to buy meat
and some to pick pockets
and some to ogle

see - suddenly Diogenes
jumps into the crowd
and he shouts:
"Men! Men! Quick - quick!
We need some help!"

And 6 men jump forward
to help, 6 sturdy men
all strong, eager and ready

and Diogenes spits in their faces
spits as quickly as he can
and swiftly crouches as low as he can:
*"I asked for men!
Not scoundrels!"

"Do you notice,"
says a passer-by
to the begging Diogenes,
"that people rather offer alms
to the lame, blind and maimed?
They do not offer alms
to a philosopher like you.
Why is it that you think?"

"That's because,"
says Diogenes
"people think one day
they too might become lame, blind or maimed -
but they never think they'd
ever turn to philosophy
So they ignore me..."

Diogenes is walking past
the crowds and the stalls
in the market

the butcher has caught a man
stealing meat
'Oh,' says the thief
'It's my fate to steal -
do not punish me! '

'Oh,' says Diogenes,
'if it's your fate to steal
then it's your fate to be beaten!'

And Diogenes beats him

'Say Diogenes,
how is a Wise One
to be known?
Can you tell me
how a Wise One
might look like?'*

Diogenes looks skyward,
strikes a pose
and strokes his beard

A man comes
from the next city
seeking Diogenes
'O Diogenes,
I have come in search
Of wisdom…
Can you write me a Book
and give that to me
so that I can cherish wisdom
all my life?'

'You fool!' says Diogenes
*'If you were hungry
you would not eat the painting
of a meal but the food itself -
and yet you seek the Book
but not the wisdom…
Discard the Book;
see the truth!'

Do my eyes fail me?
Is the light of the sun useless?
for though in daylight I have walked abroad
from the confined barrel I live in
away from the rats
away a while from the stray dogs
that congregate outside my hovel
that want a bit of my sack of carrots
and discarded meat
that I picked up from the market;
and though I walked often with firm steps and keen eyes
I did not see a man, a woman, a human worth their salt;
and so I walk now
(for perhaps my eyes do fail me
and the light of the sun and moon is perhaps an illusion)
and so I walk now with a lantern even in broad daylight
and still I do not see a man, a woman, a human worth their salt;
what I see are swirls of violence and greed and pettiness
and whorls of self-preoccupation and bigotry and ignorance
and narrowness
all encased in flesh and bones:
leave me Sirs and sweet-dressed and made-up Ladies
and Children corrupt in the World of Adult Fanfare;
leave me and let me go on my quest further afield
as far as the lantern will allow me
even in this bright day ruled by the sun
and ruined by you Sneering Living Beings;
leave me to wander as far to see if I cannot perhaps find a human
in some corner….a surprise as one might find
a gold coin in some dark corner….
And I so hope that today perhaps I shall find
the human this bright day
by the light of this lantern
and not like yesterday and all days before
search in vain till the lantern light dies
and crawl back to my hovel
not finding one free of these or at least sincere,
and so worthy of the name of human…

And Diogenes is an outcast
not wanted by society;
his mind is way too far
and he doesn't belong -
and where does he come from, anyway?
and they don't want teachers like that;
and the men and women of Dignity
have made sure he stands at the periphery,
as far outside as possible


'O why do you beg,
Diogenes?'
asks the butcher

'I'm a teacher,
Old Butcher, '
says Diogenes
'I beg in order
to teach'

'And what
do you teach?'
asks the butcher

'Generosity,'
answers Diogenes
*'Do you have some bones
and meat you can spare?'

Diogenes is in his tub
in the street corner
and a servant of
The House of Vines
comes to him

'My Master,' says the servant
'bids you, Diogenes, dine with him
this Saturday night'

'I will not dine with him,'
says Diogenes
'Tell your Master so'

'And why is that?'
asks the servant
'My Master will want to know'

'Tell him,' says Diogenes
crawling back into his tub
*'The last time I dined with him
in his house
he did not express proper gratitude'

Diogenes has traded
philosophy for riches
and poor Diogenes must beg -
for neither does he want to belong
to any organisation

and so Diogenes begs

and this man in the street
says to the begging Diogenes:
"OK, I'll give you money
if you can persuade me"


"Persuade you?" says Diogenes
*"If I could persuade you
I'd persuade you to go
jump off the nearest cliff"

So what city do you belong to,
to what tribe, to what ethos and religion -
to what state, Diogenes?*

I have none
and so I am free -
but if you must have a label
to understand me
you might say: cosmopolites
…but beware of labels…

I'm content in this life
and with no desire
for loyalty rewards after


and penalties, if so,
I leave to Any
who might honestly think
it right to judge

Dog Mumbo
lives alone
since his master disappeared
in the corner house
in Suburb Bumbo

Mumbo stands with
his head at the window
paws on the sills
and when Stranger Whoever's
heart is touched
"O that poor thing,
so so sweet"
and comes in to pat the dog
Dog Mumbo invites
Stranger Whoever
to the master's seat
and closes the door;
and when Dog Mumbo turns round
to Stranger Whoever
it's no longer that poor thing,
so so sweet thing
For it goes straight for the heart

And so it lives alone
and feeds itself
same way its Master fed it

And I believe, you discerning reader,
have a name
so remember it well
and do not fancy yourself ever to be
Stranger Whoever

dog bites man;
man bites back

dog turns round
faces the man
and dog barks:
"Do not bite -
it is not man nature;
besides, your canines
are not sharp
Now I will bite again
where it hurts most
so you'll never forget
dog nature"

dog bites man;
man runs
like a match-stick man

the other time
my donkey insisted
I take it to the cinema
and so I did -
not that I got a kick out of it
but just so that I didn't get a kick

anyways
we were watching the movie
when the guy seated next to donkey
said: "Hey, you're a donkey.
What 'r' you doing in the cinema? "

And donkey replied:
*" I reviewed the book;
now I'm here to review the movie"

Come, listen all -
listen to a very gentle fable
Of Donkey, Dog and Man
and the friendship
amongst these three



1
Donkey and Dog are loyal servants;
they’ve served the same master
all their lives

It’s night now and
Donkey and Dog sleep
in the courtyard
while Master
snores in the house

A thief sneaks in
through the gate
and donkey whispers
as gently as he can:
Hey, dog…There’s an intruder;
Why don’t you bark and let master know?


And the old Dog growls as
quietly as he can:
Why don’t you bray aloud
and raise the alarm?


Hey, but you’re the dog
and you’re man’s best friend,
Donkey whispers in the dark



Man’s best friend, eh?
says Dog.
But is man the dog’s best friend?
I’ve served the master for ages
and now that I’m old he neglects me
and is talking about taking another dog.
I bet he’ll have you skinned alive
when you’re dead!
To the dogs with him!
You bray if you like.



2

Oh I’ve never seen
a more ungrateful being,
Donkey says.
Master is the best
and though he treats
us harsh
it’s all for our own good.
But your ingratitude offends me
and for the sake of decency and justice
and for all the values I hold dear
I shall have to do
a watchdog’s duty instead.


And with that
the donkey brays aloud
and the cacophony is heard
in all the village
and the thief runs away as quickly as he can;
and the master comes running out with a huge stick
and seeing the donkey braying madly
with no cause but its own stupidity
the master beats the donkey well and proper
till all his own hands ache
and he goes back to bed


And now Dog and Donkey
lie down again together
in the courtyard
and Dog says to the quiet Donkey:
Looks like you just found out
how it feels to be man’s best friend!

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
*The donkey never asks for more burden
than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

The evolutionist asks of Narudin
which is the wiser:
Donkey or man?

The donkey, naturally, says Nasrudin.

How is that? asks the evolutionist
surprised at Nasrudin’s quick reply


And Nasrudin says:
The donkey never asks for more burden than it can carry;
but man - ah, they ask for more
and take on more than they should

got myself a donkey yesterday

got myself a donkey yesterday

and tethered it out there in the yard;

but when I looked out the window

I noticed
it looked glum, moody and testy

so I went out to see what I could do
I tickled my donkey 

and he cackled and laughed a lot

and he hee-hawed aloud -

but yeah, you can bet your ****

I got the bigger kick out of it


my donkey died

You remember the donkey

I bought some time ago? 

Well, I stopped feeding it for a week

and the stupid animal died 

just as it was finally learning to survive

on clean air, positive thoughts and vibes


that's a donkey on the table

so my donkey died

and in my grief I lay it on the best table

and I drank and drank



and people who came to mourn

brought some hay

but some of them said, after two days

(and I was still drinking-mourning):

"You can't just leave that lyin' on the table

"


"That's not a lion, you idiot!
"
I barked at each one of them
"That's my donkey on the table!
"
And so I'd demonstrated my ability

to stay sober

and retain my ****-picuity

in spite of days of grief

and like me I am sure you too

cannot but marvel at people's inability

to distinguish between a lion and a donkey


donkey ride

now that my donkey is dead

it makes me reminisce

about the good times we had

____



We were in the car

my donkey and I 

as I took it for a weekend ride

which was my habit



And a traffic cop stopped us 

and he said:

“Hey, what you doing 

with a donkey in the car?

Take it to the zoo”

*

The next weekend that same cop

stopped us

and he asked me:

“Still with that donkey?

I thought I told you to take it

to the zoo"



“Oh, I did,”* I replied

“and we enjoyed it so much

That was an excellent idea, thank you

Now we’re going to the beach”



donkey at the cinema*

the other time 

my donkey insisted

I take it to the cinema

and so I did - 
not that I got a kick out of it

but just so that I *didn't get a kick



anyways 

we were watching the movie

when the guy seated next to donkey

said: "Hey, you're a donkey. 

What 'r' you doing in the cinema? "

*


And donkey replied:

" I reviewed the book;

now I'm here to review the movie"

now that my donkey is dead
it makes me reminisce
about the good times we had*
________

We were in the car
my donkey and I
as I took it for a weekend ride
which was my habit

And a traffic cop stopped us
and he said:
“Hey, what you doing
with a donkey in the car?
Take it to the zoo”

The next weekend that same cop
stopped us
and he asked me:
“Still with that donkey?
I thought I told you to take it
to the zoo"

“Oh, I did,” I replied
*“and we enjoyed it so much
That was an excellent idea, thank you
Now we’re going to the beach”

1
don't you young
become poets
it may sound romantic and cool
but that's what it is - it sounds
Yeah, it's all about how it sounds

Mom was right:
Better be a dentist -
for though you stare all day into mouths
you'll be agape when you look at your bank accounts
Dad was right:
Better be a surgeon-specialist -
for though you fix areseholes all life-through
your bank account is never a dark hole

And poetry, remember,
they must have told you, doesn't sell;
the Humanities are not for humans;
Writing is for those who can't talk their way up -
so don't aspire to be a poet
dear young ones
for you'll suffer all life
of scarcity of means,
plenty of sneers and want

2
And your husbands will tell you:
I married you cause being a poet
I thought you could moan and oooh and aaah
and make better love than that!
And your wives will scowl:
**** your poetry!
Get me real diamonds and money!

3
So dear young ones
perhaps you want to give up your verse
and turn to medicine or finance
or engineering
and study for dollars instead

*a return on investment
is what you want

Anne and I were walking
down in the country
when we saw a lake
and a frog at its edge
“Ladies,” it croaked
“Will one of you give me a kiss? –
I was a fantastic saxophone player
and a country witch turned me
into a green frog”

I knelt down and picked up the frog
and threw him in my pocket
and buttoned up
so the creature couldn’t escape
and I resumed walking

“Sue,” said Anne to me
“Are you nuts?
The frog said it’ll turn
into a fantastic saxophone player -
so why don’t you or I  kiss it?”

“Anne,” I replied,
*“it’s you who's nuts
We’d make more money
with a talking frog anytime
than with a  saxophone dummy”

why are you vegetarian?
the friend asked
don't you like chicken and burgers?



dear friend*
I said
*it is all just how I relate to life and the world;
I look at a tree and at the clouds and I see their beauty;
I meet you and I am happy to sit and talk about things;
I see the animals and creatures
and I admire the way of each
and am awed by the uniqueness of each...
that is simply the way I relate to the world

Danny drops his broad bottom
back on the seat
beside his wife
at the food court
with 3 donuts for himself
each soaked in oil and fat
and each thick with white sugar coat

“Danny, why do you eat this stuff…?
That’s all fat, three donuts of fat,”
moans his wife

“Not really,” says Danny to his wife
who eats lettuce and carrot
and who looks like a knitting needle
*“Fastfood donuts are healthy;
look at the air in the middle -
but no doubt
one has to get through rest of the donut
for sure
but the air in the middle
is pure life-giving health
when one gets there”

O come buy doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts for sale

sweet ones, ladies
and yummy ones, gents;
precious doughnuts
you’ve never seen in your lands
I made them with my own hands
each sugary and yum to the core
round and hollow in the middle
each doughnut like Einstein’s universe


O come buy doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts for sale


colorful doughnuts
I have for you gathered here
I climbed the skies
to steal a color off each rainbow
that appears and disappears –
so have a blue doughnut,
a red or pink or green or purple
any color you will
or a psychedelic one if that please you more


O look at this love doughnut trick:
it fits your fingers like a huge wedding ring
and your beloved bites through
and then gets to your finger
and has to lick off every drop of sugar
and then kisses you on your hands
and after that
O, modesty forbids me to say anything beyond –
it’s all up to you…
Or would you prefer a doughnut bangle?


O come buy doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts
doughnuts for sale
O beautiful ladies
and gentle Sirs
please
make all my doughnuts
disappear within the hour

hey - do you ha, ha?
I know many of you
fall in love
and make love
and do pa pa and ma ma -
but hey, do you ha, ha?

and there’s that crazy woman
who thinks she’s a Lady
and she goes ga, ga;
and some men in black
who go nuts
and go rat-a-tat
but dump them, forget them
and think about you -
well, just how often do you ha, ha
and he, he, ha, ha,
a **, **, ** and a ha, ha, ha
and la, la, di, di, da, da
and tra la la la and ha, ha, ha, ha,
he he he hoo hoo ha ha ha?

you have some animals
go moo moo
some go baa baa
and some busy with zzzz…zzzz…zzzz…
some creatures might make sa sa sa
or ssss…ssss...ssss….
and you yourself may
go la, la, or tchk! tchk! tchk!
or you might go vroom! vroom! vroom!
but do you - honestly, do you ha, ha?
well, just how often do you ha, ha
and he, he, ha, ha,
a **, **, ** and a ha, ha, ha
and la, la, di, di, da, da
and tra la la la and ha, ha, ha, ha,
he he he hoo hoo ha ha ha?

so - do you *ha, ha?

the dragonfly is on the tip
still,
as is the air and so the bamboo;
and one observes
what is before one
not forming an image or opinion
or an appreciation
but one observes
what is before one
the dragonfly and the tip of the bamboo
and the air
and not even with names
and there is but that

Shall we tell
dear Dr Bell
he’s actually
fallen into a well
that he’s not exactly
in  hell
he’s really
a frog in the well
but if we do tell
dear Dr Bell
he’s actually
in a well
not in his proclaimed hell
and if he climbs out of this well
it’d be swell
cos he’d be out of the cell
and he wouldn’t smell
but then I’m afraid
dear Dr Well
will come out
of his imagined hell
just in order to sell
his vision of a literal hell
with proclamation
and pronouncement:
“Hear all about it!
I know all about it;
I’ve been to
and back from hell”

So should we tell him
or should we not?
Oh what the hell!
We’ll wish him well
we’ll tell him anyway:
Earth shall always beget fools
and many will fall
each in their own well
and so make life
a living hell
So let’s get Dr Bell
out of the well
for many
a fool awaits his
Divine Vision of Hell

I dreamed last night
of a battle field of frogs
much like opposing human soldiers
we have seen
in their violent play:
there was a general leading
his battalion to war
riding a bloated frog-soldier;
and the frogs used reed
to pound and beat their enemies;
and some used green shoots as rifles
and many a frog, I can assure you,
they did croak in the battlefield…


What does this dream
of the war of frogs presage
for us mice and rats in the city?
I have yet to ask the owl
that hoots nightly in the hollow
of the tree in the park
but my instinct tells me
there'll be a great human battle
and we'll have plenty to eat
for generations to come

I'm having a drink this here
at Space Bar in Pluto
and Martian Pete comes in
and sits beside me
and we talk, and we drink

Full of loyalty
and pride, as a human
(and patriotism included)
I tell the Martian:
"In 1969
We humans put a man on the moon"

"Pish! " says the Martian
"We sent a team
to the Sun
Earth Year 1959"

"Oh, " I say to the Martian
"The Sun would have burned
your team of Martians! "

"Pish! " retorts the Martian
*"You stupid Earthlings!
We sent them to the Sun at night"

Helen and Bill
were out camping
with their little kids
Annie and Sam

and Bill killed a deer
out there in the open
and his wife cooked it
and the kids
Annie and Sam
came after their swim
for their lunch

and the kids asked their dad:
“What’s for lunch?”
Bill hushed his  wife and he said
to the kids:
“Guess what meat it is,
children.
Here’s a clue:
Think of what mom
calls me other than my name”

And  Annie screamed:
*“Don’t eat it, Sam!
It’s an *******!”

the novices are comparing notes
proud of their teachers
(for if you boast of your Teacher
you make yourself look good)

“My teacher can go without food
for days at will,” says Owl at Lake

“My teacher is so elegant
he never yawns,” says Silk Robe

“My teacher is even better,” says Energy Jump,
“for he can go days without food, water and sleep”

“My teacher,” says Lazy Mumble,
*“I reckon has to be the best
for he eats when he has to,
drinks when he must
and yawns as much as he wants to
and sleeps when it ‘s time”

The Elders Warn Skinny Vinny
Skinny Viiny, eat your meals -
no spitting and no sputtering;
just chew and swallow
everything mom feeds you
Think of the millions in Third World Countries
who daily and nightly can't afford food

Skinny Vinny, eat your food
or when you're asleep alone at night
the cockroaches will gather in your room
and they will nibble and nibble
and nibble
at your arms and your legs
and they will nibble and nibble
all night and all moonlight
and they will nibble away
all your fingers and toes
So if you don't want that to happen,
Skinny Vinny, eat all your meals
all that mom feeds you


But Skinny Vinny Ignores Her Elders
Now, one night, Skinny Vinny saw
that all the cockroaches
did come  (only in her dream, though)
and in that dream the cockroaches ate away
exactly as her parents had prophesied -
nibble, nibble, nibble, nibble
at her fingers and at her toes  -
and Skinny Vinny was exactly bereft
of all her yummy fingers
and all her smelly toes



Skinny Vinny Learns Her Lesson
And by this dream
Skinny Vinny had the **** beaten out of her
so much by fear
that from then on she ate all; she ate all at hand
she ate all she was fed and all at the table
and she demanded more by platefuls and bucketfuls
and she ate by trolley-fulls and delivery-truck-fulls
and her parents had to bring in
containers shipped in from China daily
all by Double Happiness exclusive deals

And Skinny Vinny ate and ate
and no food went to waste;
and her parents spent all their inherited fortunes
and they worked and worked day and night
even at the time when cockroaches fly
so they could feed Skinny Vinny
who ate all far and nigh -
and when last I checked the Daily Mule
( whose publication motto is:
We swear to carry nothing but unprocessed truth)
the parents are still working in the mines
in order to feed Skinny Vinny
who once would eat nothing



All parents learn your lesson*
And so be warned all ye parents
that threaten harm to your children
because they will not eat -
the very threats will be laid on your heads
and you will be digging in coal mines
to feed your kids

O cool baby, Smoking Lady
woman of elegance, lady of ease and poise
O Mysterious Lady
of charm from hair done
in style right down to concealed feet
O my wildest dreams are written
in the curls of the smoke you exhale
and for such Eastern finesse and dreams
I’d kiss each of your delicate fingers exposed…
O cool baby, Smoking Lady….
the zen of life is in your parted lips;
O you demonstrate the zen of smoking
and my desires are in the ocean of your clothes…
O Elegant Lady  
maybe we could smoke a peace pipe,
you smoke and I smoke
you pass it to me and I pass it back to you
and then peace blowing
could take us to where we could put mouth to mouth
and blow each into the other
all the smoke into each other
and we tumble over each other
and your hair will be as my wildest dreams of you
and your clothes almost meager
as befitting the heat of summer
and so discover each
the state of the lightness of smoke-*******  
O cool baby, Smoking Lady
woman of elegance, lady of ease and poise
my acrobatic thoughts float at the sight of you
like the curls of smoke you send up to the gods

Do elephants talk to each other?
of course they do -
they use an ele-phone
Well, they used to
(just like they used to make trunk calls)
now they use ele-mail

And like us, they send selfies:
the girls show themselves
naked in their mud bath;
and the boys rampaging through
what’s left of the forests

I  did a gig last night
at the local bar - Moderation Inn,
they called it

and  I played the piano
late into the night -
the usual tunes, the usual crowd:
friends and lovers
people talking aloud
no one who drank in moderation;
couples dancing...when I noticed
an elephant in the corner
crying,  
and I said to the elephant
even as I continued playing:
"Recognise the tune?"

"No,"  said the elephant,
shaking its head
*"I recognise the ivory"

Elephants come in colors
in elephant parade
If it’s green, you wait till it ripens
If it’s blue, you cheer it up
If it’s red
it's just like you and I -
it's probably embarrassed

And if you’re wondering what
you’re standing under -
gray, big and protecting you from the rain –
*it's an umbrellaphant