the asteroid came
unexpected unheralded unprophesied -
it didn't think, it didn't have theology

it put a hole through the earth
it implied: "I'm in a hurry;
not going anywhere in particular though
and all of you making all those plans
you got all those birthdays
and your Grand Days
and New Year's Eve  to celebrate -
you can go, you're just dust"
and it waved goodbye with its tails as it left
*"goodbye, spoilt brats -
you can go, you're each just dust"

1)
I was a blowfly
for weeks
in my previous birth
with metallic olive-green sheen
and wings and all


and my friends and I would fly
into the local bar
every eve
and we'd always be courteous:
"Bzzz....Is that stool taken?"

2)
Now that in this birth I'm human
I think many of us (man or woman)
can learn a thing or two
about manners from my blowfly life:
Always ask before you take a *stool

1
Well, I've dated a few guys, sure -
you know, being Ms Hyphen
I'm sociable, like to bring people together
that sort of thing
So I dated that guy Exclamation Mark
and what the hell, he was shouting all the time!
He's just too excitable, not my type

Sure, Comma was more sedate
but a little too slow for me, you know
So I gave guys like Inverted Commas and Parenthesis
a try - but hell, they were always trying to frame me
So I like said to myself, maybe I'll try someone else
from the Mark family, and woooh! - this guy
was like questioning me all through dinner
and I was like thinking to myself:
What's with this guy? Where does he work?
At the NSA or FBI or what?
I guess you know who I'm talking about

Well, I dated all the other guys too
like Semi-Colon and then Colon
but you know, one liked to separate;
and the other was always out
with his smartphone
listing things I said

2
So I nearly gave up dating when I thought -
Hey what about Dash?
That's a dashing fellow surely
and he seems to be just like me
(except he is - as is apt for a guy - long)
but he was just like Semi-Colon -
always separating people
You got to bring people together
in this world, you know;
that's what this world needs

Yes, I dated Full Stop too
but he was always getting me to stop
and besides, he said his alias was Period -
now that freaked me out, you know
Hey, what kind of guy walks around
with a name like Period?

I'll tell you like who's the worst guy to date, OK -
that's Apostrophe:
O listen darling, was he ever so possessive!

3
Well, I'll give my dating career a break -
maybe come next year,
I might try dating 2nd of February

herein I tell the tale of how "it's" and "its" entered into a suicide pact, and how I counselled them, and saved them from certain death

1
in fair paper and screens  
where our sins mostly lie
there were born two asterik-crossed lovers:
it's and its
and though they did not die
they did marry
and they begot a child
the second it's  -
though it has a life of its own

2
But in the hands of so many
were "it's" and "its" abused,
it was no longer funny
One said: *"The dog missed it's master"
(and people wondered if the dog is the master)
and another advised: "Seize the bull by it's horns"
and while many stood distracted by the meaning
the bull ****** its horns deep into their posteriors

And so were "it's" and "its" driven to woe
that they made a suicide pact
and I was commissioned to counsel them:
"Listen, it's the age of the
you're for your
there for their
(and vice-versa)
and people are no longer who but that;
an age in which people think an apple
is something you poke at"

And thus were it's and its consoled
and in my wisdom of the ages, I continued:
"Besides you've got your baby it's (it has) to think of"

3
And so it is I saved "it's" and the "its"
for our noble English Language,
turned comic what would have been tragic -
but what matters it anyway
when people still mess up the two
just as we mess up the earth
and misuse beliefs and religion

I visited your page
to read your poems
(I thought you'd like to know)
but they were so lost
in a very long list of poems
by so many other poets
and so down and down I went
digging and digging
to find you
in your page
but hey, it was too much bother
(yes, you can take me to task for it)
diving so deep to find you
so I just aborted and clicked away

Don't blame me -  I can only hold my breath
for so long when I go free-diving;
and if I dig too long, I get a bad back

so I brought my writer wife
(prominently pregnant)
to the hospital
and on her bed, she screamed:
"weren't" "hasn't" "couldn't" "shan't"
"aint" "hadn't" "you're" "isn't"
"aren't" "didn't" "wasn't"
"who's?" "what's?" "he's" "she's"

The doctors were confounded
and they turned to me and they said:
"What the hell is she doing?"

And I replied with double speed
and a violent sense of urgency:
*"Don't you know?
She's having contractions -
she's a writer"