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bella 1d
why didnt you take my heart with you?
sobbing so violently my ache breaks
b
      a
              r
                        r
                                 i
                                         e
                                                 r
                                                       s
windows b r e a k once the note hit me where
my hurt is out my chest now

delayed   but sumcummed to
where my heart is only ha lf
sound is silent once i reach our home
as
     loud
             as
                 my
                      tears
                               can
                                      be
                                           now
but they cant break between the b a r r i o r of
dead and alive
and im broken but alive
ur
     dead
               and
                      broken
ha lf my heart with you
if only he **** my art with
i would be set free
he and me

comfort in no more future possibilities
a sore heart without he
each throb burning
i hope till theres nothing left
your only form now
a
    s
        h
           e
              s
my childhood dog died and it led to dark feelings :c
bella 1d
i had a dream last night and u died
i dont rememeber it very well
real life translated to my inner world
music was bumping and my favorite band was playing
a rush provoking scene i still hope will become real

it **** me back to the rocks
a replay of my favorite scene of us all
but this time we hid from the stage
we were led away from the show like fate

ive told myself this day had to come for peace of mind
my words that bounced in my head for so long
unhinged but abided

but now bombed u
booming like the music we heard before
rehearsed and chewed

premeditated

faint of thought my throat spit truth
we release from the rock scene
my heart bumping instead of the lyrics

now in the distance
i throw words at u
but u dont seem surprised
did u know all this time?

then punches
this burden i carried that i thought protected me only protected u
where now u look like cherry pie

no fork no spoon
speared across ur face
and ur neck tattoed
my hands forever printed on u

blueberry is my pie-
bruised and blue

my words didnt phase u

enginating something within me, a release
i takeoff-

im in my blue rocket
destination: homicide
it had to be 3 seconds i flyed
it felt like eternity

the rocket bursts and pieces fly
course breaths consumed the still air
this battle of burden
i thought it was finally over, atleast then it was

did u think i couldnt finish the job?

as u stab each broken piece into urself
u became more broken, disjointed
cliche cherry pie-choosing urself and im stuck with the consequences

i killed u to the naked eye
framing me
blaming me

relief when i wake, thankful for the experience of uncommon honestly inside
a sign that this chapter of thought has been closed

pages left behind and new beginnings to unfold reflecting on this imagined world-
im left wondering who did i give peace to, me or u?

ur mind is set free and now mine?
racing, running-
infinitely in dreamworld
bella 1d
lots of leaves and tall trees
a blue house staring over me

a feeling alone, mocking me

orange sky and ease
angst building as the sun deepens

can i ever be set free?

from this cycle that witholds me-
recurring power to negativity and gloom

can positivity really be enough for me?

to keep rising again, through dark space-
only able to rely on me

light in obvious places, scares me
a trick waiting to point and tease

doors that seem to be js a push away-

yet i pull

im all in on the losing side of tug a war
once i fall only i can pick myself back up

fear in things that might not be as they seem
balance is key

lack of hope is what gets me
impending doom within me

romanticizing potential like a love novel-
too good to be true

neglect: a forever question of truth

unrealiable feel of belong-
only love can make me feel so small

— The End —