I am but a Monster...
Monsters fall in love too
And, in fact, this Monster
has fallen deeply for you

I can't remember your voice, and it hurt me so bad because it's the one thing I couldn't go without each day. I can't remember the way you kissed me and told me It was gonna be alright.
I can't remember your touch and it's something I craved so much, I can't remember the way you told me you loved me and how your face would light when I told you I loved you back. No I don't remember anything but the pain I felt after I told you I was sorry.
And it hurts so much..
That I don't believe in love anymore.

On this day a year ago
I asked the girl of my dreams to be mine.
But today has been the loneliest.
On this day a year ago I felt so alive and so full of joy.
But today I cried on my bathroom floor wanting to forget you.
On this day a year ago I told you no matter what, I'd always be by your side Cheering you on.
But today I'm still trying to figure out what went wrong between us.
On this day a year ago... I fell in love.
But today you no longer exist.

It still hurts when someone mentions your name.
Because I know I'll never get over the fact that you were once here
Smiling, laughing and loving. I have to remind myself that perfect endings don't exist and no matter how much you want things in life to happen you have to be patient. But patience doesn't heal your pain, patience doesn't wipe your tears from your face,  patience doesn't pick up from the bathroom floor at 2 in the morning....This is why I needed you

I forgot how beautiful you looked,
But i noticed you right away.
Tears began to roll dowm my cheeks i cant remember if it was because i was happy i found you or because i had so much anger held back.
I cant describe the pain i felt or how much anger i wanted to release. I just remember crying, and i remembered how much it just tore me apart. but you were okay, youre living the life, you have so much ahead of you snd it tears me limb to limb knowing that i couldnt be apart of that. Are you happy now? Because All i have is swollen eyes

And then I asked myself.
How can I still love someone who doesn't exist anymore?

Why am I torturing myself by pretending like I've moved on?

I dream of you every moment of every day.
I think of you when I look in the mirror and I think of your arms around my waist.
I miss you with every breath I draw and I miss us with every breath that leaves my body.
I remember your smooth voice the second I wake up and its the last thing I hear when I fall asleep.
You are all I can think about.
The perfect drug within the perfect woman.

I tell you it’s dark inside 

You say turn on a light

I say it hurts my eyes

I’ve gotten use to the dark 

I can feel my way to my heart 

And lay down on its surface

I can tiptoe my way

Around hopelessness 

Slip on a few things 

But not fall

But you’re still new to it 

You still trip on my

Newly discovered fears

Still drown in my overwhelming 

Sea of sadness 

You've gotten bruises

From slipping on my silence 

You have fallen on my weariness

And I’m sorry 
I never meant for it 

To swallow you too 

Loving you makes a difference 

But you can't fix a ****
With nothing but a twig 

You can take a horse to a spring 

But you can't make it drink 

You can love me all you want 

But I have to learn 

To love myself 

Enough to turn on the light 

I will try to ease my eyes
to the light 
But fire eventually burns out
Even candles know that

I’m sorry I’m not okay 

I wish I was

If only it were 

To be well enough 

To look into your eyes 

And not feel like I’m drowning

To be able to feel 

The trace of your hands on mine

And not wish you didn’t have to

Feel the scars 

I’m sorry I’m not okay 

I really wish I was 

If only to be able to tell you
How much I love you 

Enough to not die for you

Enough to live with you