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 Jul 2015 jacky
Boaz Priestly
i know what it’s like
trust me on this one
to be betrayed by your own mind
a handful of pills
morning and then after breakfast
and then after dinner
the dreaded 500 calories needed to
make the magic work
like how am i gonna get skinny
if i eat like this

i’ve been betrayed by
my own hand
when the right took the razor
store bought a dollar a dozen
or filched away in my pocket
but that was only one time
to the left arm
and i cried that first time
but only because of how much it bled
and boy did it bleed

i betrayed myself once
for four years
with every cut and scrape
and lapse and relapse
it never ends
it never ends
until it does
and you don’t know what to do
with yourself
but it does not make you weak

and then i gave
myself up to the wolves
with a handful of pills
choked down with a bubbly water
because i  couldn’t take them with water
to save my life
and i went to sleep that night
fully prepared
not to wake up in the morning
like that old man in the nursery rhyme

i became a master
of faking a smile
but sometimes i over share
and accidentally give people
a glimpse of the shattered pieces
beneath my calm facade
and they either look at me with pity
or back away slowly
i don’t wanna be pitied
but some of them stay

and i understand what
you are going through
because i have been there
in that same hell
since i was twelve
since that first cut
since that first overdose
since that first therapist
since that first hospital visit
but we just need to keep going

we’re alright we’re alright
not because we really are
but because people need us to be
and i am right there beside you
i will hold your hand through the
constant struggle against our own minds
because you will not lose this battle
i understand
i get it
i am here for you

the kids can’t be
alright until people listen to us
take us seriously ******
because this is not a game
nobody willingly picks up the board
they try to throw down the pieces
but they are stuck to our hands
and they won’t come off
this is something you can’t shake off
but we’re alright
 Jul 2015 jacky
Boaz Priestly
abby abby
eyes of gold
what does your
reflection hold

abby abby
actually eyes of green and blue
like the ocean after a storm
your eyes hold depths that
we cannot fathom

abby abby
perfect smile
light up a room
make others smile too

abby abby
beautiful flower
strong like a tree
roots sunk deep into the heart
of the earth

abby abby
my rock to lean against
when the going gets rough
i don’t let many people cry on my shoulder
but you are certainly invited to
when and if you need to

abby abby
keep me up at night
but in the best possible way
the dreams where you are in them
leave me feeling rested

abby abby
gonna do great things
just have to stick around
to see what the future holds
a future as bright as your eyes

abby abby
platonic love of my life
i love you
i love you
i love you

abby abby
my dearest friend
 Jul 2015 jacky
Dreams of Sepia
She chases the white rabbit
in the afternoons

plays blackjack
with the doves of youth

her innocence
is colored Pink

her queer dreams
are made of silk

she is the Queen
of sunny afternoons

her heart
is like stained glass

through
which the light appears

and fades


*blackjack - is a card game played in American casinos
 Jul 2015 jacky
Marianne M
#8
 Jul 2015 jacky
Marianne M
#8
Don't light yourself on fire trying to brighten someones existence.
TenWordStory
 Jul 2015 jacky
The Jolteon
Big brother
Please come
You do hold the key

Without you
I'll run
Straight back to the sea

Big brother
You sneer
Why don't you see

You're a tyrant
I'm done
Please get up and leave
 Jul 2015 jacky
rattletaptap
Gunshots and screams
Are ringing all around,
Neither silence nor peace
Inside me can be found.

Bullets slice through air,
Swift; like a winter wind.
Bodies fall into mud,
Like red autumn leaves.

The odor of their blood,
Brings tears to my eyes
And within them hidden,
The cry, for my fallen allies.

Explosions shake the ground,
Leaving people in distress,
Soldiers moving around,
Like peons in a game of chess.

Corpses are used as shields,
Blocking piercing rounds,
Missiles fall from up high,
Ending lives with heavy sounds.

A ****** pulls the trigger
From deep inside the forest,
Within my chest a raging pain,
Shackles me to enemy soil.

The rainbow-painted sky,
Distant and ever-reaching,
Finally smiles upon me,
It knows I am about to die.
 Jul 2015 jacky
Wretched
Sa dinami-rami ng mga maliliit na bagay
na alam ko tungkol sa'yo,
kaya ko ng makasulat ng isang nobela
na iyon lamang ang nilalaman.
Paano pa kaya
kung malaman ko ang mga pinakatatago **** sikreto?
Paano pa kaya
kung matuklasan ko ang iyong pinakamaiitim na lihim?
Paano kung kinaya kong buksan
ang iyong puso't isipan para lang malaman
kung sino ang itong nilalaman?
Kaya lang sa'king palagay
hindi ko kakayaning makita
na iniisip mo kung paano
mo hahawakan ang kaniyang kamay.
Na ang tumatakbo pala sa iyong isipan
ay kung paano mo siya gustong hagkan.
Doon pa lamang,
bumigay na ang aking puso
Ginusto ko ng dukutin ang aking mga mata
para lang hindi masilayan kung gaano ka kasaya
sa piling niya.
Iyon na siguro ang malaki **** sikreto.
Mahal mo pa rin siya
Hindi ko na naman kailangang tanungin
dahil pag tinitignan kita, siya ang nakikita mo.
Ayoko ng makita muli ang laman ng iyong puso.
Ayoko ng matandaan.
Ayoko ng pakielaman.
Pero sana
*Sana yung maliliit na bagay na lang
ang aking nalaman.
 Apr 2015 jacky
Emily Dickinson
1435

Not that he goes—we love him more
Who led us while he stayed.
Beyond earth’s trafficking frontier,
For what he moved, he made.
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