one day you're going to feel beyond your body
a transcendent feeling that your soul cannot utter a word
and your eyes forgot what was real and what was a dream
like there living a story from your childhood books
flying like a fairy or a dragon with flame-throwing breaths
and your hands will fail grasping your body
and then music will flow though the waves and particles of light
travelling in its own speed but you still can see it
like everything is in slow motion
like everything is unreal

but right now,
everything is in your safe zone
the way the things in your room feels like a prison
and the sound of your heartbeat is the only thing your ears could trust
like the doors were locked
the windows are shut, there is no escaping
you've danced your way into your own travesty
and it keeps you feeling, and the feeling is changing
they may say that change is good
but they also lie to your face, nothing is still real
a different kind of sensation of blackness in the middle of the day
emptying, frustrating, wilding

but one day, you will feel special
hope for it, wait for it

if it's not me then don't take me.

i have grown into a person,
unreliable, unhealthy, and selfless
throwing knives through each breath
but underneath the ***** skin i am in,
if it's not me, then don't take me.

my fingerprints are all over the news
one said i killed you, one said you killed me
there was no other way, but to wait
into the darkness
we both created.

i have confessed
with every count of blood cells inside my veins
there was no turning back
until you did
and you brought me -

i woke up, naked, in the middle of the night
in the middle of a deserted road,
it was empty, no cars, no grass, no walls, no us
just me, just you. i waited for you to say it
but you made me wait -

you said the words i needed to hear
you uttered every syllable the way i imagined
and right now,
how i wish i didn't, because
if you're not going to take me, then don't take me.

if its not me, don't play with me.
don't tell me you will, and then stop

like how would you feel
if this
will e-










nd right here?

if you're not going to take me wholly, then don't.

if its not me, then don't take me.

16-word-story: you let my words crash onto your shore but you refuse to call me the ocean

you are every thought i have
drunk ones, and even the ones i utter in my sleep
yet, there you are
unaware of my existence

i am naked, and this is my story

though my thoughts are a mess
and all that i am is in a dysfunctional state
my skin screams the same things i tried to bury before
this is not me, and I could perfectly remember
running away the moment i get scratched on my knees
or get little wounds on my palms
the moment i begin to feel
i run away

this was not planned, hurting is never part of any of anyone's plan
it's the compromise of life, it's the second skin of love
and i let my guards down, threw the keys
opened every passage i could ever open
unconditionally it happened, like hurting it was not on my plan
by this time, i remember
smiling together with a stranger in my reflection
'let's do this
for once, fight for something, fight for a possibility'
and i still am, and i'll still will

this depth is the shallow part of the river or the ocean
hidden beyond the pebbles, sharp edges of stone
my heart swims, with eyes closed
i let the current turn these words
into the crashing waves
feel it, do not be afraid
because i am, and i'm hurting

i don't care, please see that
the future holds you like a hostage
stockholm syndrome wins over
and i'd be the police at the end of the scene
trying to salvage whatever that is left to proclaim

i could be selfish just now, you could be selfish just now

reality is absurd and its hands are catching on
even the fear I left behind seemed never left me
hooked on my neck, ready to choke me
with one word you say
I'd stop, but I won't
this heart won't
this mind won't

i am naked and this is my story
those clothes were my shield, my shelter
and i torn them down
burning every inch
letting freedom take me over
feeling the pain flow through my veins
i am naked,
and all my clothes can't shield me from anything anymore
and i don't care, for once
i really want to feel every bit of it
whatever it is
whatever made me scared
here i am, naked

fill me in, and turn my bones into ashes
the way the flames
crept up my clothes

i am naked and this is my story