It all began with a ‘he’
he who said I was pretty
when my face turns sideways and
the right amount of sunlight casts shadows
on the planes of my cheeks
he who kissed me in 6th grade
in front of my best friend – whom he used to date,
his lips were cool and moist
moist – it didn’t feel anything.
he who requested love songs during our high school intramurals
when all of my friends and all of his friends
cheer us up like we were the sweetest thing they’ve seen.
he who danced with me the whole night of our junior prom,
my shoes dangling behind him, my arms and his arms were sweating
he whispers now, “You look beautiful.”
he who gave me wilting flowers on the 15th of February
because I skipped school – too scared to face the truth
that no one would do what he just did. He proved me wrong.
he who said “I love you” too late.
he who said “I love you” too early.
He who made me believe that fate, destiny, sparks, forever, and all that *******
were real, written in His holy book. Should I still believe in you?
he who said would wait – the next month telling me he realized
it wasn’t me he was waiting for.
he who told me to stay.
he who left. he who never went back.
and oh – he
he who was never here in the first place.
it all began with a “she”
she who danced in front of the class
with all her sass, snaps, and we laugh.
she whose hair used to be straight
swaying down her waist, flows smoothly when she walks,
falls perfectly down her collarbones. Let’s not start with collarbones.
she whose eyelids flutter like butterfly wings
making the ones inside my stomach dance like hummingbird’s wings
her eyelashes are thick, outlining her brown eyes – her perfect brown eyes.
she who throws he head back when she laughs
not knowing I drift and crash back to the sea
like a wave thrown back by her chuckles and laughter
she who reads and reads tons of books
when she could write about her day
and that’ll still be the greatest stories I could read
she who held me close when she stumbles towards the bus station
when she’s drunk
she who wanted nothing between us – worried it will not work.
but she made the raindrops of yesterday meaningful
so it could wash off all the hurt from everything, from everyone.
she who changed me. – no.
she who made me face the mirrors I’ve been running away from
all those lies I’ve been hiding alone
all those pain, all those bad memories
she washed them all away, like a hurricane
she dragged my whole town with her
she who made me forget.
she who makes me ache at times but it’s the kind of ache
you’d gladly take – a suffering worth all the suffering
she who outshined all of – in the best possible way I could imagine
she who made the stars insignificant.
It doesn’t end with a ‘he’
It doesn’t end with a ‘she’
it all ends up with a simple ‘who’
that person who will always come through
for you
I learned that love sometimes doesn’t last that long
sometimes it doesn’t even start at all.
But I know one thing, you cannot fight it.
I don’t know where – maybe in his hands
or in her eyes. It will make you move like you
have no choice at all – like a puppet stuck
******* and down nylon strings
by the puppeteer
dictating your life
like you have no choice, at all.
This is supposed to be for Slam Poetry =) But I guess, it's okay to post it here.