This agony, we call love,
I have fallen into,
And it's a great yet destroying feeling,
Especially when its a one way conversation of 2 hearts.

I saved your videos and pictures on my phone,
As a sad escape to feel less alone,
It worked for a while,
Until reality kicked in once again,
Then the blade returned to my skin,
The numbers on the scale started to fade,
Grades started to drop,
Never felt the same,
This was all a lucid dream,
As if i were on a high,
But i when i woke up,
I would have rather died.

When I overthink the air around me becomes heavy and makes it harder to breathe.

Spec-tac-ular

There may be times when you contemplate & debate...
&fee;; as insignificant as a grain of sand in the middle of the desert
but
Know that to me, you have always been the speck of dust out of the million other that stood out and glisnted gold in the swirling sunlight
While the others merely hovered amidst the air as if they where lost.

When people expect and expect...and expect of you
Until you feel like a piece of blue-tac that has been used over and over and over again
Until your sweet stickiness is lost
Know that I would still love you even if to the world you seemed useless.And I would remind you that even tho sometimes I'm not always there to freshen up your day I shall never stop trying to be there 4 you even if I lose my mintyness too...
because a tic never abadndons a tac

Because you are the girl who I will never be able to truly serve justice by describing you by words.

You are the one who I tried to describe by using the word
Spectacluar...
& even after I broke it down...
Even then...
Just like a beautiful forever unknown
There's always an end part that I can never fully know..about you
But I guess that's what makes you a beautiful mystery.

The fact you're like a precious golden 'speck'
And a 'tac' that never stops breaking off pieces of yourself to help others even if it means you have less

But...
'Ular' you are something 'ular' too...
I don't know what or what the 'ular' of you is...
But I'm sure whatever 'it' is...it adds up to make you...
*Spectacularly...you