Lately, due to lack of sleep and immense heartache
I have been drinking more coffee
In attempt to avoid dreaming of you because it is so brutal
You are still here with me
Or you are on your way back
But when I wake, you are doing neither of those two things
This is my skin, not yours, and yet you are still under it
I am well aware of the blood running through the tunnels under the sheets of my skin
But I am not sure how they work
And I am not sure of why I still love you after you told me there was nothing left here for me
And yet I keep returning to see if you have changed your mind
You see, my definition of love
Is going back to an abandoned home everyday
And finding vast vacant spaces but still searching every corner, bedroom, kitchen cabinet, for a clue
And though each day, you find nothing
You think that today is going to be the day
That they may have left something behind on where you can find them
But you do not want to be found, you do not need to be
Sometimes, in just the right lighting
I can see the your tall figure standing in my room looking at pictures I've hung on the wall
Sometimes, I spend so long thinking of you
I don't realize that the music has stopped or that the wine is gone or that it's 4am again
How terrible is it that 95% of the ocean is undiscovered and I wish it was like that with you
But I know everything about you
The things that make you cringe, certain noises that make your ribcage shutter
Certain smells that bring back a memory of your grandfather at Christmas
And I am tired of hearing the same song play over again in my head
I am tired of spilling your name out all over my mattress in a drunken sickness in the middle of the night
I am tired of hiding myself behind drunken nights that are as never as fun as they sound
I am so tired
So in essence of oblivion, in grace of all distraught love poems, in complement to the sound of his voice replaying itself on my car radio
I will fix myself one more cup of coffee
Because I just can't bare going to sleep
I can't bare slipping away from reality any more than I already have

I Say "Hi"
A Beautiful Stranger
She Keeps Walking
We Pass By
I'm Just Looking
Corner Of My eye
Foxy Little Lady
She Is Sly
Lips Stay Sealed
They're My Alibi
Felt Your Eye
Gave A Reply
You Said "Hi"
Not Being Shy
I'm With Her
That's Your Guy
Our Little Secret
Eyes Don't Lie
My Beautiful Stranger
Walk On: Bye.

He wanted to know her
he wanted to touch every inch
of her imperfectly perfect skin
to know every scar
to know her tiger stripes
from growth spurts and pregnancy
the pieces of metal left in her
and the dislocated bones
all had their own stories from childhood
the day she was caught on a fence
the tom boy in lace socks
her mum had dressed her in
for Sunday school
the ripped dress as she fell in mud
breaking her right elbow which to
this day left her with a bone pointing out
he wanted to spend days
just looking at her scarred face-
her upper lip – sat in the changing rooms
after a gymnastics competition
playing catch but the bottle of water
went right at her face
her forehead – walking at ten months
trips and falls, she hits her head
on the way down face to face
with the rockery -
incidentally the rockery where the cat
is buried
poor thing was stood on many times
as she was learning to walk
he counts the freckles on her left cheekbone
which on her porcelain skin
shine like Orion’s Belt on a clear night
he loved every part of her she did not
he memorized every feature that made
her “her”
he knew the truth had always been there
right in front of him since the first
time he saw her naked –
her naked soul exposed a long time before
anything he could ever make tangible.

© Sia Jane

I don't know why but whenever i look at you...
I'm speechless
Simply dumbfounded
There are so many things i wanna tell you...
...things i've never told no one
The way i feel for you..i've never felt that for no one
But each and every time i muster up some courage...
...one look at you and that's it
I simply forget what i wanted to say to you
I start to stammer
I get tongue-tied
The words simply refuse to flow
I must admit though that i can't completely be blamed for this
After all you are the most beautiful distraction i've ever seen
You are like H2O...
No other drink can substitite you
I need you
Your beautiful long hair
Those red-painted lips of yours
Those intriguing deep blue eyes
That seductive stare that you give me
Your sweet voice
Your intoxicating fragrance
They all are tempting and teasing me to the core
Tonight i want to rip my heart out for you
Tonight i wanna do ***** things to you
I've waited for an eternity
I can't wait any longer
Tonight i wanna tell you that i'm yours
You are the only one who makes me smile
You are the only one who makes me blush
You are the only one who makes my heart skip a beat
You are the only one who arouses my body,soul and mind

how I'm all but
suffocated
by the story of her
wake
& somehow she is always
busy;
I've crawled so far
out of my way

I cannot stand to
sit and listen
to my heartbeat falling faint
its own pulsation makes me dizzy
& veins paint painfully her face


so I can call it quitting
now that everything's turned grey
& all my cannot haves are useless
just like, loving you this *way